Shiny Object Syndrome in your spiritual practice is like trying to build a house without a blueprint.

Shiny Object Syndrome in your spiritual practice is like trying to build a house without a blueprint.

Do you suffer from Shiny Object Syndrome in your spiritual practice?

If so, you may feel like your knowledge is disorganized, fragmented or doesn’t work together in a useful way. You might feel like you’re not making the progress that you desire in your healing and transformation. You may be sitting around, looking at your life and thinking, “I took all these trainings, now what?”

Relax, I’ve got you. You’re not alone.

Shiny Object Syndrome is something that a lot of people fall into, especially at the beginning of their spiritual journey, and to a certain extent, it’s useful. Shiny Object Syndrome lets you dip your toes in the water of many different pools to see what sparks your interest and resonates well with you at that time.

But beyond exposing you to many different modalities, Shiny Object Syndrome in your spiritual practice is no longer useful, and can actually be detrimental to your long-term growth and healing if you keep pursuing hodgepodge trainings without understanding how to apply them in a cohesive way.

Don’t get me wrong—I love learning. I am a huge fan of studying different modalities and learning a variety of techniques for healing and spiritual practice. I’ve been practicing for more than 20 years and the list of trainings and certifications I have is probably pages long at this point.

The problem with Shiny Object Syndrome isn’t studying a variety of practices—the problem is if you don’t have a holistic framework for those practices to be useful to you within the larger context of long-term healing and transformation.

Imagine if you wanted to build a house, and you had a belt full of tools and a pile of materials, but no blueprint. You would know how to use each of your tools individually, but you would have no idea how to put the materials together in a way that made them useful to you to build a big project.

Alchemy provides a blueprint for transformation that gives you a holistic framework to determine which practices are most beneficial and useful to you at any given time in your overall process of growth and healing.

Alchemy is literally the blueprint for transformation. That’s its whole thing. Look no further, my friends.

All transformation (including growth, healing, spiritual development and more) includes consistent and predictable stages that have very different energies and require different practices to work with those energies. The simplest way to look at this is the three phases of Alchemy:

• Death: releasing the old

• Purification: rearranging what you keep and making room for the new

• Rebirth: bringing in new life and creation

All transformation also happens on all levels. Alchemy calls this The Three Essentials:

• Salt: the body/physical realm

• Mercury: the heart/mind/soul

• Sulfur: the spirit/etheric realm

You will always need a variety of practices to navigate the process of transformation. This is where Shiny Object Syndrome is useful, so you have a buffet of practices to support you. The practices you need to support your body through a Death phase of cleansing and releasing will not be the same as the practices you need to support your heart/mind through a Rebirth phase. Just like you need different tools to accomplish different tasks in building a house, you need a variety of spiritual tools to support you in a long-term, holistic transformation process.

But unless you have the larger context and framework to help you understand where you are in the process of transformation and which specific tool you need, you will be sitting there with your toolbelt and materials and no blueprint to build the house, trying to use a saw to install the plumbing.

Do you need a blueprint for transformation? Do you want to put all of your trainings and practices to their best, most effective use in your growth and healing?

I AM Alchemy begins March 2024.

As one course graduate shared:

“Through I AM Alchemy, I have learned so much about how creation, transformation, and magic works on both a practical and spiritual level. This course helped me to incorporate all of the different teachings and modalities that I've learned before into a strong foundation that I can continue to use over and over again. My life is so much more magical and expansive. I feel like I've upleveled into a new version of power, creation, mastery, and connection. I have also deepened my trust in spirit and magic that has made the hard parts of life so much easier and the best parts of life more joyful… I recommend I AM Alchemy to anyone who feels called, especially those who have taken many courses and programs but still feel like they're not fully integrating. For me, this was like the graduate study in practical magic that helped pull everything together and allowed me to lead my own transformation.”

I AM Alchemy is a year-long course in practical transformation for your spiritual journey. Check out all the course details here.

Early Bird ends December 22. Are you ready to apply for the course and claim your Early Bird discount?

$200 off Student Path!

$400 off Apprentice Path!

(If you're not sure which option is right for you, I will help you decide during our consultation.)

Here's how to lock in your spot for I AM Alchemy Early Bird:

1. Submit your application for I AM Alchemy.

2. Book a consultation with me.

3. Pay your deposit to hold your spot.

I AM Alchemy:

Study the Mystery

Practice Transformation

Actualize your Radiance

I AM Alchemy: The Mystery School of Science and Spiritual Practice

Okay, y’all. Time for a vulnerable share.

I AM Alchemy represents something quite phenomenal, and deeply personal. What now exists as a year-long intensive training course in practical magic began as me following my intuitive guidance to work with the natural energies of transformation.

From the time I was very young, this way of looking at the world has simply made the most sense to me. When I first began officially studying and practicing Shamanism in 2003, my natural inclinations were confirmed by an Earth-based way of knowing that is older than recorded history itself.

I was always interested in healing, science, magic, personal inquiry and the miracle of nature, and I discovered while I was in high school that these concepts had a very natural intersection. I continued my education and investigation. While earning my undergraduate degree in Animal Physiology and Behavior, I simultaneously completed Master Healer training and furthered my Shamanic studies. I walked the paths of magic and of science at the same time, and discovered that they ultimately led to the same place: back to that same worldview that I’d had as a child, but with all the benefits of the added wisdom of life experience.

I AM Alchemy is simply a synthesis of this world view. That which I took for granted as a child (the sacredness of life itself, the magic that exists in all beings, the power and utter majesty of the Earth) now takes on new significance through the lens of where the path has taken me through the study of life. As I grew beyond my young innocence, I learned that not everyone experiences the world in this way… but that people are hungry for it again, and the time has come for us to reclaim this Sacred Work.

This course is a revolution not only in the body of knowledge itself, but also in the way that we relate to knowledge. Science and Spiritual practice have more in common than we might think: both are means of discovering Truth, both emphasize inquiry and research, both honor the contributions of our ancestors (physical, energetic and intellectual) and both, in their purest form, serve to uplift, empower and inspire all beings.

These two paths of Science and Spirituality were once a unified journey. The investigation of life took place just as much within the heart as within the lab. Modern chemistry, medicine and principles of physics were born from the research of spiritual practitioners as they sought to identify God in the world around them. Throughout history, Alchemists are noted not only for their philosophical and spiritual work, but their contributions to the scientific community. Alchemy is one of the few practices (if not the only one) that has maintained a foot in both worlds.

However, these paths drifted apart, and the worlds of Science and Spirit grew to vilify each other. History is riddled with examples of the scientific community looking upon spiritual practitioners with disdain, and just as many examples of the spiritual community rejecting the findings of science. The path of science shifted in the Yang direction of logic, linear thinking, reason and structure, and spiritual practice as a whole moved in the Yin direction of fluidity, passivity and suppression in the outer world. The spiritual collective had lost its structure, and science had lost its soul.

We are at a turning point in the evolution of the planet where we have the opportunity to bring these fields once more into collaboration and support of each other. I firmly believe, having walked both paths, that this is one of the fundamental pieces necessary in order for us to live a life of fully empowered creatorship. In order to truly actualize the world of our hearts and dreams, our relationship to knowing must include both the evidence-based experience, and the power of faith.

The time for knowledge that exists only in the thinking, rational state is over. Now is the time of feeling, embodied wisdom and subtle perception.

The time for retreating into an oblivious bliss state and separating from the physical realm is over. Now is the time of sovereignty, discernment and returning magic to the workings of Earth.

I AM Alchemy operates as an apprenticeship in practical magic through the paths of both Science and Spirituality. Throughout this course, we’ll be using the principles of scientific inquiry: asking really good questions, tracking data (lots of journaling and opportunities to reflect on trends), moving along a trajectory of investigation and grounding our results into our lived experience. We’ll also be working with principles of spiritual practice: honoring the immediacy and multifaceted nature of Truth, taking time for reverence and pure connection, inviting Spirit into our lives and living in alignment with the sacredness all around us.

My greatest wish for this work is that it serves to help usher in a new way of being on this planet—one that honors the sacredness of life and also gives us a road map for how to live in this world.

May this work support your own journey of sacred unfolding as you come home to yourself.

May this work support the freedom, sovereignty and health of all beings on Earth.

We do this work for the benefit of ourselves, of all those around us, of all beings on Earth and of the Earth, Herself.

Does this worldview of science and spiritual practice resonate with you?

Are you ready to take your place as a student of the Great Mystery?

Are you ready to apply for the course and claim your Early Bird discount?

$200 off Student Path!

$400 off Apprentice Path!

(If you're not sure which option is right for you, I will help you decide during our consultation.)

Here's how to lock in your spot for I AM Alchemy Early Bird:

1. Submit your application for I AM Alchemy.

2. Book a consultation with me.

3. Pay your deposit to hold your spot.

Are you excited?? I'm excited!!

I AM Alchemy:

Study the Mystery

Practice Transformation

Actualize your Radiance

Honoring the Ancestors

Hello, friends! Here in the northern hemisphere, we are entering the portal of Samhain. (This holy day is commonly acknowledged on November 1, solar Samhain falls around November 7, and lunar Samhain varies with the lunar cycle. Pick your favorite). Samhain (pronounced SOW-in, or SOW-ain), one of the four cross-quarter holy days, marks a time of year when the veil between this world and the spirit realm is thin.

During this season, we honor the third and final harvest, release and Death on Gaia. The solar cycle of the year ends, and we prepare for the next.  This is the portal of the Tomb: returning to the Void, surrender and rest.

This holy day is a powerful time to celebrate our ancestors--those ones who came before us, both known and beyond our knowing, who carried the torch of life through the ages, and whose flame lives on in us today.

At this time, we may request blessings and support from our healed ancestors.

We may offer blessings and healing to our ancestors who are wounded or suffering.

We may make offerings and prayers for ourselves to become good ancestors and take our seat of power to be in healthy service to all of our descendants (children, ideas, projects and legacy).

If you are called to do so, you can make a dedicated ancestor altar for the season for the purpose of prayers, offerings and healing work. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Michelle’s ancestor altar

How to Make an Ancestor Altar

There are many ways to make your ancestor altar. Some cultures and traditions have specific directions and practices, and if you observe these practices, go for it. If not, you can still honor your ancestors in an appropriate and respectful way.

Here are some items you may wish to include on your ancestor altar:

• Photos of your ancestors

• Personal belongings or heirlooms from your ancestors

• Items in the color red, to honor the bloodlines

• Offerings of food and drink (especially any known favorites of your ancestors,). You may wish to offer a small bite of your meal to the altar daily.

• Candles, flowers, incense and other nourishing/energizing sacred offerings

• In many traditions, offerings of tobacco, alcohol and sugar are considered particularly nourishing and energizing to the spirits. Please use your best discernment of what feels healthy and appropriate, especially if you are aware of a history of addiction within your lineage.

I invite you to bring your authentic, sovereign prayer to connecting with your ancestors. If you want some inspiration, here is an ancestor song:

We are remembering all of our ancestors
We are remembering all of our ancestors
Deep are the roots of the tree
Long is our memory
Great is our family
Of love alive in me
Of love alive in me

I'll be posting more ancestor songs on Instagram over the next couple of weeks. If you want to tune in, follow me there for more.

Blessed Samhain!

Michelle Hawk

Here's what people are saying behind my back

Here's what people are saying behind my back.

...in the best possible way!

Y'all, the Sacred Ecology course was so much fun. After decades of developing this curriculum through my personal practice and 1 on 1 mentorship instruction, I finally made it an "official" course at the end of the summer.

But don't let me tell you how amazing it was. Here are some notes about the course from a few of my students:
 

"I am a Medicine Woman, Trans Medium and Channel, Somatic Psychedelic Integration Specialist, and Psychedelic Doula. I took the Sacred Ecology course because Michelle is the best in her field, and after witnessing her powers from other offerings it truly was a no brainer. This course has been great because I have fully connected to the land, the spirits, and myself through Michelle’s guidance. In Sacred Ecology, I learned how to create a Protectorate and work within the fields of nature magic. My biggest takeaway is a true deepening of my morning and evening practice, my connection to the dragons and nature spirits, and feeling the depth of my connection to trees, plants and animals. Because of this course, I will be able to grow as a Medicine Woman, and continue to share my gifts more deeply and profoundly."

— Dayle Breault, she/her, Ceremonial Guide and Medicine Keeper, Costa Rica

"I like how Michelle sees and talks about the natural world. She is deeply committed to honoring & respecting Nature in all her forms. Michelle is a great teacher, and has put a lot of energy into creating a clear and well organized class. Michelle talked about certain offerings, as well as ways of connecting to animal allies in a way that inspired me to take action on things that I had been called to do for a while, but felt “blocked” from following through. Once I followed her direction, I was able to release old stories & welcome in fresh energy. These practices strengthened the connection I have with my home, land and neighborhood. After hearing my story with one particular offering, Michelle pinpointed an issue that I could do some self healing with to benefit my life and my ancestral lineage, and she provided a great framework for how to move forward with that."
— Jessica Riphenburg, Shamanic Practitioner

"I participated in Sacred Ecology because I wanted to connect to my indigenous ancestors and respect the land in which I travel. Now I have a high level connection and new tools to respectfully travel on land that I can honor and respect. I can give offerings and work directly with my ancestors and spirit guides. In this course I learned where I come from and have a deeper understanding of the presence of Gaia and how I can connect and work in collaboration with the world around me with sacred intention. My biggest takeaway is now I am connected to source and feel a huge responsibility to respectfully honor my sacred indigenous lineage. The #1 thing I will remember from working with Michelle is making intention and consciousness top of mind with everything I do. I have guidance all around me and now I know it’s possible to ask for that guidance. I recommend this course for anyone who wants to connect to our ancestral roots and become more personally conscious of our responsibility as stewards of this land. Michelle has an incredibly special talent she has been called to share. Her insight and sacred approach is incredibly inspiring. I’ve grown to trust her guidance and approach to honoring the land and ancestry at a very high level. Beautiful soul!"
— Concetta C. Healer. Salem, OR

Sacred Ecology will be back in summer of 2024! If you missed it this time around and want first dibs when I open registration next year, reply to this email and say "I want first dibs!"

In the meantime, here are a few other ways to work with me:

• 1 on 1 mentorship: ongoing enrollment. Totally personalized, high-level individual support for you and your unique spiritual path. Ideal for practitioners who want support with skill development in energetic mastery, healership and mediumship, and for spiritual seekers who want tailored support for their personal journey. Submit an application here to get the ball rolling.

• I AM Alchemy course: begins March 2024. Year-long apprenticeship training for soul-aligned seekers. Receive profound training in practical applications of spiritual techniques, ritual, magic and ceremony that will have a material, measurable effect on your life, your practice and the world. Course admission by application and interview only. Applications open in November. Get on the wait list here.

• Sacred Amazonian Plant Medicine: monthly ceremonies. Sign up here to receive calendar updates and invitations.

Study the Mystery.
Practice Transformation.
Actualize Radiance.

Get Support:

Are you ready for practical support for your spiritual journey?

Book a call with me to talk about what type of support is right for you.

Most spiritual practice is like cleaning your house

Most spiritual work is like cleaning your house.

It’s mundane, but very necessary, and things get really yucky when you don’t do it.

If you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about this before. Yes, it’s time for another article about how spiritual practice is actually very unglamorous, contrary to a lot of what you might see on social media.

And friends: that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful, meaningful, powerful, miraculous and life-affirming. It is all of those things, and more.

But on the day-to-day basis, spiritual practice is more like cleaning the toilet.

Imagine you didn’t regularly clean your house. I am pretty sure every single one of us has gone too long without vacuuming at some point in our lives, so we all know the feeling. You get used to the piles of paper, the dust bunnies in the corners and the scuzz in the sink.

And then, a guest is coming over! Time to recycle all the junk mail. Time to vacuum up the pet hair and scrub the gunk.

And wow, it feels great. The sink is so shiny. The counters are clear. Your socks are no longer covered in pet hair because the floors are clean.

Cleaning your house feels way more dramatic and miraculous if you don’t do it often.

Spiritual practice feels way more dramatic and miraculous if you don’t do it often.

If you only clean your toilet once a year, it is going to feel like a f*ing revelation when you finally do.

If you clean your toilet before it actually gets yucky, it is going to feel sort of mundane and potentially unnecessary.

If you don’t have a consistent and regular spiritual practice, the moments when you do tap in and connect are going to feel like the clouds parting, a beam of sunlight illuminating your vision as a choir of angels serenades you with your favorite song.

If you do have a regular and consistent spiritual practice, you will probably reach a point where it feels boring and potentially unnecessary, because it is working so well.

One of the most significant benefits of spiritual practice is helping you be regulated and stable in your life, no matter what. This sounds super unglamorous, but I promise it’s easy to regulate your energy when things are going well and a whole lot more difficult to do so when shit hits the fan.

When things go sideways, as they do for every single one of us, your spiritual practice will help you maintain your inner equanimity.

Your spiritual practice will help you not lash out from hurt feelings or anger.

Your spiritual practice will help you process your grief.

Your spiritual practice will help you find joy and hope in the darkest moments.

Your spiritual practice will help you be kind to yourself and others, even when it’s more convenient to be unkind.

Your spiritual practice will help ground you and keep you from dissociating when you feel overwhelmed.

Your spiritual practice will help you access your intuition and inner wisdom when you feel lost.

Your spiritual practice will help you love, even when you’re hurting.

Your spiritual practice will help you tune in to the wisdom of your body when you need healing.

And yes, your regular and consistent spiritual practice will help you connect with high-vibration divine beings, have transcendent epiphanies and receive cosmic downloads. Your spiritual practice will help you sing songs to the spirits, experience magic and synchronicity, expand in love and joy, and feel more connection and beauty than you ever thought possible.

But the most beneficial support your spiritual practice can offer you is to help you be more at home in yourself and present in your life, which will make the biggest difference when you need it most.

Healing Through the Timeline: Trauma, Ancestors and a New Earth

You may have heard me mention a “shitty breakup” that took place last fall. In fact, the nightmare of those four days took place exactly six months ago this past weekend.

To give you a little bit of context, my ex and I were together for two years. There was a lot about our relationship that was really good and loving, but we simply weren’t right for each other. We “officially” broke up last summer, but continued for all intents and purposes to be in each other’s lives as partners because we loved each other so much. So of course, I was fully invested in supporting her with her big annual event: a four-day in-residence retreat in September.

The specifics of what happened at that event are not important for this story. All you need to know is that my partner of two years broke my trust more hurtfully than I ever thought possible, in a way that was completely out of integrity at every turn. Even worse, this betrayal took place during a time when I put everything else aside to help her and support her vision. Even worse still, I was stuck at this event for four days in a leadership role. I couldn’t leave, as I was responsible for her event attendees. My only option for external support was two other staffers who knew what was going on and helped me hold it together in front of 60+ people. During that time, I called deeply upon my own reserves of resilience and self-love. All you need to know is that those were four of the most challenging days of my life, and I’ve been healing and processing the resulting lessons and trauma in waves for the last six months.

Please understand, I’m in a good place now. In fact, I’m super impressed with myself and the amazing healing work I’ve done. (Self-hug. Good job, Michelle!) Overall, I have grown into a much healthier, more vibrant and alive place than I’ve been in a long time. And even though that challenging experience gave rise to so much growth and goodness, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard as f***. Even six months later, I still have the occasional wave of trauma echoes rolling through, and I get to roll up my sleeves and practice grace and compassion.

One such wave came through in a big way last week, and it's directly related to that powerful Full Moon. (Did you see it coming up huge and orange the other night???)

I felt “off” all day Thursday and Friday. I felt tender, reactive, volatile and like my energy was blocked. I did my practices, canceled everything that wasn’t important and took care of myself because I could tell something big was ready to shift.

On Friday night, I woke up promptly a few minutes before 3am. (The time period of 3-5am is when a lot of energy healing and psychic activity takes place. Usually I’ll wake up at that time if there’s deep healing work to be done, or Spirit really wants my attention.) Instead of feeling exasperated or resentful as I sometimes do when nudged awake at this hour, I asked with calm curiosity, “What do you want me to know?”

Immediately, I knew that I was being haunted. I rarely use that term, but the word “haunted” popped unmistakably into my mind, and I felt a lingering energy present with me. I asked if I was being haunted by my ex. “Not exactly.” I felt some of her energy but it didn’t feel like her, specifically. I asked if I was being haunted by anyone or anything else. “No.”

Then I saw a vision of myself from six months ago, and I realized that I was being haunted by this past version of myself. I looked awful. The energy around me was sharp, hot and fragmented, like shattered glass. I also felt a lot of wetness (grief is a very “wet” emotional energy). This version of me from the past looked enraged, on the verge of tears, and ready to explode. In other words, I saw myself as I felt during those four days.

I maintained the feeling of calm curiosity as I surrounded this vision of myself with love and compassion. As I soothed this Self, I was transported back to the event. I saw my Current Self standing next to my Past Self. I saw my Current Self at times literally with my hands on my shoulders from behind, offering love and support to my Past Self. I literally had my own back. I watched myself walk by my own side through every trauma of those four days. My Current Self held my Past Self as I sobbed in rage and grief. I got to relive one of the most hurtful experiences of my life from the perspective of six months down the road, knowing that I am whole and illuminated on the other side of this challenge. I got to support my Past Self from a place of empowerment, grace and feeling secure in my own health, well-being and aliveness. Instead of simply remembering the event as my Past Self, I got to re-experience it with my Past Self, with all the perspective and grace of my current reality. And it felt completely different.

Take a moment and let this sink in: I got to retroactively go back and offer myself healing through the timeline (Energetic Principle #1, above). Read on.

When I think about my lived experience of the event, I remember how supported I felt, even in the midst of four of the worst days of my life. Despite the devastating feeling of betrayal and horrible disillusionment, despite feeling bitter, trapped and alone, I remember feeling almost surprised at how much loving energy I felt around me. I remember several moments when I looked around and almost laughed at the astonishing juxtaposition: on one hand, a key area of my life was actively falling apart in irreparable damage. On the other, I felt more connected, supported and loved than I had any logical reason to feel.

I know now that, during the event, the support I felt was coming not only from my Guides and Teachers (as I thought at the time), but also from my Current Self offering healing that positively impacted my past experience (Energetic Principle #2, above). Read on.

Two of these moments in particular stand out:

On Saturday night after the main event of the evening, I made my way back to the staff house I shared with my partner. I didn’t even know if she would come back that night, or if she would find somewhere else to stay. Regardless, I felt sickened, physically nauseated and shaking from head to toe. Then the weirdest sensation came over me, and I watched as my hands started packing up all my things. Literally, that’s what it felt like. I didn’t consciously make the decision, but somehow my body was moving as if someone else had taken control and was telling it what to do. I watched my body move calmly around the space and was fascinated at the precise care and assuredness my hands exhibited, while my heart and mind felt anything but calm. At the time, I simply marveled at the feeling and let it happen.

The other night as I lay in bed and watched this vision, I saw my Current Self packing up my things at the event. I watched myself calmly and firmly guide my Past Self to take the necessary steps to remove myself from further harm, just as I would guide a friend or client in the middle of a traumatic situation. What I experienced in the moment at the event was my Current Self directing my movements, during a time when I was incapable of making grounded decisions and taking empowered action. Just like my friend describing the car accident, I experienced the visceral feeling of receiving my own, retroactive healing during the traumatic moment itself.

The other big moment of healing I experienced directly while at the event took place that night as I lay awake in a fiery rage. After wandering around and finding absolutely no available beds (short of dragging a mattress into the van), I had decided to sleep on a narrow cot in the next room, rather than stay one more second in a bed I had shared with my partner. I lay seething, wracked with grief and rage in equal measure, and used my breath to open my channels and allow the energy to flow. Suddenly, I was overcome with bliss. I didn’t consciously understand it, but I knew somehow that I had shifted out of the raw pain and into the pure life force at its core. I didn’t question it, I simply let myself dissolve in that bliss and be revitalized by it.

The other night as I watched this vision, I saw my Current Self kneeling beside the cot, placing my hands on my Past Self and offering all the healing love and compassion in my heart. And I saw the practices and intention I had at the time combine with and respond to this healing through the timeline. In the past, I experienced it as an inexplicable gratitude and euphoria. But now I know that I was able to retroactively heal and alter my lived experience of an incredibly traumatic circumstance. I felt healing take place the other night as I offered love to myself in the past, and I felt healing even while at the event, as I received love and blessings from myself in the future.

When I eventually did go back to sleep the other night, I knew that some profound healing work had taken place. Indeed, the next several days have felt much lighter and clearer.
 

TAKEAWAYS:

(If you decided to skip ahead, resume reading here.)

• I was guided by Spirit to offer healing energy to a past situation, and it worked.

• I experienced a profound and immediate relief by offering healing energy through the timeline. I feel the effects of this healing not only in my current reality, but I also experienced the benefits during the traumatic incident itself.

• As citizens of Earth and Lightworkers on this planet, we all received a powerful Priest/ess activation from the Virgo Full Moon. We are all being prompted and activated to offer healing energy throughout the timeline for the benefit of All Beings.

• As we are empowered Creators building a New Earth, we have the opportunity to offer healing to our ancestors, to our own past lives, to our descendants and to the future of Earth.

• It is vitally important that we use this Sacred Work to offer healing through the timeline, not only to clear and heal trauma from the past, but also to set the course for our future, personally and collectively.

• At a time of tremendous uncertainty and fear, a lot of people are asking, “What’s going to happen?” Friends, we answer that question every day with our choices, our prayers, our words and our actions. Instead of asking what the future holds, part of the Priest/ess path is the Sacred Work of anchoring in the frequency of harmonious alignment, joy, peace and right relation that spans throughout the timeline. The Sacred Work is to lovingly guide our planet and all beings to live in alignment with frequency, and create a New Earth in that vision.

  Get Support:

  Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?
  
  Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1! Check out the details and submit your application here.

Practice Prompts For You:

(This is a new style so I'm open to feedback on this variation of Practice Prompt--let me know how you like it! One prompt each for ceremony, journaling, movement, discussion and inspired action.)

Ceremony: Hold a Full Moon ritual for yourself (if you haven’t already)

Journal: What is my Sacred Work?

Move: Ask your body how it wants to feel, move and express your Sacred Work. Dance, roll, stretch, walk it out.

Discuss: With a friend/family/community member, talk about the concept of healing through the timeline. What past challenges and traumas would you like to heal for yourself and for the planet? What future healing would you like to see for yourself and for everyone?

Act: What ONE inspired action step can you take TODAY to move in this direction?

Get Support: Are you ready to step fully into your Embodied, Wild Self and offer powerful healing throughout the timeline, for the benefit of All Beings?

Apply now for Embody Wild™ 1:1!

What energy and emotion is stuck in your body?

We all know that being in our bodies is a good thing, and physical practice is important. But have you ever wondered exactly WHY embodiment and movement practice is absolutely essential to our energetic and emotional health and well-being?

Today, let's look at one really important reason that has to do with hidden, trapped emotion and energy.

Any physical structure is encoded with the energetic frequency of its creation. Think about examples in your life or things we see in the world: if you're trying to work on a creative project but you're in a bad mood, your art will show it. Many women who are pregnant will go out of their way to surround themselves with positive music, art, jokes and loving messages so that their babies will grow with these energies. In Like Water for Chocolate (one of my favorite Latin American magical realism novels), the main character fills whatever food she's making with the essence of her emotion in the moment, and people experience that emotion when they eat the food. In other words, we can experience the energy that was involved in the creation process of a physical structure, even after the structure is "finished." Energy sticks around.

The same goes for the physical structures within our bodies: we are constantly forming and breaking down our cellular structure. In fact, the average adult human body creates over 200 billion new cells per day!

And each of those 200+ billion cells is encoded with your unique energetic and emotional frequency at the time.

"Wait, Michelle, that means if I'm feeling anger, grief, bitterness, depression, or anything else, that this emotional frequency is literally built into the physical structure of my body?"

Yes, it does! But don't worry, there are lots of ways to work with this. You're all good. Keep reading.

Instead of shaming ourselves or launching into a worry spiral (which will only create more of these stress-cells), let's gather some more information:

1. Humans are infinitely complex beings composed of myriad energies. Having some cells in your body that are encoded to "negative" emotions or energies does not mean that you as a holistic being are stuck in that energy.

2. In addition to building cells every day, our bodies also break down cells every day.

3. Our bodies are a holistic community of frequencies that resonate together, and it is possible to change the vibration of a physical structure by surrounding it with a higher-vibration frequency.

What does this mean? Let's apply our points to an example:

Imagine that you went through some really hard stuff last year. (I know I did--2019 was rough for a lot of people!) Maybe you lost a loved one, maybe you separated from your partner, maybe there were just a lot of smaller crappy things that felt like they really wore you down. You did your best at the time, but it was really hard. You felt angry, you grieved, you felt bitter, you felt all sorts of uncomfortable things. But you did it! You made it through and you can start to see the light again. Maybe the circumstances haven't changed, but you've come to a slightly better place about it, and now you're looking ahead at your healing and rebirth.

Your body built a lot of cellular structure during that time, on the order of trillions of cells. That's a lot of physical structure holding the energy of anger, grief, bitterness and other stuff. But remember:

1. You are an infinitely complex being. Even though your body might hold trillions of these cells encoded to anger and grief, your body also holds lots of cells encoded to other frequencies like joy, love and empowerment. There are people who dwell in that anger, grief and bitterness, and the proportion of their cellular structure is skewed accordingly. It doesn't mean they can't make a change, it'll just take more time and conscientious effort.

2. In addition to building all those trillions of "sad cells," your body also broke some of them down.

3. Your body is a collaborative community of cells that communicate with each other and adjust their frequencies for a harmonious collective reality. This means that some of your "sad cells" are interacting with "happy cells," and their vibration is shifting to align with these healthier frequencies.

"But what about those hidden, trapped emotions you mentioned earlier? I still feel those energies in my physical body."

Right. That's a thing for sure. Even though the body has lots of mechanisms to heal itself, it needs some directed support and practice in order to make bigger changes.

Your body needs intentional, proactive, embodied practice to break down hidden, trapped emotions and unhealthy cellular structure, and rebuild new cells that hold the frequencies of health, joy and vitality.

Sitting on the meditation cushion and doing forgiveness practices is not enough. Yes, it's important to work in the realm of consciousness, but until it actually lands in the body, it's not a full transformation.

Doing a "workout" is not enough. Going for a run or going to the gym to mentally check out and listen to a podcast or think about all your stressors isn't helping to cleanse those frequencies from the body.

What is the solution to releasing hidden, trapped emotion and "negative" energetic frequencies from our physical structures?

The best way to release hidden, trapped emotion and "negative" energies from the body is to cultivate your embodied awareness and practice, in order to bring all the magic and love of your pure Soul essence into your physical structures.

This will allow you to:

• Ensure that your body is built with more intentional, healthy and vibrant cells than "sad" ones

• Express your pure energetic Soul essence on the physical plane

• Live with more connection, freedom and personal power than ever before

• Intentionally send your awareness into your body to cultivate health and vitality

• Feel strong, empowered, confident and fully alive

• Go from feeling stuck, ungrounded and disconnected, to fully present, aligned and resourced

• Experience more pleasure, connection, vitality, peace and safety than ever before

When you do this, it means that your holistic physical structures will hold a higher vibration that will affect every other area of your life. It will improve your overall sense of well-being, your relationships, your career, your energetic practice, your community involvement--EVERY area of your life. No joke.

Are you ready to fully release hidden, trapped emotion and energy from your cells in order to live a fully Embodied, empowered life?

Apply now for Embody Wild!

What would be possible for you if you released all the hidden, trapped emotion and energy in your body?

Scroll down for a practice prompt from me!

Many blessings,

Questions to meditate/journal on:

What hidden, trapped emotions and energies are stuck in my body? Where do I notice them? What do they feel like?

What does this area of my body want to feel instead? What would embodying that new energy make available to me?

You did not come here to be a spiritual being.

You did not come here to be a spiritual being.

You already have access to all the mysteries and all knowledge. You are already connected to the infinite, the Divine, the whole perfection of Source.

Your soul is already perfect.

But you did not come here for that. You came to Earth for something else.

You came to Earth not to live as a spiritual being, but as an Embodied one.

You made the choice, long before you were born, to actualize your consciousness into a body on this beautiful, unique planet. You chose to gift yourself the experience of a lifetime on Earth, in this beautiful, unique body. You chose to embody a new form, born as a soft and tender animal, and explore this physical plane through your beautiful, unique life.

So why aren’t you living fully in your body?

I promise, you’re not alone. Most other humans aren’t fully embodied, either.

Most people are living their lives checked out of their bodies. Maybe they’re up in their head all the time, maybe they’re using spiritual practice as an escape from Earthly life, maybe they use crutches like Netflix, food, alcohol, sex, drugs, shopping, social media, being busy, their careers, the news, drama—anything to avoid being fully present within their own bodies. Anything to dilute and distract themselves.

I get it. I didn’t fully land in my Earth body until my early 20s. But I’ll tell you that story another time.

You might be wondering, “So? What’s the problem? Earth is hard. My life is busy. Why should I care about being Embodied?”

Oh, my dear human friend, you can’t afford NOT to care. None of us can.

You see, common understanding (and societal conditioning) tells us that human bodies are machines to be exercised and fed according to numbers and formulas. It tells us that bodies are prone to sickness and need medications to be normal. It tells us that we need to cover them up with fashionable items and that some bodies are more attractive and worthy than others. It tells us that our bodies are primitive—merely houses for the true power of the mind, heart and soul. Common understanding would have us believe that the body is the least important, least powerful aspect of our existence.

All of this could not be farther from the truth.

Friend, your body is a miracle. Your body is a perfect child of Earth. Your body is a powerful, magical animal that holds all the power and wisdom of Gaia within each cell.

Living fully in your body is the key to your own liberation.

Fully inhabiting your body will give you more power, life force, vitality, trust, creativity and pleasure than you ever imagined.

What would be possible for you if you had full, uninhibited access to expressing the most wild, free, untamed, powerful parts of yourself? What would be different in your life, in the lives of your loved ones, and in the world if you were to embody your own, wild nature?

Are you ready to join me in the Embody Wild™ movement? Apply here

Many blessings,

“The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: the body is a business.
The Body says: I am a fiesta.”

― Eduardo Galeano, Walking Words

You don't actually want exercise, you want this instead

Have you ever thought, "I need to exercise more," or set a workout goal for yourself, that you never seem to get around to? Or maybe you start strong and go to the gym a few times, then something comes up and you never go again. Or perhaps you keep working out because you' know you should," but it feels unfulfilling. Or maybe you have a very dedicated physical practice that you enjoy, but it seems like something's missing.

What if I told you that the thing you needed and truly desired wasn't exercise at all? What if I told you that there's a reason your workouts feel unfulfilling, you find it hard to stay consistent, and moving your body feels like an obligation? What, then, do you actually desire?

The thing you're actually craving is true embodiment: a deeper sense of connection to the wild animal of your body, and your own cellular intelligence.

To embody: to express, to inhabit, to make tangible, to live, to anchor.

Unfortunately, most people on the planet aren't actually fully embodied. Many people live in some state of disassociation pretty much all of the time. Not being fully embodied can mean that someone's higher self isn't fully grounded into the Earth plane and their energy bodies aren't fully engaged with the physical body.

Not being fully embodied can look like being in your head all the time, feeling unsafe and anxious, greater tendency towards overwhelm and depression, difficulty making decisions, heightened emotional reactivity, easily influenced by outside energy and opinions, chronic health challenges, self doubt, lack of confidence, difficulty interfacing with other people, challenges with money, feeling "checked out" or disconnected, easily exhausted/depleted, addictive tendencies... the list goes on. All of these to varying degrees, of course. I invite you to take a look at this list and notice what areas you experience, and to what extent. If any (or many) of these resonate with you, you're not alone. And there is a very simple solution!

There are so, so many reasons why someone may not be fully embodied, I'm not even going to go there for now. That's a topic for another time.

No matter the reason, we live in a world where most people are not fully embodied, and this is not common knowledge. In general, people don't even know that this is a thing. They just know (consciously or subconsciously) that it feels like something is missing from their lives, and their solution usually comes either in the form of numbing out and avoiding it, or trying to address it with some attempt at landing more fully in the body: exercise, sex, food, etc. (Since we're at the beginning of the year, let's look at exercise, as this is a big resolution theme.)

There's a big difference between "exercise" and "embodiment." One moves your body through some activities, and the other one gives you the kind of power, vitality and confidence you're actually looking for. One treats the body like a machine, and the other recognizes that the body is a sentient, powerful being with unique cellular intelligence and innate wisdom. One is a "should," and the other is a "must."

Don't get me wrong--there is absolutely some intersection between the two! True embodiment practices can include intense training, but an embodiment practice might also be snuggling with an animal.

An embodiment practice is something that helps you consciously connect more fully to the physical body and ground the Higher Self and energy bodies into the Earth plane for their full expression through form.

When you are fully embodied, an entirely different way of being becomes available to you. Instead of being in your head all the time,  anxious and unsafe, you'll feel grounded, calm and resourced. Instead of being reactive, easily swayed and challenged making decisions, you'll feel attuned, confident and centered in your Self. Instead of difficulty with money, people and other Earth-plane realities, you'll feel more trusting, more supportive, open to connection and flow. Instead of feeling depleted and needing to check out, you'll discover new strength and vitality, and abundant capacity for connection.

Embodiment is the key to freedom: the missing piece that will help you fully inhabit and express your own, untamed, original nature. Being fully embodied will help you show up more than ever for your wild and precious life.

Are you ready?

There are so many ways to practice embodiment, and I would love to invite you to experience one such practice with me!

Embody Wild: to fully live and express your original, pure, untamed nature.

Are you tired of being in your head all the time? Do you have an energetic/spiritual practice, but feel like it's not translating into your 3D experience? Do you feel stuck, stagnant, unsure, ungrounded, fed up and bored?

Are you ready to have full access to your Wild, powerful self?

Join me for Embody Wild!

Many blessings,

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves."

~Mary Oliver

Why you probably don't have an entity (and no one is attacking you)

I have learned to never be surprised by the shit people tell me, or by people contacting me out of the blue with some truly wild stories. Seriously—my email is a fascinating read. I regularly receive messages from random people that range from two sentences to a few pages long, and most of these emails include the person’s assumption that they have picked up a harmful entity, and/or someone or something is attacking them. Occasionally, people request an exorcism.

My response to these people varies, depending on the level of wackadoo in the email. I will usually offer support in the form of resources and practices to ground and strengthen the field. (I tell them, “go watch this podcast episode, do these practices for a week and then let me know how you’re doing.”) If the person seems relatively grounded and stable, I may invite them to do some sessions with me.

Interestingly, the people that I give practices to never circle back around with me. Seriously. Not once. This astonishes me, because in my mind, if I thought I had an entity and a Shaman told me to do something to support my system, I would do exactly what they told me.

Of the people I have worked with who came in thinking they had entities, attachments or were being attacked by someone or something, care to guess how many actually did?

Answer: a small handful.

In other words, over the 15+ years that I’ve been studying and practicing Shamanism and healing work, the percentage of people who think they have an entity or are being attacked, who ACTUALLY have an entity or are being attacked, is tiny. Like, maybe 5%.

So, what’s going on with the other 95%?

Without fail, the other 95% of people do not actually have entities or attachments, and are not being attacked by anyone or anything. Instead, they are feeling their own Shadow, and ascribing their discomfort to something outside of themselves.

Here are a few notable examples:

1. Several years ago, a woman contacted me about getting an exorcism for her 8-year-old granddaughter. She described the situation and I tuned into the field. Did the granddaughter have an entity? Answer: no. She was just being an 8-year-old and processing a lot of trauma in the only way she knew how—by screaming, acting out and going from zero to tantrum at the drop of a hat. I offered healing work (not an exorcism) and the woman said no. I believe she went on to have her granddaughter exorcised by a priest. (Cringe.)

2. Last year, a client came to me who thought he had entities that were making him tired and depressed. Did he? Answer: no. He was processing his own Shadow and metabolizing energy on behalf of his lineage. We did some very powerful healing sessions that released ancestral trauma, rewrote some unhealthy soul contracts and supported him in stepping into his empowered soul work and purpose.

3. Recently, my ex asked me if I was “sending her bad juju.” When I asked for clarification, she said she felt a lot of bad energy coming from me and was physically afraid for her safety. She thought I was attacking her. Was I? Answer: of course not. The fact that she thought I would further illustrated the wisdom of that separation. What was actually happening? She was most likely processing her Shadow and pain body magnified by our breakup.

4. A while ago, a woman reached out about her son. She was concerned for his health, and thought that he might have an entity or attachment. It turns out that the boy’s father had died in a bad way and that the boy had been the one to find him. Did he have an attachment? Answer: in this case, yes. The father’s spirit had attached to the boy.

These are only a few examples, but my god, people! The level of story-making blows my mind. Why do people so quickly jump to the conclusion that they have an entity, or that someone or something is attacking them? How did this become a thing?

I have a few thoughts on this:

1. Generally speaking, most people don’t understand the principle of Shadow or Shadow Work. For our purposes in Shamanic and Alchemical philosophy, the Shadow is “that which is unseen or unintegrated.” If people are confronted with their Shadow, it’s probably something they’ve been avoiding and it makes them uncomfortable.

2. If people aren’t used to being uncomfortable, they will try to explain their discomfort by assuming something is wrong, rather than “I’m processing trauma” or “I feel really bad about my decisions” or “I’m learning some really hard lessons right now,” and letting that be okay.

3. Projecting the discomfort to an external source means that people don’t have to take responsibility for it. If they’re not ready to own the energy and actually move through it, it’s a lot easier to blame their off-ness on an entity or an attack.

4. If people think there is an external source to blame, it means they get to be a victim, and they don’t actually have to change themselves or their behavior. Instead of looking at how they are creating or contributing to this experience, people think that the problem to be fixed is simply getting rid of the entity or stopping the attack.

5. Pop culture has glorified and misrepresented possession, entities, psychic attacks and all sorts of other bullshit. Yes, all of these things do exist. Yes, it is possible to be possessed, to have an entity or attachment, and energetic attack is totally a thing. However, it is not the most LIKELY explanation. Far more likely is the Shadow Work explanation. Occam’s razor, people: the simplest solution is probably the correct one.

The next time you’re moving through some uncomfortable energy and wondering if you have an entity or are being attacked… stop. It’s probably just your own Shadow. Here’s what to do:

1. Regulate your energy. Use energetic and physical practices to clear, ground, cultivate and protect your field. If you don’t know any of these techniques, tune in to my podcast, Shaman Sister Sessions. Katherine Bird and I offer lots of tools and practices.

2. Once you’ve regulated your field, assess how you’re doing. Ask yourself some guiding questions to learn more about your experience. Examples include:

   • What energy is moving through me?

   • What part of me is asking to be seen?

   • What am I getting out of this experience?

   • What part of me is asking to change or transform?

3. If you still need help, contact me! Yes, I know how to do exorcisms, but you probably don’t need one. Instead, we would most likely work on supporting your field, metabolizing unprocessed energy, healing trauma, actualizing your purpose and bringing you into your fullest, most empowered expression in the world. Isn’t that more fun than an exorcism?

When these people who contact me choose to show up and work with the Shadow, the results are incredibly powerful. Imagine consciously and lovingly working with the unseen and unintegrated parts of yourself to bring them into a harmonious state. Wouldn’t you love to give yourself that gift? Instead of keeping it surface level and assuming that someone or something else is to blame for your experience, imagine taking empowered agency for your process and transmuting your own Shadow.

Special sneak peek: new Shaman Sister Sessions episode comes out on Thursday! Episodes #92 and #93 are both about Entities, Attachments and Psychic Attacks. Episode #92 continues this conversation about why you probably don’t have an entity. Episode #93 talks about what to do if you do have an energetic attachment. Want access to the episodes? Join Lightworker Portal—the FREE community I created just for you! Get instant access to all the content archives.

Whether you have an entity or not (let’s face it: probably not) the opportunity for you is the same: to transmute your Shadow, to master your energy and to embody your fully empowered sovereignty. Regardless of how you choose to learn this lesson, your own Soul is inviting you to be more powerful and compassionate, and live with more grace than ever before.

This is true Alchemy.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, it's because your Soul is giving you the keys to your own actualization. Even though the energy may feel dense, heavy, insurmountable and incredibly painful, it is this same energy that will liberate you. This is your own personal lead--the heavy base metal that you get to transform into Gold. Your Soul is calling you to step up and alchemize your Shadow into your greatest Light. Your Soul is asking you to alchemize your pain into joy. Your Soul is inviting you to alchemize your grief, your anger, your suffering into grace, compassion and peace.

If you’re ready to say YES to your Soul, I’m here to help.

Do you want to…

• …go from feeling like you’re living at the whims of change, to intentionally choosing your own path of transformation and creation?

• …have a roadmap to guide you through the hardest transformational moments of your life?

• …learn tools and practices that will immediately and noticeably enhance your vitality, health, energy and well-being?

• …know without a shadow of a doubt that you are living your life “on purpose?”

• …feel connected to something bigger than yourself? Do you want to commune with Spirit through this ancient and powerful lineage?

• …use these powerful tools to support loved ones, clients and your community in their journey of transformation and actualization?

Applications are now open for Embody-Wild that will help you heal your Shadow.



Check out all the details here.

Many Blessings,

Practice prompt:

Get comfortable sitting with your Shadow body. Rather than dismissing or avoiding it, practice asking questions like:

• What energy is moving through me?

• What part of me is asking to be seen?

• What am I getting out of this experience?

• What part of me is asking to change or transform?

WARNING: Calling major bullshit on marketing and the path of Self-Actualization

THIS  COMMON  PSYCHOLOGICAL  PRINCIPLE  YOU  HAVE  PROBABLY  NEVER  HEARD  OF  IS  KILLING  YOU.

Just kidding! But you've probably seen headlines and marketing like that, right? That's because most marketing uses aforementioned common psychological principle to attack base-level human needs. This principle is known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and today, I'm going to share with you:

1. My utter disdain for traditional marketing (barf)

2. How Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and its implications are actually a huge detriment to our individual and collective human experience (actually, it may even be killing us)

3. How you can re-interpret this principle to help you make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get your dream job (but not in the way you think, haha)

Let's have a look at this silly principle. Maybe you’ve heard of the Hierarchy of Needs before, or seen a graphic like this one:

I see this concept tossed around most commonly in the context of marketing. If you also hang around with entrepreneurs, I’m guessing you’ve encountered this, too. The advice I hear from business and marketing coaches always seems to be the same: “Find the universal need that your service provides for people and speak to that.” Usually, this means, “Tell potential clients how your service can help them make more money, have more free time, have better sex and get their dream job.” Ever notice how much coach-y and personal development programs focus on this in their marketing? If you haven’t yet, just keep an eye out and you’ll see what I mean.

This is where I take huge issue not only with “spiritual business coaches” (BARF) and marketing to these base-level needs, but also with the Hierarchy of Needs itself (and the way in which this plays out in social norms and expectations of the collective consciousness). How are we supposed to evolve as a global community if this is our psychological conditioning?

Let’s examine this graphic. This food-pyramid-esque image would lead one to believe that the most vital needs are physiological (I’m on board so far), but as we move up the pyramid, we notice that Self-Actualization occupies the little tiny triangle on top. In between are Safety (health, money, home), Love and Belonging (family, connection, community), and Esteem (respect, status, recognition). That’s where I take issue.

Based on the organization of this hierarchy, we can assume that the need of Self-Actualization can only be fulfilled once all tiers below it are fulfilled, and that needs should be addressed in ascending order.

This is total bullshit.

What happens if we treat Self-Actualization as conditional upon all these other things? What are we costing ourselves by saving it for last?

What people don’t understand is that Self-Actualization will help you satisfy all those other needs, and in a more authentic and fulfilling way. Maslow has it backwards.

Let’s look at a re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Here, I re-imagined it from two perspectives: Shadow (unactualized) and Light (actualized). What do you notice about the Shadow and Light manifestations of these needs?

Let's look at an example "Shadow" life trajectory of someone who pursues these needs in a linear fashion, as indicated by Maslow's hierarchy.

Imagine this: someone spends the first thirty years of their life working their butt off to get a good job (Safety), gets married and has two kids before age 35 (Love and Belonging) and finally succeeds in getting promoted to the C-suite (Esteem). They then look around at their life for meaning, have an existential crisis because they don’t know who they are as a person, quit their job, divorce their spouse and go on a quest to “find themselves.” (Think I’m exaggerating? I can name a dozen personal acquaintances and clients off the top of my head who have lived some version of this story. I bet you know at least one person who has had this experience.)

Now you might be thinking, “Michelle, this perspective applies to a fairly privileged subset of society. What about other types of people?” Let’s look at this play out for someone else:

Imagine that our second person grew up in an unstable home environment. They live in an underserved community but they do their best to try to make sure their family has somewhere to live (Safety). Maybe they find community in the form of a gang or an abusive partner (Love and Belonging). They have a child before the age of 20, they struggle with substance abuse but they manage to hold it together enough to make ends meet and eventually secure a decent job (Esteem). …until it all comes crashing down around their ears, they think, “I can’t keep living like this,” have an existential crisis and lose everything. (Yes, I have had some of these people as my clients as well.)

Regardless of the path they took to get there, by the time these people find me, they are often in some state of desperation or dire straits in regards to their personal life path and purpose. They desire depth, meaning and fulfillment. They want their lives to be an authentic, positive contribution to the world. Above all, they want to come into the full expression of who they are as a whole person. And they know that any of these other external factors (home, relationship, career, reputation) won’t ever be fully whole, healthy and stable until they access the full potential of who they are.

Let's examine a "Light" life trajectory through the hierarchy of needs. Imagine now that both of our example people had had access to the idea of Self-Actualization as the primary question that informed the pursuit of these other needs. (Maybe they learned about it from family, or in school, or through other early influences.) Once the physiological needs are met, the next quests are a simultaneous investigation of Who am I?” (Self-Actualization) and “As I learn who I am, how does that version of myself live in the world?” (Safety). The pursuit of self-knowledge informs the journey to achieve safety, and vice-versa. This self-aware person may then pursue the needs of Love and Belonging as this emerging, whole Self. Then, when they achieve Esteem, it comes not from the place of ego-inflated-self-aggrandizement, but instead from genuine self-respect and integrity. This person has more authentic and healthy relationships, more fulfilling career, more genuine self-image and more potential for continued growth and harmonious existence. (In other words, they probably make more money, have more free time, have better sex and work their dream job.)

Maybe you recognize some part of your own path in these examples. What would have been different for you if you had given Self-Actualization just as much priority as these other needs? What could be different for you moving forward if you made Self-Actualization a true priority?

The problem is, most of us are spoon-fed so much social conditioning that tells us that Self-Actualization is a luxury, when in reality, it is the fundamental question of humanity: to know oneself. Instead of encouraging this investigation, our current social structures try to sell us the illusion of safety, love and status. But anyone who markets to the levels of Safety, Love and Belonging, and Esteem is preying on base-level human psychology. And if I told you that by participating in my I AM Alchemy course you would obtain these things, I would be blowing smoke up your ass. I can’t guarantee that for you, and I wouldn’t want to. No one can promise you that. Anyone who does is lying.

Instead, I can invite you to consider your true needs and motivation. Do you just want to make more money, or do you actually want to make more money by helping people with the true medicine of your own enlivened soul? Do you just want better sex, or do you actually want more authentic intimacy and respect with your partner that comes from knowing yourself deeply as a person, and being able to connect on that level? Do you just want more free time, or do you actually want more intentional space in your life for creating meaningful experiences that will nourish and uplift you and your family? Do you just want the “dream job” that looks good on paper, or do you actually want a career that challenges you to grow as a person, fulfill your life purpose and contribute positively to the planet?

Embody Wild won’t help you make more money, have better sex, have more free time or get your dream job.

But it will help you find out who you really are. It will teach you tools of self-inquiry, mastery and power. It will give you the space and freedom to discover the magic of your own soul and create your life according to the blueprint of your fully actualized Self.

Embody Wild is not a course for results-oriented people who want instant gratification. Embody Wild is instead a course for those who understand that there are no shortcuts to self-actualization, but that once you embark on this path, the world opens up before you and anything is possible. Embody Wild is for those who are ready to prioritize their own journey of meaning. Embody Wild won’t give you the answer to those other levels of need, but it will show you how to create it for yourself.

...and applications for Embody Wild are open now. If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Are you ready for self-actualization, which will give you the keys to everything else?

Many blessings,

Practice prompt:

Let's look again at this re-interpretation of the Hierarchy of Needs. Take a moment to consider your own life path and trajectory.

Without judgement, what do you notice about yourself and your patterns? How are you engaging with the Shadow and Light interpretations of these needs? What does that mean for your process of Self Actualization? Where do you see yourself in each of these areas?

Part of me was afraid to go to Avalon, and now I know why (plus pictures!)

I returned 90 days ago from a priestess pilgrimage to Avalon. Since then, in addition to massive growth and activation, my life has been completely upended in a few key areas. For these past three months, I’ve been sitting with rage, grief, betrayal, catharsis, purification, power and resilience.

…which is exactly what I was afraid of.

My first morning in Avalon--I awoke before sunrise with a sense of urgency to go up the Tor (the hill). I practically ran to the top and did qi gong as the sun rose orange and burned off the surrounding mist.

In case you’re not familiar with Avalon, it’s an ancient and sacred site in England, most well known in mythology relating to King Arthur and the Lady of the Lake. The Isle of Avalon corresponds to the contemporary town of Glastonbury, where there are many cherished sacred sites. I had been feeling the Soul Calling to travel to Avalon for well over a year. The circumstances of my trip were about as divinely aligned as one could imagine, and for months preceding my trip, I felt the energy building with power and possibility.

And yet, along with that sense of power and potential came fear. As I journaled in preparation for the pilgrimage, I found myself expressing trepidation and anxiety. The fear I felt wasn’t attached to any particular concern—I knew from my meditations and my guidance that this pilgrimage was part of a series of powerful initiations, and that I would receive incredible activations as part of my journey. But along with the knowledge of the activations that awaited me, a very human survival-level fear lurked in the background.

It’s a lot easier for me to look back now and understand what I felt at the time. As I was preparing to head into this powerful initiation portal, the part of me that felt afraid was the part of me that has been dying since that trip—the part of me that was burned to ash in my rage, dissolved in a pool of grief and slashed by the sharp blade of betrayal. That part has ultimately surrendered to catharsis.

Friend, have you ever experienced a Soul Calling that simultaneously thrilled and terrified you? Have you felt the raw power and potential that awaits you, but known that it comes at the cost of the life you used to lead? Have you known that, as you were choosing your own liberation, you were also choosing your own death?

I spent more time on the Tor than pretty much anywhere else in Avalon. Here I am after another sunrise practice. I also watched a couple of sunsets, went up a handful of times during the day, and twice after sunset to look at the stars.

I also spent a lot of time in the Chalice Well Gardens. This is the Chalice Well itself, which is connected to the Red Spring (one of the sacred springs of Avalon). I did several mornings of qi gong practice by the Lion's Head fountain in the gardens.

This is exactly the nature of the fear that I felt leading up to my trip. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my pilgrimage to Avalon was rooted in pure soul calling and resonance, but that by taking the trip, I would have to finally let go of one of the most significant aspects of my life. I knew that the initiations I received on this journey would offer me more power and freedom than I could consciously understand, but that I would also be choosing the death of my old self.

Friend, it has been a bumpy ride. This particular death cycle has primarily taken the form of an incredibly challenging breakup. The exact details aren’t important for this story, but suffice it to say that I have been witnessing with dumbfounded amazement the perfect shitstorm that is continuing to unfold even as we speak. Every time I think the situation has bottomed out, the bottom drops again.

It. Fucking. Sucks.

…but in addition to the massive suck-age and heartache, I am also present to the cosmic perfection of it all. My former partner and I were together for two years, despite knowing that we weren’t each other’s people. We figured out very early on in our relationship that we wanted different things and had different visions for our lives, but decided to journey together anyway out of our mutual love and appreciation, and the growth that was available to us even as not-forever-partners. We each became the go-to person for the other. We built a life together that was rich, beautiful and fun. We were in love, and it was good.
But it wasn’t right, and we both knew it. In fact, we both knew it for more than a year before we finally separated in September.

Looking back now, I can easily see that the fear I felt before going to Avalon came from the part of me that knew it would not survive the journey. The version of me in the not-right partnership, the life I had built with someone I loved and was unwilling to leave: that was the part that felt afraid and resistant. That part of me knew that the initiations I would receive on the pilgrimage would shift me out of alignment with staying in that relationship. I knew that going to Avalon and walking through that portal would mean the end of that chapter of my life.

And just three short weeks after arriving back from Avalon, it all came crashing down in a non-negotiable, can’t-possibly-ignore, what-the-fuck-is-happening, shitstorm that I have been processing and integrating since the beginning of September.

Even though the aftermath of my Avalon trip looks for all intents and purposes like total destruction, entering that initiation portal was one of the most powerful choices I have ever made, and I have no regrets. Even though it has meant the death of my relationship (along with many other connected parts of my identity and life structure) and the continued processing of uncomfortable feelings and shitty circumstances, I am glad I chose that path. Remember the rage, grief, betrayal and catharsis I mentioned earlier? Even though these energies have challenged me to my core, they have been vitally important to the process, because they gave me the perfect fodder to alchemize into true power and resilience. I am blowing my own mind every day with who I am becoming and what I am capable of.

My group had private access to Stonehenge on the last day of the pilgrimage.

Just as I’m experiencing the 3D “whiplash” in response to massive energetic expansion, this Soul Calling has also paved the way for massive growth in other areas. My energetic mastery, psychic perception and attunement to the subtle levels is off the charts. Aside from the relationship blowup, my return from Avalon has included many creative and fruitful projects. I have also begun to refine my work with Dragons and work with higher-vibration practices. My physical body feels more healthy and vital, my community connections are flourishing and I have been invited to share my work in new and exciting places.

I have shared very little about my Avalon trip (it’s obviously still landing and integrating), but it felt important to share with you about the ripple effects of an activation experience. (Side note: did you catch the episode of Shaman Sister Sessions that went out two weeks ago? It was about Soul Activations, and it is directly related to our topic for today. Check it out here.) In particular, I wanted to share this with you because I know I’m not alone when it comes to feeling fear around a soul calling.

Friend, I bet you can relate. Maybe you’ve had an experience like mine, where you feel the power and potential leading up to an initiation experience, knowing that part of you will die in the process, but you choose it anyway. Or maybe you have felt the power and potential emanating from a soul calling, but you haven’t answered it because the cost seems too great. Maybe you’re afraid to let that part of yourself die, so you have yet to step through the initiation portal that awaits you.

I am here to tell you that you will be okay. I promise. It might not seem like it, and believe me, I’ve heard all the objections. Their Soul Calling will lead them to this lineage and body of knowledge, but when it comes time to commit to their journey, their hidden fears come up. When we dig deeper and finally get to the root of it, they say things like, “I’m afraid my marriage won’t survive,” or, “I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends and family because they won’t understand me,” or, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep putting up with what I have been tolerating,” or, “I’m afraid because I don’t know who I’ll be if I say yes to that level of growth.” Essentially, all of these people fear the same thing: the death of their old Self.

What about you? What Soul Calling is inviting you to step through a powerful initiation portal, and at what cost? What liberation, power and potential awaits you as you surrender your past self to death?

Are you willing to let yourself die in order to grow and be reborn? Are you willing to shift out of alignment with everything that doesn’t serve you anymore, so you can create more of what does?

It may not be comfortable, but I promise, it’s worth it.

And if your Soul Calling is asking you to step into the initiation portal of Embody Wild, I invite you to answer the call. What growth, expansion and rebirth waits for you on the other side?

If you're ready to see what Embody Wild holds for you, begin the process by submitting your application here.

Your Soul Calling is waiting for you. What do you need to do to answer it?

Many blessings,

Inspiration

While at Stonehenge, I had several visions, past life memories and revisited soul agreements. This was one of the places where I passed through a major initiation portal.

Can you see the double rainbow? I took this picture on my last evening in Avalon after a torrential rainstorm. I climbed Wearyall hill to get a look at the Tor and was treated to this powerful sight.

Did you choose Transformation, or did it choose you?

Oh my dear,

I feel you. I hear your voice of confusion, asking to be held and witnessed. I hear your heartfelt prayers for clarity, for healing, for understanding, for love. I recognize your face in every person I meet who feels alone, misunderstood, rejected, or like they're not enough.

Right now, you're at a turning point. Maybe you chose this transformation, or maybe it chose you... but either way, you and your world are changing.

I get that it can feel scary. Even if you consciously know that this transformation is a good thing, it can still feel fucking terrifying.

But your life is asking you to be bigger. Your soul is asking you to be more of who you are. Your heart is hammering to be seen, to be felt, to be loved. The fullness of your own spirit is asking you to lean in closer, to be uncomfortable, and to trust yourself to go through this messy, epic, painful, beautiful journey.

...but you know that you have a choice, right?

You know that you don't HAVE to say yes to this transformation. You don't HAVE to show up for yourself and the fullness of your heart. You can stay exactly where you are, as you are. No one is going to make you show up and be powerful. No one is going to force you to be extraordinary.

If you want to stay where you are, that's perfectly okay.

If you want to stay where you are, you can stop reading now, because the rest of this letter isn't for you.

If you're still reading...

It means that you're saying YES to your heart.

It means that you're willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow.

It means that you are willing to let the old version of your Self and your life burn away to create space for something else.

And if you are ready to step into that, know that you don't have to do it alone.

I am here to stand in the flames with you, as the fires of transformation turn your old Self to ash. I am here to help you feel safe to fall apart, to cry, and to let go of who you used to be. I am here to teach you, and give you tools for healing, healthy perspective and guidance. I am here to help you rise like the phoenix you are, to celebrate your rebirth as your authentic and powerful Self. I am here to walk beside you on this path of transformation.

My dear, I've been exactly where you are right now. I see your uncertainty, I see your pain, I see your fear. But more importantly, I see your sincere heart. I see the brilliant light at your core. I see your desire to move through this process and prove to yourself that you are capable, you are worthy and you have something powerful to offer this Earth.

And if you want a guide who is willing to stand in the fire with you, I am here.

Are you ready to say YES to receiving that kind of support?
 

If so, apply now to i AM Alchemy!

In the words of a recent client:
  "In the time I worked with Michelle, my lived experience has completely shifted for the positive. Michelle’s vision was pivotal in assisting my overcoming outdated and lingering traumas. She supported me in removing the broken armour, revisioning my personal independence and reclaiming my vitality. She was my collaborator, my mirror and my teacher. Michelle called me up to move through grief and become more of myself with every step. I am deeply soul-level grateful for her in my life."
What would be possible if you received support like that?

Take the first step now. Submit your application here.

Many blessings,

Are you depressed? No, it's just Alchemy!

Did you know that 1 in 6 people in the US will suffer from depression at some point in their lives?

I've had a really tough month, and a few days of last week were particularly challenging. (Remember last week's article I sent out about the School of Shamanic Underworld Initiation? At one point last week, I Googled "am I depressed?" out of curiosity just to see where I was on the scale. I don't qualify as experiencing clinical depression, but I'm definitely moving through some pretty heavy energy. Oof.

So if I'm not experiencing depression, what's happening?

...why, ALCHEMY, of course!

Did you know that the process of Alchemy is divided into a series of three phases, the first of which is known as the "Death Phase?" That's right: the seven stages of Alchemy are grouped into the Death Phase, the Purification Phase and the Rebirth Phase. The Death Phase comes first, and it is no joke.

The Death Phase is also not a metaphor. True, you may not actually transition out of your physical body, but the version of yourself that goes through this phase actually dies. Structures in your life crumble away. People often enter into the Death Phase through loss of a loved one, ending a relationship, losing a job or a home, health crisis, or other disaster-esque experiences. The Death Phase is characterized not only by loss of the physical structures, but by the release of emotional and energetic charge that accompanies this process (people experience this as grief, fear, sadness, anger, mourning, trauma response, etc).

Side note: are you wondering how "real" this Death is? I received an unmistakably obvious vision about a week ago. In this vision, I saw myself (a future version of me) holding my own body (current self) in my arms and carrying my lifeless corpse into nature. I set down my body and watched (both from inside my future-self and from inside my old body) as my corpse was eaten by vultures, crows and insects. It actually felt quite peaceful and cathartic, and I experienced energy moving while I witnessed my body being eaten.

I am currently in the Death Phase of Alchemy, and it's exciting! The last time I experienced a Death Phase of this magnitude was at least three or four years ago. This time, I am a completely different person with different tools, upleveled wisdom and powerful practices to support me. Bring it on, Death!!! (Applications for I AM Alchemy 2020 are now open)

Here's the thing: even if 1 in 6 people in the US experiences chronic depression at some point in their lives, 100% of people everywhere will experience at least one Death Phase at some point in their lives. Most people will probably experience many Death Phases of varying magnitudes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this--the Death Phase is a natural and necessary part in the cycle of Creation and Transformation.

The problem is that we live in a society that glorifies Rebirth and rejects Death, to the point where most people experiencing this powerful Alchemical phase usually think that something is profoundly wrong.

I am absolutely NOT saying that everyone who experiences depression is "just" going through the Death Phase of Alchemy. However, I do think that our society is so under-educated about the Death part of the death/rebirth cycle that most people never fully process and integrate their Death, and thus never fully experience true Rebirth.

If  Transformation = Death -> Purification -> Rebirth,  is transformation actually possible without fully surrendering to Death? Are we doing ourselves a huge disservice by only focusing on what we're growing into, and not fully processing and releasing what we're leaving behind? Can we honestly say that we have "transformed" if we launch our unintegrated selves into Rebirth?

Unfortunately, this seems to be the case for many. A lot of people gloss right over the Death part and right into something new. Even more unfortunately, there's a lot of this in the "spiritual" community. (Ever see a "spiritual" teacher or coach focus exhaustively on the "positive," to the point that they ignore and gloss over anything that's not "of the light?" This is A: super shaming, and B: unrealistic of how energy actually works.)

Death has a stigma. Depression has a stigma. Experiencing loss and pain and emotional discomfort all have so much stigma. People avoid talking about it, but by avoiding pain, we never fully integrate it. By ignoring Death, we never get to receive its gifts.

Of course it's more fun to think about Rebirth. Of course it's more socially acceptable to focus on chasing the big, awesome version of our lives that we imagine. Of course it's a lot prettier to ask, "What's the best that could happen?" Of course I probably grossed some of you out by describing my vision. (Not sorry. Shamanic truth dilutes itself for no one.)

...but Alchemy is here to teach us that Death is a sacred ally. Alchemy, this ancient mystery school, has so much to teach us in our modern context where everyone experiences Death and no one wants to talk about it. Alchemy is here to call major bullshit on our collective resistance to examining, processing and sitting with things that are profoundly uncomfortable. Alchemy is here to remind us that, if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are... and that Death is necessary in order for Rebirth to occur.

Remember how I said that the last big Death Phase I experienced was 3-4 years ago? Do you want to know what's different this time? This time, I am not freaking out. This time, I feel empowered in this experience, because I know:

• Alchemy has a very logical set of teachings to explain my experience.

• Alchemical philosophy perfectly describes my current state as the Death Phase in the cycle of Transformation.

• I am currently experiencing the first two stages of Alchemy: Calcination (burning) and Dissolution (dissolving), both of which comprise the Death Phase.

• I have specific tools and practices for working with all stages of the Alchemical process, including the Death Phase.

• I have experienced success with these tools and have evidence that the teachings of Alchemy support the cycle of true Transformation.

• I have supported my Alchemy students through their own Death Phases, and they all benefited from these tools.

People, it's not a question of IF you'll go through the Death Phase, it's a question of WHEN. And when you do, do you have the tools you need to feel empowered? Do you have what it takes to be fully present with your own Death? Do you know how to fully process and integrate the destruction of your life so that you can gracefully shift into a true Rebirth?

There are tools for this, and I want you to have them.

If you want to feel empowered the next time a Death Phase shows up in your life, you need Alchemy.

If you want to truly master the process of Transformation and feel confident in your ability to move through great loss, you need Alchemy.

If you are ready to go from overwhelmed and "am I depressed?" to self-confident and "bring it on!!", you need Alchemy.

Applications for I AM Alchemy 2020 are now open!

...and to all my people out there currently going through their own Death Phase, know that there are so many people (myself included) who are right there with you. I see you. I feel you so much. You are not alone. It is okay to feel everything you are feeling. I get it, and I love you.

Blessings,

Inspiration

The School of Shamanic Underworld Initiation

Are you ready for a big announcement???

Drum roll, please...

I am going back to school!!!

Now, I know you might be thinking that this seems sort of unexpected. Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are! Let's just say an opportunity fell in my lap that I can't possibly ignore. This special invitation is beckoning me to continue my studies, deepen in my practice and step into my Mastery more than I ever have. How could I say no?

Would you like to know about this school?

Again, drum roll...

I'm happy to announce that I'm attending the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation!!!

Hahahahaaaa okay, please forgive the joke. But for real, y'all, if you've been through an underworld initiation of your own, you know as well as I do that it can school you harder than pretty much anything else. (Based on my previous studies, looks like I'll be going for my PhD.)

What is Underworld Initiation?

For those of you who might not be familiar with the term, an Underworld Initiation (also known as Dark Night of the Soul) is a Spirit-led initiation through the Shadow mysteries, usually precipitated by a big life change or traumatic event, and characterized by ego death, radical transformation and rebirth in a new, elevated form.

...that is, if you do it right.

See, the thing about underworld initiation is that most people don't seize the opportunity, and instead hang out in their confusion/trauma or never completely go through the necessary catharsis. Some of the most common ways that people avoid fully moving through their Dark Night of the Soul are through distraction (which can take many forms, including relationship, career, shopping, hobbies, internet/TV, food, etc), medication and substance abuse.

But when we're fully present to an underworld initiation cycle, I am here to tell you that it is crazy powerful and you will come into some next-level magic as a result. It will be pretty fucking uncomfortable, but it is totally worth it.

What do you learn in an Underworld Initiation?

What you learn in your underworld initiation(s) will be different from mine and anyone else's. In essence, you will be confronted with opportunities to shift and/or release your personal shadow patterns and wounding, and come into deeper Self Mastery from a place of authentic actualization. If you're successful, the lesson usually either doesn't show up again, or it shows up in a different way that helps you go even deeper in your Mastery. If you don't make the shift, you're very likely to see a repeat of your Shamanic Underworld Initiation school curriculum the next time around.

Here are some examples of what I've "studied" in previous initiatory experiences, and the resulting uplevel of my skills and mastery (in bold):

• Stepping away from my connection to Spirit, to fully claiming and embodying my holy nature as a Divine Embodied Being, before anything else.

• Questioning my belonging in community, to feeling more connected to a tribe of like-hearted people.

• Abandoning my power, to fully stepping into the expansive potential of my personal magic and my gifts, and using my power with ease.

• Feeling abandoned by loved ones and community, to cultivating healthy relationships with a group of supportive humans who I know have my back.

• Home and financial crisis, to internalizing my sense of safety so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have what I need, and resulting stability and abundance.

• Not trusting myself and my intuition, to always standing by what my inner wisdom tells me, even if other people don't believe me or listen. I trust myself fully, no matter what.

• Embodying the Wounded Healer archetype, to embodying the Empowered Healer archetype and stepping into my authentic service.

• Receiving manipulation and abuse, to loving myself so much that I only accept loving and compassionate treatment from others.

• Feeling like a powerless victim of my circumstances and my emotions, to being able to confidently draw upon the infinite wellspring of my personal power and life force in order to transmute energy for healing.

• Lack of boundaries, to boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! (Okay, I'm still working on that one in certain areas, but I'm much better than I used to be.)

I feel very confident that I have completely shifted many of these, but there are still a couple lessons that keep showing up in the cosmic syllabus, along with new stuff! I'm so excited about this learning opportunity, I could scream!!!!!!!

Do you know the best part? Every time we return to the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation, we have more tools. We have additional perspective and information from the intervening years, we have more people in our corner to support us, and we have even more capacity to move a massive amount of energy. Best of all in this case, I actually know what underworld initiations are now, and I know how to let myself go into them without completely losing my shit (there are moments where it gets a little dicey, but I'm much better at being uncomfortable than I used to be). Don't worry--if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are!

How do we get into the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation?

...why? Are you thinking, "that sounds great! I want to go to that kind of school."

If so:

1. You're crazy. You do not want to volunteer for this kind of learning if you can do it in a different way.

2. You don't choose the school of Shamanic Underworld Initiation. It chooses you, whether you like it or not.

You might be thinking, "But, Michelle! You sound kind of excited about this. What gives?"

Well, friend, I wouldn't say I'm "excited." Again, it's super uncomfortable and I definitely would prefer to not be having this experience. But it is fair to say that I'm leaning into it with a certain degree of good humor and "fuck it, let's do this." I can guarantee you that I fought tooth and nail to avoid going into this underworld initiation, and hahahahaaaa of course that didn't work. But now that I'm here, I am going to make the best of it and seize the opportunity for some major lessons in Mastery! (I keep flashing back to May: this is exactly the feeling I had when I didn't make it on the ferry back from Orcas Island and had a 7-hour wait at the ferry dock. I genuinely felt as cool as a cucumber and in good humor, even though I 10000% would rather have been on the ferry. I made the best of it and did fine once I was in the experience.)

What are some tools for a successful Underworld Initiation?

I'm so glad you asked! Based on my experience, here are some of the most important things you can do, regardless of your particular lessons:

• Do not avoid your process. Do not avoid your pain. Whatever it is, be present with your feelings and allow yourself to completely receive their gifts and messages. Even the most painful circumstances hold powerful medicine, and you'll miss it if you're distracted.

• That being said, it's okay to step back from your process every now and then! Go watch a movie. Hang out with friends. (It's a balance. Don't overdo the checking out, but don't be a masochist hero.)

• Reflection is an amazing tool: journaling, meditation, counseling, talking with friends.

• ...but make sure to receive inputs of new information and energy so you're not just spinning around in your own shit! Read articles, get perspectives from different people, tune in to my podcast (link below), get some outside wisdom.

• Move energy on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, Spiritual. Make sure you have practices to support this (movement practice, breathwork, mantra, crying, journaling, energy healing). I AM Alchemy is a great resource for all of these.

• Ask for help. Whether it's from loved ones, community, or a professional, it is vitally important to receive support and remember that you are loved.

• Remember that if it feels like you're dying, it's because you are: the old version of your Self and your life is dying. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's okay to grieve this. But keep in mind that you're growing into something new and you get to claim it whenever you're ready.

You know what? After writing all of this, I actually am kind of excited. I can look back on previous rounds of "school" and see how they were instrumental in my personal and energetic education. As a result of these Shamanic Underworld Initiations, I received concentrated growth and learning within short periods of time. I have these initiatory experiences to thank for aligning me with the process of Alchemy (applications for I AM Alchemy are now open), cultivating a comfortable relationship with Death and Sacred Destruction, and coming into strong allyship with associated spirit guides and deities. Some of my strongest medicine comes from these experiences.

I know that these periods of my life when I was most uncomfortable were also incredibly valuable training grounds for my gifts, my resilience and my ability to work with big energy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

(Have you experienced Underworld Initiation and wish you had more tools for next time? Are you experiencing one right now? I recommend applying for I AM Alchemy to give you tools and support to move through these lessons!

Many blessings,

Inspiration

How to Deal with Energy Vampires

Energy vampires are everywhere. Sometimes they're obvious (that friend who seems to suck the life out of a room and whom you care about but feel really tired after talking to them), and sometimes they're super sneaky. Sometimes they seem like awesome people on paper. Sometimes they are so good at hiding in plain sight that they successfully attract lots of juicy, vibrant people to feed on.

Guess what: the "spiritual" community is not exempt from energy vampires. In fact, there are probably more of these "hiding in plain sight" vampires in the spiritual community than almost anywhere else. They're practitioners, they're "spiritual" business coaches, they're shamans, they're speakers. They have a foothold in a community of heart-centered people. They are sneaky, and they are gross.

I don't mean to sound dramatic about this (it's all very deal-with-able), but I recently encountered one such energy vampire. It's been a while since I've dealt with an energy suck of this level, so I wanted to share with you the process I went through in dealing with this vampire so you can apply it to your own experiences.

Here are some of my favorite tools and practices for when you inevitably encounter one, yourself!

How to Deal with Energy Vampires

1. Trust your intuition. You are not crazy.

If you feel like something is off, something is probably off. Even if this person is saying all the right things and it seems like there's something wrong with you for not wanting to be around them, I guarantee you will eventually find out why. Better to trust yourself from the start.
 

2. Step away.

Once you've identified the energy vampire, do what you can to create some space (energetic and physical) between you. It will be easier for you to maintain your field if you're not in immediate contact with this person. If for some reason you can't take physical space from this person, create space with your energy and your body (avoiding eye contact, turning your body away, placing others between you and the vampire).

2. *****Alternative step for confident and advanced practitioners only!!!!!

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone unless you are extremely confident in your energetic boundaries, you feel well-resourced and are ready to be extremely uncomfortable (and probably make other people uncomfortable, too). Instead of stepping away and creating space, lean in and "poke the bear" to see what kind of energy you're dealing with. The vampire will either back off or come at you harder. In this particular circumstance, I threw some darts to see what would happen and the results were downright nasty. The process was incredibly unpleasant and has made my energetic cleanup a little more challenging, but it confirmed for me exactly what I was dealing with. Totally worth it. And totally disgusting.
 

3. Assess your energy.

After you're no longer in contact with the vampire, do a scan and assess your energy body. What do you notice? Is your energy relatively intact, depleted, raw, reactive, etc? Are there cords or attachments? (Answer: probably.) If so, where? Are there energetic implants or traces from the vampire? If so, where and of what kind? Make sure you assess all the layers (physical body, emotional body, mental body, etheric body.)
 

4. Take appropriate action.

This is where your different tools come in. Depending on what you notice in your assessment, the tools and the order in which you use them may vary. Some of the tools you might use include:

• Grounding

• Movement practice

• Rest and replenishment

• Cord cutting

• Energy clearing

• Emotional Alchemy

• Reviewing and altering energy signatures

• Energy/entity removal

• Soul retrieval

• Re-upping your protection practices

For more information on tools for dealing with energy vampires, check out this episode of Shaman Sister Sessions:

Again, these people are everywhere. Some of them don't know what they're doing and are using vampirism to take energy from others because they are deeply wounded and don't know how to support themselves. And unfortunately, there are plenty of vampires like the one I faced off with who know exactly what they are doing and are really good at getting away with it.

I hope you find this helpful. It is my deepest hope that what I share with you (today and always) is useful to you and helps all of us step forward into more empowerment, confidence and integrity. When I encounter people like this vampire, I get really angry. I feel incredibly protective of my community (that's you), and I want to take a stand for ethical energetic practices.

A Shaman is responsible for the health and well-being of their Tribe. A Priestess is a temple keeper and guardian of the Sacred Work. As a Shaman and a Priestess, when I come across a manipulative narcissist masquerading as a loving leader, my inner Sacred Warrior rises up, sword in hand, to declare:

Not in my house. Not in my temple. Not in my Tribe. I commit to always taking a stand for you, my community. I commit to always advocating for love, integrity and Truth. I commit to holding a fierce boundary when necessary. I commit to doing this Sacred Work for the benefit of All Beings, and for the Earth herself.

Want to know more about other ways to protect and cultivate your vital life force energy?

Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of Self Mastery...

if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you.

I see you. I love you.

Many blessings,

Four Ways You're Probably Leaking Energy and Don't Know It

Do you ever feel like sometimes you might be hemorrhaging life force energy and not know where it all goes? All of a sudden you feel totally exhausted, depleted and have no idea why. You can't imagine what might be taking that much of your energy, and I can guarantee it's probably something you never expected.

I wanted to share this with you because over the years, I have witnessed an appalling number of practitioners fall into these super obvious traps (I have fallen into these as well) and end up feeling totally drained. Yes, all the usual stuff still applies (grounding, protecting your energy, personal practice, etc.). But these four things are so basic that they're not usually on our radar as potential energy leaks.

Sometimes it's helpful to look at the most mundane parts of our lives and see how they're contributing to our overall well-being. If you're one of the people whose first thought when you hear "energy leak" is "do an extraction" or "they must need Soul Retrieval..." start here first.

 

Four Ways You're Probably Leaking Energy and Don't Know It

1. Problem: Maintaining potential timelines.
We often see this in the case of non-commitment, "keeping options open" or replying "Interested" to everything on Facebook. Maybe you're the kind of person who tells your friends "Maybe, I'll get back to you" about plans and waits until the last minute. I'm a huge fan of flexibility, but did you know that it actually costs you energy to maintain that many open currents? As long as you keep the possibility open of "maybe" doing something or spending time with people, you are maintaining an energetic connection to those people and circumstances. Whether you like it or not, if the energetic connection is there, your life force is attached to that potential timeline.
Fix: Be clear in your intentions about what you commit to and where you make energetic connections. If you want to go to an event, buy your ticket. If you're not sure, give yourself a hard deadline to think about it and then make your final decision, yes or no. That way you can focus all your energy on the timelines you want to manifest.

2. Problem: Virtual connections.
This is a similar principle as above. The world we live in exposes us to the energy from more people, circumstances and events than ever before, while simultaneously isolating us into a little virtual bubble. You know all the healthy, positive things that come with spending time with friends and family, such as oxytocin, emotional resonance and heartbeat entrainment? We don't get those from virtual connection. We may be able to communicate through texts, messages and even video, but the benefits pretty much stop there. Instead, we form an energetic link with someone or something that can then tap the precious resource of our own vital life force (read the news lately? Geez. Don't want that connection). In other words, we get all the drawbacks of making an energetic link with someone without actually receiving the benefits.
Fix: Make sure to create space for nourishing in-person connection, and practice regular energy clearing and cord-cutting to sever connections with virtual energies.

3. Problem: Not taking responsibility for your own energy.
This one can be a bit tricky (I am definitely not "Law of Attraction-shaming" here), and we've all been here at some point. But here's a bit of tough love: I can guarantee that you have at least ONE tool in your tool belt that will help you take responsibility for your own energy, even if it feels like things are falling apart around you. Maybe you have lots of tools. Regardless of how many tools we have, they don't work for shit unless we actually use them. When we don't take responsibility for our own energy, we lose so much of our vital life force by placing our process outside of ourselves. (Not taking responsibility for our energy can look like blaming things on Mercury Retrograde/astrology stuff, excusing something with "my healer told me my root chakra is blocked so I'm really ungrounded," etc.) Avoiding responsibility for your energy body is a great way to become super depleted and blow out your system.
This means the next time you're spinning out (again, we all have those moments), instead of making your problem someone else's problem, STOP. Breathe. Go for a walk. Use any of the amazing tools you have to shift your energy.
Fix: Claim your sovereignty and embody your free will in the experience. Take responsibility for your energy body and use your tools. Be honest with yourself and others about how you're feeling, and take empowered, inspired action to shift your energy and/or ask for support.

4. Problem: Divided desire.
Do you feel like you're "stuck?" Do you look back at your life and feel like you're in the same place you were a year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? If so, you might be divided in your desires. Maybe part of you wants to connect with high vibration energies and become an Alchemist, but another part of you is afraid of the changes that will mean for your 3D life. Oh no! What if you outgrow your career, shift out of alignment with your partner and feel like you need to move to Portland to study Alchemy and healership with Michelle???
Relax. The Divided Desire trap exists because we believe it's an either/or choice, rather than a both/and option. We often think we need to figure out the details before making transformation happen in order to satisfy the concerns of that part of ourselves that's digging in its heels. But as long as we're divided in our intentions and desires, nothing happens and we get stuck. When we get stuck, we're no longer participating in the flow of Universal energy, and we lose our vital life force. We feel depleted, drained, disconnected and dull.
Fix: Get the conflicting parts of yourself on the same page, even if it's for a small change, just to get some energy moving and regain your connection with flow. You'll feel more vital and the next change will come more easily.

On that note... Applications for I AM Alchemy 2020 are now open. 

Want to know more about other ways to protect and cultivate your vital life force energy? Have I got the training for you!

Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of Self Mastery...

if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you.

Energetic Regulation is Not Just for Empaths

...it's for anyone who wants to understand their own energy and cultivate an empowered personal practice. Do you know anyone who needs that?

We might think our personal practice supports us fully, but in my 15+ years of training and work, I've found that one key area is missing from most people's practice, and that essential component is Energetic Regulation. Being able to regulate our energies directly affects our health and well-being on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, and is usually overlooked in most forms of personal practice.

What is Energetic Regulation?

Even if you have some idea of how energy works or have even studied healing work, Energetic Regulation may not be a part of your practice. Energetic Regulation is both the practice of long-term energetic maintenance, and identifying specific imbalances in your personal energy field and making appropriate adjustments using the 4 Keys of Energetic Regulation.

When your energy is regulated, your energy body is fully online and empowered.

What would be possible for you if your energy were fully Empowered? Do you know what that feels like?

We live in a world where, for the most part, our energies are out of balance and not fully empowered. We walk on concrete, drive around in cars, talk on phones, stare at screens and eat processed food. We may interface with people who are angry, frustrated, unhealthy and out of balance. The more unbalanced we are, the more support we need to regulate and empower our energies!

Needing to regulate your energy doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. Regulating your energy is a necessary maintenance that supports your health and well-being on the physical, mental, emotional and Spiritual levels.

If you need to regulate your energy, you might:

• Feel depleted, tired, fatigued or drained

• Feel anxious, scattered, having trouble focusing or making decisions

• Be more likely to take on other people’s energy, feel angry or depressed

• Feel like you’re “stuck in your head,” disconnected from your body and your heart

• Have trouble connecting with others, not able to access your intuition

• Feel overwhelmed, insecure, or want to “check out”

• Have a strong personal practice and generally feel good, but like there's something "off" and you're not sure what

Your Energy Body, Empowered!

Good news! If you’re feeling any of those things above, that’s totally normal because of the world we live in. Even better news: there’s a simple solution, and that’s what this training is all about! Using regulation practices to maintain a healthy energy body is a life-long practice that requires awareness and commitment. Just like any other skill, the more you practice, the easier and more effortless it becomes. When you clear, ground, cultivate and protect your energies, you might:

• Feel energized, rested, resourced and comfortable

• Feel more confident, secure, focused and stable

• Feel more physical health and vitality

• Experience better sleep and relaxation

• Have healthy boundaries, feel happier and connect more easily with others

• Have a healthy connection with your body and your emotions

• Develop a healthy connection with your intuition

• Feel capable, alert and engaged in your life

• Have greater capacity to support your clients and people in your life

How would it feel if you had the tools and resources to build an Empowered foundation for your personal energy and your practice? What difference would it make for you if you understood how to regulate your energy field? How would it help you feel more empowered in your life, and enable you to show up more fully?

What would be possible for you if your energy were fully Empowered?

Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of Self Mastery... if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you.

Are you ready to go from being "just another healer" to a Fully Empowered Master of Transformation?

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020!

The Empowered Healer Checklist

Over my 15+ years of training and practice, I've found that there are a few key essentials that make all the difference both in my personal practice and in my ability to offer healing to others. These were essential skills that I imparted during my 7 years teaching Reiki, and continue to teach to my private clients and Alchemy students.

...Do you want to know what they are???
 

How do you know if you're an Empowered healer?
Use the Empowered Healer checklist to find out!

The Empowered Healer Checklist

Every Empowered Healer should feel confident in these 5 key areas:

1. Energetic Anatomy: You know how energy naturally moves through the body and energy centers. You can identify different layers of your energy body, direct flow of energy and tell if something is out of alignment.

2. Clearing energy: You can comfortably and confidently use purging, releasing and cleansing techniques to clear the different energy bodies. You know how to clear trapped emotion, old energetic residue, other people's energy and stagnation.

3. Grounding energy: You know how to safely ground into Earthly and embodied energies. You know how to return all parts of your energy back to your body and create a solid container.

4. Cultivating energy: You feel confident building and cultivating your energy field. You know how to increase the vibration and the amount of energy in your field, and safely work with it.

5. Protecting energy: You know how to create a non-defensive protective field. You feel comfortable setting and asserting energetic boundaries, especially in stressful or chaotic surroundings. You know how to keep your energies safe.

If you answered an enthusiastic YES to all of these, congratulations! You're an Empowered Healer!

Were there some points where you didn't feel so confident? Did you see some areas where you would like to grow and feel more comfortable?

Applications for I AM Alchemy are now open. Whether you are an existing or aspiring practitioner, healer or coach, or whether you want to spend 12 months walking the Alchemist path as part of your personal journey of Self Mastery... if you want to bring practical application of real-time magic and alignment with Universal forces of creation to your life, I AM Alchemy is for you.

Are you ready to go from being "just another healer" to a Fully Empowered Master of Transformation?

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020!

Journal/Meditation prompts:
 

Who am I as an Empowered Healer?
What dreams do I have for myself in my Healing abilities?
What do I need to learn or be in order for that to happen?

As Long as it Takes

I don't usually use this platform for movie reviews, but... holy cow, y'all! I watched a documentary over the weekend that has me inspired, activated and deeply reconnected with my Inner Warrior.

When I began delving into my study of Shamanic Astrology several years ago, I learned that Aries is activated for me in a few different areas of my chart. Aries is one of these signs that we see portrayed as strong-willed and independent, but one of the ways I like to think about this archetype is through the lens of the Peaceful Warrior. Aries pushes the edges not for the sake of conflict, but because the eternal question burning inside them asks, "What is possible?" Aries is the Pioneer, the Wayshower, the one who climbs the "impossible" mountain to discover within themselves that it can be done, and to pave the way for others.

The film I watched literally portrays two such Peaceful Warriors in their quest to climb an "impossible" mountain.

The Dawn Wall (available on Netflix) follows world-class rock climbers Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson as they attempt to successfully free climb the notorious 3,000 foot Dawn Wall of El Capitan in Yosemite. In the interest of not giving away spoilers (because I really, REALLY encourage you to watch this film), I'll share with you a couple of my takeaways without referencing specifics. If you watch it and want to email me what you got out of the film, I would love to hear from you!!!

One of the repeating themes in The Dawn Wall was the idea of "as long as it takes." This showed up not only during the actual attempt, but in the preparation. Not only had both of these people practiced climbing for pretty much their entire lives, but Tommy Caldwell had climbed El Capitan for years. When he decided to try the Dawn Wall, he spent six years researching and testing possible route sections across the sheer rock face.

When is the last time most of us spent six years devoted to mastering a very specific task where the outcome was so uncertain?

We live in a culture of instant gratification and guaranteed results... which, when you think about it, is inherently antithetical to true Mastery. The state of Mastery is an uncertain outcome with an uncertain timeline--but we do know it's a long-haul journey. As Bruce Lee famously says, "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." In other words, the best way to be effective and powerful in a given skill set is to simply practice it over and over, as long as it takes to master it.

Not only did Tommy and Kevin practice the Dawn Wall over and over, but they failed over and over. One thing that drives me crazy is hearing stories about someone who achieves "overnight success," when in fact, they spent years out of the spotlight developing Mastery and cultivating their skills, often failing more than they succeed until they get it right. Tommy and Kevin were in this journey for the long haul, which included years worth of injuries, setbacks, emotional toll and bloody fingers. True Mastery is a journey that tests us on every level, and offers us thousands of opportunities to walk away. Those who are committed to the journey, even with no guaranteed outcome, will show up for as long as it takes.

Back to that burning question, "What is possible?" There was no climbing route on the Dawn Wall when Tommy first considered it. This was uncharted territory in every sense of the word, that would require not only physical strength and endurance, but also creative ingenuity, emotional resilience, fierce commitment and dedication, lots of support from community, and a colossal investment of time and energy.

And yet, Aries is the keeper of the Spark--the catalyst, the tiny explosion of a match that eventually leads to a bonfire. When we ask "what is possible?", we strike a match. It's up to us whether the match goes out, or whether we nurture it into a full, blazing flame.

By nurturing that tiny spark, true Warriors push the edges of what we as a society deem "possible." All of a sudden, the seemingly impossible enters the realm of "doable," and paves the way for others to not only push their own edges but go beyond to become Wayshowers of the next frontier.

We may not all be world-class rock climbers, but I promise you that we each have an opportunity to embody our Inner Warrior in other ways. What is your Dawn Wall? Where is the question, "What is possible?" pointing you? What are you willing to show up for, to practice over and over, to fail at over and over, and to ultimately master?

Whatever your own Dawn Wall may be, know that I'm right there, climbing beside you... as long as it takes.

Are you ready to go from being "just another healer" to a Fully Empowered Master of Transformation?

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020!

Inspiration



"I have a very distinct goal all the time that I'm working toward, and I love the way it makes me live."

~Tommy Caldwell