Self Mastery: The Alchemist's Path

Dear Tribe,

Thank you for continuing to ask the Big Questions. You know the ones I mean...

"Who am I?"
"What is my purpose?"
"What the f*** am I doing with my life?"

If you're asking these questions, you're in the right place.

I enjoyed two deep-dive days last weekend with a mentor of mine looking at some of these Big Questions, but honestly, my biggest takeaway wasn't an answer, and it wasn't even a question in itself:

My biggest takeaway was learning WHY I was asking Big Questions.

One of the teachings we visited over the weekend was the 6 Core Drivers of Human Behavior (originally from Tony Robbins). I was already familiar with these drivers, but something landed for me in a new way when I looked at my primary driver: Significance.

"People who are driven by Significance are those who crave Mastery of their lives," my mentor said.

I had always taken for granted my interest in self-inquiry and Self Mastery, but never before put the idea together with an archetypal driver of my behavior that impacts my choices, my world view and how I offer my work in the world.

You see, this weekend I learned that not only do I want to know myself and practice the path of Self Mastery, but:

I want it to matter.

I want my journey to be important and serve other people.

I want the questions I ask myself and the path of self-knowledge to ripple out farther beyond me than I could ever imagine.

I want the path of Self Mastery to be available to all who seek it.

If you are seeking this path of Self Mastery, read on.

"What you seek is seeking you." ~Rumi

I AM: The One Presence, the God Body, Christ Consciousness; the identification, resonance and expression of the Divine Self.

"Know thyself."

You're probably familiar with this idea.

This particular maxim has appeared in many philosophical and literary works throughout the ages. Its roots go back to ancient Greece and the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, although some historians cite origins even earlier in the temples of ancient Egypt. More recently than Socrates and Plato, however, we've seen this aphorism show up in the works of Benjamin Franklin, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Carl Jung and even in The Matrix film series.

The theme of self-knowledge, and therefore, Self Mastery, has been one of the governing quests of humanity, if not the ultimate investigative journey. Who has not wondered about their identity, their sense of Self, and their place in the world? In fact, I can guarantee that, if you are reading this email, you have asked yourself in some form, "Who am I?"

I've been there, too. In fact, I'm there right now.

When I was playing with some ideas last year about the course that has since become I AM Alchemy, I found myself asking a lot of Big Questions, among them:

"What is actually the point of this course? What is the goal?"

"What do I want my students to learn or achieve as a result of this course?"

"...what the heck do I call it???" (Okay, maybe this isn't exactly a "Big Question.")

I meditated on these questions as I considered not only Alchemical philosophy and its role in the modern world, but also my personal values and desires as a facilitator of this body of knowledge. After all, we are not separate from the work we offer, and I knew that any teachings (especially transmissions from such a powerful mystery school) would be coming through the filter of my own sense of Self.

The school of Alchemy is primarily known in popular understanding as the process of turning lead into gold, but most people don't realize that gold is not actually the Alchemist's goal. In addition to producing gold, the end result of a successful Alchemical process is the Philosopher's Stone, or Ultima Materia: the perfected, fully actualized state that symbolizes the union between Above and Below, or the Heavenly and Earthly Selves. In the case of the Alchemist, the Philosopher's Stone is the fully actualized Self: the embodied state of our Divine nature... the I AM.

In other words, Self Mastery is the path of the Alchemist.

I knew when I was developing the course last year, and I was reminded over the weekend as I sat with my driver of Significance: I want my journey to serve others, and I want the path of Self Mastery to be available to all those Lightworkers who seek it.

This was my intention in creating this course, and this is my greatest desire for my students: that they remember who they are as fully actualized, Divine Embodied Beings, and that they identify, resonate and express their own I AM Presence for themselves and for the world.

When I said that I'm right there on the path with you, I meant it. I know that by offering this course in I AM Alchemy, by inviting my students to ask Big Questions, by encouraging them to explore and examine every facet of their lives through the lens of Self Mastery and transformation, by leading them through the fires of change and asking them to trust that they will make it out the other side...

I am asking myself some Big Questions.

I am examining every facet of my life through the lens of Self Mastery and not taking anything for granted.

I am walking voluntarily through the fires of change and watching those parts of my life that were no longer aligned burn to the ground.

I am having to trust my Self and my path more than ever before, even when it's hard. Even when it means stepping away from things I love. Even when the outcome isn't guaranteed, but I know that if I didn't try I would regret it for the rest of my life.

...because, on the other side of that, is my I AM.

This is what I want for my Self.

This is what I want for my students.

This is what I want for you, if you choose it.

If you are ready to step into your own path of Self Mastery, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to have clear access to your fully actualized Self... If you are ready to come into the fullest expression of your Divine Nature... If you are ready to claim your I AM and inspire others to do the same... If you are ready to walk the Earth as a Divine Embodied Being...

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

"What you seek is seeking you." ~Rumi

Journal prompt:

What am I seeking?
What is seeking me?

Alchemist: You Are a Visionary Thought Leader

Visionary: A person who has a vision for their world.

Thought Leader: A person who can effectively communicate their vision to others, inspiring them to think differently and planting seeds of change.

Raise your hand if you have a vision, a dream or an idea for what you would like to see in the world.

I thought so.

If you're like me, you have lots of ideas that relate somehow to this grand vision of a better world that lives in your heart. You hold this vision, you're connected to the feeling it gives you and when you think about it, something lights up inside you... something that gives you a little fire in your belly and an urge to move forward into making it a reality.

Alchemy is known as the process of transformation, yet before the Alchemist can begin the journey, they must have a vision for the desired outcome. I can guarantee you that no Alchemist started practicing because they were perfectly content with themselves and the world as it is. One of the principles of Alchemy is rectification: the act of putting something right (or in the case of Alchemy, the process of transmuting something into its highest potential form and elevating its state of being). The path of the Alchemist is one of trusting one's Sacred Vision and in coaxing this form into being through the magic of transformation.

Alchemists as Visionaries

A visionary may or may not know exactly where they're going or what the final result will be like, but they usually have a pretty good idea. An Alchemist knows that the end product of a successful Alchemical operation will be the Philosopher's Stone: an elevated, perfected state of matter and consciousness that will inspire and elevate all that comes into contact with it... But the nature of the Stone is unique to the Alchemist, and thus, a mystery until it manifests.

Alchemy, then, is a practice in holding faith in this Sacred Vision, even if we're not exactly sure what it looks like. Maybe your Sacred Vision is an elevated state of improved health and well-being, maybe it's moving into a different career or supporting your family, maybe it's living internationally. Whatever your Sacred Vision, the more connected you are to knowing and feeling it with every part of your being, the more easily it comes about. And just as with the Philosopher's Stone, the final manifestation of your Vision will be unique to you.

Alchemists as Thought Leaders

This was the idea that interested me most. I modified our working definition from what was given in the workshop, and it feels important to explore it further. Let's break it down:

1. A person who can effectively communicate their vision to others.
I want to emphasize here that "effectively communicate" does not necessarily mean "talk about." Rather, I invite you to consider all other means of communication. What if a vision could be communicated through someone's way of being? What if, rather than talking about the virtues of compassion and the vision of a compassionate world, a Thought Leader simply behaved compassionately? By modeling the behavior and way of being, a Thought Leader can effectively invite others to join them in actualizing the vision.

Alchemy is one of the most secretive, mysterious and deliberately concealed bodies of knowledge. Historically, Alchemists wanted to protect this mystery school from those who would misuse or take advantage of the power available through Alchemy, and protect themselves in the process. Therefore, Alchemical wisdom has traditionally been communicated entirely in metaphor, imagery, indirect teaching and through modeling the practice. While none of this teaching was direct transmission, it was nonetheless effective. Alchemical instruction only very recently shifted to include written works and more straightforward communication.

2. A person who inspires others to think differently.
Consciousness is the root of all creation, and thoughts are the manifestation of our consciousness. If you're familiar with the Law of Attraction, you know that "that which we think about comes about." Let's reverse this: if you take a look at your life, you will have a very good idea of what your thoughts have been leading up to this point. If you don't like what you see when you look around at your world, start by changing your thoughts.

An Alchemist knows that their greatest tool is their own consciousness, and their most effective means of change is to shift the consciousness of not only themselves but of all beings. An Alchemist as a Thought Leader will invite others to create a shift in their thinking that is aligned with a shared Sacred Vision, thus harnessing the collective consciousness to move more easily in a common direction.

3. A person who plants the seeds of change.
We live in an ever-changing world, and the Alchemist is the first to acknowledge and ally themselves with the cycles of transformation. After all, once the Alchemical process is complete, we start again at the beginning. Alchemists plant seeds for change, knowing that even the massive oak tree comes from a tiny acorn. All great changes and worldwide paradigm shifts begin with a seed, just as a bonfire begins with a spark.

When I consider the greater implications of my own Alchemy work and the I AM Alchemy course, the possibilities of this particular Sacred Vision become even more magical. I know the power that comes from being the guardian of a Sacred Vision, and the responsibility that comes from actualizing this vision in the world. Yet, that responsibility is a gift to be honored and enjoyed. As a Visionary Thought Leader, the Alchemist walks the sacred path of seeing to the heart of something and beholding its highest potential, and the most cherished honor of communicating this vision to others, inspiring people to align with this different consciousness and planting the seeds of change for this vision to be born.

Together, we Visionary Thought Leader Alchemists are creating worlds.

If you are ready to access your inner Visionary Thought Leader, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to have clear access to the amazing vision you hold for the world... If you are ready to communicate this vision to others through the power of your being... If you are ready to plant the seeds of magic and change in the hearts of those around you... If you are ready for your magical vision to be born into the world...

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Journal prompt:

What is the Sacred Vision I have for the world?
How can I communicate this vision effectively?
How am I living in alignment with this vision and inviting others to join me in this world?

Access Your Inner Master Creator

Creatorship: active participation in the natural cycles of Universal energy, from a place of fully empowered BE-ing.

Creation is the natural order of energy. Cycles of creation and destruction hold a healthy, harmonious balance of flow in the world. We see this phenomenon in the cycles of the seasons, in nutrient cycling in nature, in the phases of the moon… you get the idea.

Natural Cycles

Often, when we think about the process of creation, we call to mind the idea of “making something out of nothing.” However, as we know from the first law of thermodynamics (also known as the Law of Conservation of Energy), energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but rather, energy can only be transferred or transformed. Thus, creation originates not from nothing, but from recycling, reorganizing and reforming energy that was already in existence into a different vibration.

Your Active Participation

Universal energy is an infinite source with a will and life force of its own. Since we ourselves are made from this energy, we already have the right and full access to work with life force energy. However, one may ask, “If Universal energy has a will and life force of its own, why is my active participation required?” This is where I’ll insert a tiny rant about Bliss Ninnies. There are people (I’m sure you know someone like this, or know of people like this) who have taken the passive approach to life. They have determined that the Universe has a will of its own and that all things move in accordance with this will, and they have stopped there. Some things these people commonly say include, “Everything is perfect,” “I’m just going with the flow,” and “The Universe will provide, man.”

You may also notice that these people are remarkably ineffective at creating change in their own lives, usually hold a lot of stagnant energy and tend to have poor boundaries.

And yet, they’re not totally wrong, they’ve just taken the passive approach. Let’s examine these statements from the active perspective:

“Everything is perfect, because everything is Source, and I am a perfect embodiment of that same Source.”

“I am consciously moving and aligning with the flow of Divine will.”

“I am clear and empowered in my intentions and desires and the Universe is answering my prayers and providing for me, always.”

What is the difference between these two approaches? Mostly, it’s as simple as paying attention. Your active participation in the cycles of creation is a gift and an invitation. You are always at choice. However, keep in mind that your choice not to participate as an active co-creator of your life and of the world is also a clear intention that will be answered in its own way. Better to show up and take an active role.

Fully Empowered BE-ing

The good news is, taking an active role in the creation of our lives and of the world is usually simpler than we think. Put very plainly:

There is nothing that you have to do, other than be who you are.

But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. Assuming your place as Master Creator of your existence requires you to claim your fully actualized, empowered state as a Divine Embodied Being. It requires that you remember fully your own Divine origins, remember that you have the right and the privilege to come to Earth to play and learn, and that you have chosen to be here in this body, for this reason.

In other words, mastering the cycles of creation isn’t really about doing anything at all. Rather, it’s about remembering who you are and letting that knowledge spread through every cell of your body and every facet of your consciousness, until your mastery of Creatorship is inevitable.

If you are ready to access your inner Master Creator, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to align with the natural cycles of Universal energy... If you are ready to show up in active participation to collaborate with Spirit in more magic than you ever thought possible... If you are ready to remember who you are and come into the full expression of your Self as a Divine Embodied Being...

Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Meditation prompt:

What would I like to create in my own life and in the world? How can I participate actively in aligning with this frequency through my BE-ing?

Righteous Living: Aligning with Flow

"Please help me to be in alignment with Divine flow, right timing and the Highest and Greatest Good."

Right timing.

I've been thinking a lot about this idea lately. In case you missed last week's article on Wu-Wei (the art of not doing), know that this has been a prevalent theme for me. I find myself asking, how can I be more in alignment with the flow of energy as it wants to move, rather than how I want it to or think it "should" move? And, in doing so, how can I align my own desires more authentically with the natural rhythms and currents of universal energy?

In addition to themes of slowing down and turning our energy inward, one of the signature energies of Autumn, according to Taoist philosophy, is righteousness. Let's look at this for a moment in contrast with self-righteousness:

Self-righteousness: my time, my reasons, my place, my people.
Righteousness: right time, right reasons, right place, right people.

Self-righteousness asserts a degree of ownership and control over the flow of energy, whereas righteousness itself infers a co-creative process of being in right relation with the flow of energy.

When you consider that distinction, what do you notice? What feelings arise in your body? I don't know about you, but when I consider the idea of right time, right reasons, right place and right people, it feels as though my whole body softens with a sigh.

What a relief.

In continuing with the theme of Wu-wei and the active process of not-doing, I am practicing paying radical attention to how self-righteousness is showing up in my life, and how I can surrender attachment and ownership and remove my sense of control from the equation. The sensation and energetic frame this requires feels much like what I find myself practicing when I work with horses.

Last week, the ranch owner asked me to demonstrate to a group of newcomers what it looks like to move a herd of horses with energy and intention. Entering an arena with five horses who are all doing their own thing, getting their attention and asking them to move cohesively as a group with focus and power is the ultimate practice in righteousness. (Oh, yeah--it was also my first time doing this exercise.) I dropped into my breath, noticed my posture shift automatically to a stance of grounded empowerment, and felt my attention move from my conscious mind ("how am I going to get them to do this?") into my subconscious, subtle awareness... the same place my attention shifts when practicing healing or psychic work.

Merely from these small changes, the horses shifted their energy and attention to me. Using the energy of their attention combined with my subtle awareness, I began to move my energy. The horses responded. As we cycled our energy and intention together, we created a feedback that resulted in the five horses running effortlessly together in a weaving pattern, with me simultaneously following their energetic flow and directing and shaping the current.

I'm not trying to be deliberately vague about this--the point is that it's not really a conscious thing. By being in a state of righteousness--reading their energy of right direction, right place, right timing and aligning myself with it--we were able to co-create flow and momentum. If I had kept my energy in my head and tried to assert my direction, my place and my timing, it probably would have fallen flat, resulted in the horses ignoring me or scattering and avoiding my direction.

Last week's very embodied experience of this simple distinction has me looking out for all areas in my life where I can practice righteousness over self-righteousness. The process feels like living constantly in that state of subtle awareness, and noticing how the universe weaves in co-creation with me when I allow it to show me the natural flow. So far, the result has been less effort-ing, less tiring, less time spent, and a whole lot more being quiet and paying attention, while making subtle shifts in response.

If you would like to join me in this ongoing practice of playing with righteousness with the universe, see below for meditation and journal prompts! Thank you for taking this journey with me into the subtle realms... 'tis the season.

This teaching comes from I AM Alchemy, and how to work with allowing energies to flow through you rather than "making" it happen.

Want to know more? Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Many blessings,

Journal prompts:

Where in my life am I living with righteousness? Where in my life am I living with self-righteousness? What in me needs to shift in order to align with righteous living?

Meditation prompts:

What does righteousness feel like in my body? Where does it live in my body? How can I consciously access this energy and use it with intention?

Wu-wei: the Art of "Not Doing"

This week, I am taking space for... "not doing."

One of the recent practices I've been playing with is the Taoist philosophy of wu-wei, which translates to "not doing," "not forcing," or "not striving."

This idea reminds me of something I heard from my Reiki master during a class many years ago: she said that Western society tells us, "Don't just sit there, do something!" Meanwhile, Reiki philosophy tells us, "Don't just do something, sit there!" We are taught to value action--even action undirected, merely for the sake of doing something--over taking a moment to sit and be present, without trying to exert or enforce ourselves on a situation.

The concept of wu-wei is not about being passive or sitting around. In fact, it is a very active principle. However, rather than channeling energy in the direction of what "should" or "shouldn't" be happening, the person practicing the art of wu-wei is simply noticing what is happening in present time, without trying to assert or impose their will upon the situation. Instead, this radical presence creates space to notice where energy is naturally flowing. If we accept that all things naturally move toward harmony and we ourselves are aligned with the vibration of harmony, following the natural current of energy in a situation will eventually lead to a harmonious outcome. Wu-wei demands that we release any attachment to the outcome of a situation while simultaneously being present in a state of heart-centered allowing.

Are you still with me?

I did a lot of "doing," "pushing" and "striving" this summer. On one hand, I got a lot done and learned massive lessons about sustainability, allocation of energy and how I want my life and my business to run. On the other hand, I worked myself into a state of depletion and overwhelm. Admittedly, elements of this were out of my hands. However, I ultimately had the biggest part to play in taking on more than was strictly healthy for my schedule and energy capacity.

Enter wu-wei.

In assessing where I can make improvements to ensure that I don't make the same mistake again, one of my solutions involved blocking off at least one week out of every month through January of next year where I do not take clients. These allocated weeks in my schedule will be a combination of deep rest (actual days off in addition to my normal days off, time to rest and recharge), deep work (dedicated days of working in my business as opposed to on my business) and deep listening. This last one is the most important.

During these times of deep listening, I am committed to quieting the outside noise, turning off my phone and being radically present in noticing the natural currents of energy in my body, my heart and my life. Knowing that I am aligned with harmony and that all energies naturally move in that direction, when I create space for noticing, I may follow my natural flow into harmony.

When I am "not doing," I may practice radical attention. When I am "not forcing," I may be in deep allowing. When I am "not striving," I may dance and flow with the natural currents of health, vitality and joy.

This is one of those weeks! I am delighted to see what will come out of these days of deep rest, deep work and deep listening. I promise to keep you posted on this little experiment of mine, and of course, you are invited to join me if you like!

Also this teaching comes from I AM Alchemy, and how to work with allowing energies to flow through you rather than "making" it happen.

Want to know more? Apply now for I AM Alchemy 2020

Many blessings,

Journal prompt:

Where in my life am I taking action simply for the sake of acting? Where am I "doing," "forcing" and "striving?" How is that serving me? How is it not serving me?

Where in my life can I practice wu-wei?
How can that serve me?

Peek Behind the Veil: What happens at I AM Medicine Mentorship?

Happy Equinox! On Sunday, I got to spend the day with a handful of my amazing spiritual mentorship clients. After a wonderful day at my favorite retreat center, I feel...

...full of energy, enjoyment, grace, and amazing food.

...inspired by my amazing clients, by my personal takeaways, and by the practice itself.

...honored to bring together a group of such powerful, aligned women who are all walking the path.

...supported by the epic land and its steward, Ruthanne of Heaven and Earth Retreats.

...eager to share the magic with you!

Here's a sneak peek inside what goes on during a magical I AM Medicine mentorship day:

We started off the morning with building community: we gathered around a fire to eat delicious snacks while creating connection, sharing our journeys and discovering how much we have in common! How many of us go through our lives feeling like we're alone and have no community, only to come together in a group like this and discover that there are other amazing people out there having the same experience?

We talked about the energies of Autumn, the equinox and meditated to receive a guide for our journey through the West Gate.

After a delicious, gourmet lunch, and some gentle Qi Gong (didn't get a photo because it's hard to demonstrate movement and take pictures at the same time), we headed back out to sit around the fire again. We all wrote intentions for what we would like to "consciously compost." Part of working with Autumn is about what are you choosing NOT to harvest, but instead, to put back into the Earth to turn under and replenish the soil? We then "composted" these energies in a fire ceremony.

Following the fire ceremony, we built a collective altar with what we are harvesting and want to create more of in our lives.

What an epic healing circle! We meditated, prayed and all settled in to enjoy a deep, nourishing healing experience. Everyone was blown away by the power of the group!

We took away some steps for guidance on our Creator path. Everyone's message aligned perfectly with their intention!

We closed as the evening sun was filtering through the trees and bathing everything in nourishing, golden light. As we enjoyed a round of epic snacks to help us ground back in our bodies, we reflected on the powerful experiences, aha! moments and takeaways of the group. One last group hug circle and we drove off into the sunset!

I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful, nourishing, inspiring retreat day experience! This work is so much FUN, and I get to share it with a cohort of passionate, powerful clients who are changing their lives and changing the world. It is truly an honor and a joy to dive deeper and deeper into this work. I AM Medicine is stretching me, pushing me and inspiring me to uplevel my practice and my craft in ways I never imagined. What a journey.

Would you be interested in joining my I AM Alchemy spiritual mentorship? Sign up here!

I'll be taking the next few days to rest and integrate! Catch you soon.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

P.S. Enjoy this Journal prompt:

How am I receiving now from the intentions I set earlier in the spring?
What am I harvesting this Autumn?
What would I like to turn under to be composted?

My #1 Piece of Advice to Healers, Coaches, Practitioners and Fellow Seekers...

My #1 Piece of Advice to Healers, Coaches, Practitioners and Fellow Seekers on the Path

Nobody ever told me this.

In my 15+ years practicing Shamanic work, 12 years practicing Reiki and 9 years owning and operating my own business, not one single person ever gave me this piece of advice.

Which I find hilarious, because it's one of the most common pieces of advice that I'm offering to my Spiritual Mentorship clients.

As I continue to work with more and more people in a mentorship capacity (healers, coaches, practitioners, both those who are new to their practice and those who are well-established but wanting to serve more), one glaring commonality keeps coming up:

"I can't ____________________ until/because _______________________."

I can't start taking clients until I make a website.
I can't start offering sessions because I'm not totally clear on my niche yet.
I can't do healing work for other people until I've healed myself.
I can't take clients until I've practiced more and am really good at ______ first.
I can't _________ because I don't have a certification.
I can't quit my job because my healing practice isn't where I want it to be yet.
I can't shift the focus of my work because I'm known for __________.
I can't introduce this new practice I'm really excited about because it means I will lose clients who are used to me serving in a certain way.
I can't ___________ because the market is saturated and a bajillion people do that.

Do any of those sound familiar?

We humans are really, really good at coming up with reasons why we shouldn't do something that will stretch us, challenge us and move us in a direction of growth and expansion. I'm not sure if healer/coach/service-types are more prone to this (or if maybe that's just who I hang out with), but I can't tell you how many people over the years I have heard give all sorts of reasons why they can't offer their work.

Believe me, I do this, too! I have been through all sorts of my own versions of these statements over the years. They still come up, but I've learned to recognize them and move through them with a smile.

How?

Okay, so this #1 piece of advice actually comes in four parts. Here they are:

1. There is no "arrival."

Many of these "I can't" statements are conditional upon some sort of "arrival" or achievement--the idea that we must reach some sort of arbitrary finish line in order to finally offer our work or service.  Here's the kicker: the finish line keeps moving.

The more we know, the more we realize we don't know. (Or maybe that's just me.) We think that getting that certification will finally enable us to do this work, and then once we have it, we think we need another training on top of that, and then  we need to go study this supplementary practice, and then go train with XYZ expert in the field...

Guess what: we are never "done." There is no "arrival." There is no "I am finally qualified because I have all the certifications and know every little thing so now I can officially open my practice and start helping people!!"

Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, or has stopped growing, themselves.

You don't have to have all the answers to be a good healer/coach/practitioner/whatever. And while there might be some fields where certification or licensure is required by law, for the most part, you probably don't actually need to cross whatever arbitrary finish line you created for yourself in order to serve the people you want to help.

In fact, by waiting to offer your work until you've "arrived," you are making yourself unavailable to the people who need you.

Which leads me to...

2. Just do the thing!

Yup. It's that simple. Just start offering your work. Don't wait until you figure out exactly what you're offering, don't wait until you have a website, don't wait until you quit your corporate job, don't wait until you've healed yourself completely (see #1).

...because the best way for you to figure out what you're offering is to get immediate, direct feedback from doing the work.
...because the best way to make your website is once you already have a clear vision of how you are supporting people.
...because the best driver and inspiration for you to leave your corporate job to do the thing you love is doing the thing you love.
...because we are never done our healing journey. It is possible to be a phenomenal healer and still be on the path ourselves. In fact, it is impossible to be a phenomenal healer and NOT be on the path.

By simply doing the thing, eventually you will...

3. Master your craft.

Mastery comes from practice. There is no shortcut. There is no other way around it. Stop looking for a magic quick fix.

...and enjoy the journey of discovery! What happens when we treat the process and practice as the goal itself, instead of any imagined end result?

• We allow ourselves to be fully present within the process.

• We treat ourselves with more compassion, patience and generosity.

• We treat others with more compassion, patience and generosity.

• We are able to practice our craft with curiosity and awareness, as opposed to judgement and comparison.

• We release attachment to outcome and take pressure off ourselves.

• We usually enjoy ourselves more.

• We get really freaking good at the thing we are practicing.

When we treat Mastery as a journey of practice, rather than any sort of state of enlightenment, it becomes more accessible to us and to our potential clients. I can guarantee you that anyone would rather work with you, the human who is practicing and mastering their craft all the time, than the all-enlightened-super-perfect-master-on-the-mountaintop. You've got this.

Which leads me to (most important part!!!)...

4. Let your I AM be your Medicine.

In other words, let your most authentic, fully expressed Self be your service. Yes. It's that simple. YOU, yourself, are the best Medicine you could offer.

As long as I'm making guarantees, I guarantee that there is someone out there who needs you, exactly as you are, to support them on their path. Not the version of you who looks cool on Instagram. Not the version of you who seems to have their whole life together. Not the version of you who has finally "arrived." (See #1.)

You, in your I AM, as your fully expressed Self, are ready to offer your Original Medicine to the world. Let that be enough.

Because it is enough.

Because you are enough.

This is one of the biggest challenges I have faced, personally and professionally: the idea that my Self, my I AM, exactly as I AM, is the perfect Medicine for me to offer. That it can really be that simple.

And the more that I have embraced my I AM and allowed my Original Medicine to come through in my work:

• I trust myself more than I ever though possible.

• I AM supporting myself and my clients through even bigger life challenges and changes with ease.

• I have dramatically upleveled my practice and my business to greater degrees of alignment, effectiveness and grace.

• My work is even more subtle, even more powerful and more enjoyable for me and my clients.

• I AM experiencing more freedom of choice, time, resources and abundance.

• I feel more authentically embodied in my life and my practice than ever before.

What would that version of your life be like? What would that version of your practice feel like?

Can you let your Self be enough?

If this advice resonates with you, I would like to offer you an invitation:

Next week, on Monday, August 13, I will open applications for I AM Medicine: the fall iteration of my Spiritual Mentorship work that begins September 4th. There is space in this work for you to explore your own I AM and claim your Original Medicine.

Are you ready to release any sense of "arrival?" Are you ready to just do the thing you have been waiting on? Are you ready to master your craft? Are you ready to let your most authentic Self be enough?

Any good mentor is walking the path with you, and I promise that I AM right here on this journey, too.

Peek Behind the Veil: What happens at I AM Alchemy Retreat?

I just got back from our second four day retreat with my I AM Alchemy 2018 students, and I feel...

...full of energy, enjoyment, grace, and amazing food.

...inspired by my amazing students, by my personal takeaways, and by the body of knowledge itself.

...supported by my wonderful Shaman Sister, Katherine Bird, and by Ruthanne and Heaven and Earth Retreats.

...eager to share the magic with you!

Here's a sneak peek inside what goes on during a magical I AM Alchemy retreat:

Every morning, we began our day with Qi Gong practice lead by guest instructor Katherine Bird. Kat brought us practices from her Medical Qi Gong studies to support the energetic work. During this retreat, part of our focus included working with the Three Essentials (Salt, Mercury and Sulfur) and our personal Planetary Constitution. Here, Kat introduces us to the philosophy behind our movement practice:

We learned how to calculate the personal planetary constitution of everyone in the class, based on the Alchemical doctrine of Planetary Rulership. This includes primary archetypal influences, personal "power hours," and supporting the energies with corresponding metals, herbs, colors, foods and embodiment practices...

...Then we studied  the necessary correspondences to support our personal Salt, Mercury and Sulfur Level Planetary Forces. I'm a double Moon plus Mars, which explains a lot.

We played games and found out who among us is competitive (hint: 2/3 of Team Mars, big surprise). We ate incredible food, we did intuitive readings and healing work for each other, we took a stargazing stroll and saw Jupiter, Saturn, Venus and Mars. We laughed a lot and witnessed each other through our joy and our tears. We examined our personal and professional practices in light of this mystery school and renewed our commitments to Self and Spirit as wayshowers for a New Earth.

We all took an afternoon of solo ritual space to Vision Quest and practice journey work to step into this next initiation phase of our course. Everyone worked some pretty powerful magic and came back with epiphanies, commitments, messages from Guides and new, powerful energies to supercharge the next stage of the journey.

The weekend included plenty of time for journaling and personal reflection. In such a beautiful setting, you can't help but breathe a little deeper, tune in to a more subtle awareness and just let yourself simply be.

There were signs and synchronicities everywhere! We received plenty of visits from animal guides, whispers from Spirit, and massive inputs of eclipse energy. Every sign felt like a message from Source, saying "you're on the right track. Enjoy the journey."

Plus, we got to wake up with this right outside every morning. Check out the view from my bed:

I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful, nourishing, inspiring retreat experience! This work is so much FUN, and I get to share it with a cohort of passionate, powerful students who are changing their lives and changing the world. It is truly an honor and a joy to dive deeper and deeper into this work. I AM Alchemy is stretching me, pushing me and inspiring me to uplevel my practice and my craft in ways I never imagined. What a journey.

If you're interested in I AM Alchemy 2019, get on the wait list here!

I'll be taking the next few days to rest and integrate! Catch you in August.

I AM Alchemy Retreat and Sacred Visions

I AM going on retreat this weekend, and I couldn't be more excited! This Thursday begins the second retreat of my year-long I AM Alchemy certification training course.

I find myself blown away by the amount of growth and change that has already taken place within this container. Each of the seven of us, by committing to this work for a year, gave Spirit the green light for:

• Massive shifts in energetic foundation and belief system.
• BIG life changes in the realms of career, relationship, purpose, home and health.
• More magic, more questions, more beauty, more challenge, more grace, more trial by fire, more support and more love than we imagined.
• Rapid upleveling of sacred practice, craft and work in the world.
• Profound energetic connection, intuitive awareness and awakening of innate knowing.
• Permanently altering perception of and bringing closure to old wounds and traumas.

...and much more. It seriously boggles my mind, even though I "knew" going in that this Sacred Vision would be powerful beyond anything else I have offered.

...and I AM so effing grateful.

Not many people know this, but I AM Alchemy almost didn't happen this year. It was originally supposed to begin in February, then March, but both times, other life challenges arose that required my full energy and attention. By the time my March start date rolled around, I had no students enrolled and no conceivable way to launch the course. In despair, I called the retreat center to cancel my dates and told myself I would try again in 2019.

The next day, I had a business review session with two friends/mentors/fellow seekers on the path, Andrea Leda and Chris Wilborn. I tearfully described to them the challenges and struggles, the missed start deadline and how I felt somehow as though I had betrayed my commitment to a Sacred Vision.

The advice they gave me pushed me to commit to my work in a way I never had before. They told me to push the start date back one month, just one month, and to put everything I had into telling people about my vision.  That same afternoon, I called the retreat center back and reclaimed my dates, and told myself that I would do everything possible within one short month to give my Sacred Vision a chance to be born.

...and it worked.

My course began promptly at its new start date in April, and this weekend we get to gather together in person for the second time this year. Three and a half months in, we have already witnessed and supported each other through massive transformation and growth. We have shown up for ourselves and for each other. We have celebrated each other's wins, supported each other through challenges and held each other in our Sacred Visions.

...and none of that would have happened if I hadn't recommitted to mine.

As we enter Friday's Full Blood Moon Eclipse (see below for more information and ideas!), we have the unique opportunity to relate to our Sacred Visions in a powerful, new way:

• What Sacred Vision do you have that wants to be born?
• What fears or challenges do you face around actualizing this Vision?
• What do you need in order to believe that it is possible, and to take action on that possibility?

For me, I needed a push from two people who believed in me and one more month to make it happen. I invite you to sit with your own Sacred Visions and let them whisper to you... they will tell you how they want to be born.

Many blessings!

Reclaiming My Original Medicine

Original Medicine, Part 1/4

About a month ago, I experienced a profound shift back into myself, which reconnected me with my Original Medicine in a way that I hadn’t even realized was missing. I’ve been keeping quiet about this as I integrate and process, but I’m finally ready to share. This is the first of four installments in the story of Original Medicine that I will share with you during the month of July.

As part of a mentorship weekend with my cohort, I had the pleasure of receiving a session of Equus work from Jesse Johnson. I had looked forward to this for the entire six months leading up to the weekend. I have always felt very connected with horses (both through riding them as a kid and working with them as part of my practice in recent years).

In Equus work, the horses serve as the guides and mirrors of the person receiving the session. I knew that whatever energy and emotion I was feeling would be reflected in the behavior of the horses. These horses in particular were all wild mustangs that had been rounded up by the BLM off federal land in Oregon. Their first contact with humanity had been incredibly traumatic (think helicopters and lassos), but they had since been rescued and gentled under the compassionate care of the ranch owner. I felt simultaneously honored to work with the horses, humbled by their powerful presence and reverent of their pure energy.

Our exercise consisted of working directly with the horses in pairs. My partner and I elected to go first and were matched with a gorgeous black gelding named Kett. My intention for this practice was to simply enjoy myself, to embody and emit my heart light and to connect with my Original Medicine. Our goal was to silently/nonverbally communicate and connect with Kett and with each other. There was no particular agenda to this exercise, but to simply play with the dynamic.

I immediately dropped into my heart space and felt resonant with Kett. I stood next to him and placed my hand on his withers, then issued a silent invitation and started walking. He paced next to me, turning as I turned, stopping and starting again as I walked. I felt completely present, joyful and aligned.

After a minute or two, I felt my thoughts shift to my partner and my desire for her to have an experience with us. Instantly, Kett stopped walking beside me. I tried to gently encourage him to resume our engagement, and even tried to amplify the energy to elicit a bigger response, but he stood resolutely still. I attempted to shift my energy back into my heart but found myself wrapped in thoughts like, “I really want my partner to have the experience she wants,” and “I hope she doesn’t think I’m monopolizing the exercise.” At this point, my partner stepped forward and formed her own connection with Kett. He began to walk with her, just as he had with me.

As I witnessed their interaction, I felt my energy return back into my heart and connected with my partner. I relished feeling her enjoyment of the experience. I then felt our collective three-way energy as both my partner and I connected with each other and with Kett. Together, my partner and I amplified our collective connection and made our energy bigger. Kett began to trot, then to canter around the arena as we silently urged him with our energy and intention.

As we brought Kett back down to a walk and closed the exercise, Jesse asked me what I had noticed and what Kett and my partner represent in my life. I shared, “Kett represents my connection with Spirit and my authentic light… My Original Medicine. My partner represents my Earthly support and physical structures. When all three (Self, Spirit and Earth) are aligned and connected, amplification and movement happens. When I tried to amplify the energy with Kett by myself, it didn’t work. When my partner and I worked together to amplify the energy, it worked and we got to run together. In order to create movement with my light and with Spirit, I need to bring in the Earthly support. Then we had momentum and it was easier to keep it going.”

Since this experience from last month, I’ve been sitting with that question. How am I living in alignment with my Original Medicine? How am I bringing this into balance in all three realms of Self, Spirit and Earth? Are there areas where this is incongruent?

You may recall that, a few weeks ago, I told you that I was remodeling my work and I asked you what you would like to see from me and my offerings. I have taken your feedback to heart and have made adjustments accordingly. This new direction feels far more aligned between Self (what I’m excited about and lit up by), Spirit (my authentic agreement with Source and my Original Medicine) and Earth (how I am offering and expressing this work, and what my community is asking of me). I will be sharing the result of this inquiry in two weeks (on July 18).

In the meantime, here’s what you can expect from July:

July 4 (today): Reclaiming Original Medicine (story and context for you)
July 11: What Is Original Medicine? (information and offering for you)
July 18: Introducing the I AM Project (special offer for you)
July 25: Introducing I AM Medicine (special invitation for you)

The Magic of YES and No

I love YES!

There's so much possibility and opportunity that comes from Yes. Going on cool trips, receiving gifts, trying new things... there are so many great things that can come from Yes.

But where does our YES start to feel like a burden?

We receive a lot of training on the correctness of Yes. "It's rude to refuse." "This person said Yes to me, so I have to say Yes to them." "If I don't say Yes, I will look bad." Even in games and practices, we are encouraged to say Yes to keep the conversation dynamic flowing.

A few years ago, I started embracing NO. I said No to invitations, offers, dates and gifts. I said No to people who didn't feel aligned with my values. I learned to love NO.

Recently, I've been playing with my YES and NO even more, when it comes to my work. As I am shifting the focus of my offerings and my practice, it means that I am moving away from serving certain types of clients, for whom I still hold a great deal of love and compassion.

These have been some of my most challenging NOs to date. As a healer, when someone comes to me in need, it pulls so fiercely at my heart.

Yet, when I say YES to these clients, I feel the burden of turning away from my own, authentic service.

I sat with this over the weekend during an intensive training. As I journaled about my business values and practices, one of the fears that arose was, "I cannot fulfill my most authentic service and still be available to the people who need help."

I contemplated this belief from a place of compassion... for myself, and for those who reach out for a kind of support I am not prepared to deliver. I asked myself, "What is possible if I let this old story go?"

The answer that flowed from my pen said, "It is possible that I can serve from a place of freedom, enoughness, trust, from knowing that I am still serving those who need me, trusting that I am working for change, and that those who are suffering will still receive from my work... that my practice holds the vibration of Joy and Freedom."

In other words, I could offer my NO with love. I could offer a referral, or another type of help that would be more supportive for the person in need. I could hold my NO as a sacred ally to support me in my authentic service.

And when those people come to me who are completely aligned with my work, who light me up to support them, I can offer my deepest heart YES. My fierce YES comes from a sense of freedom, excitement, conviction and inspiration...

...and that is the only kind of YES I want to offer.

Speaking of YES...

I would love to invite you to join me at Camp Yes this summer!

Imagine lying in a hammock under huge cedar trees and remembering what it is like to actually relax and be present. Imagine stepping away from all the noise to tune in to your inner voice and wisdom, while floating on a unicorn (I'm not kidding) down the river. This is a place to reconnect with yourself and your purpose through the power of Play!

What would be possible if you said YES to yourself? To your heart's mission?

I will be facilitating a playshop at Camp Yes about working with the magic of YES and NO! Come join me and a group of other amazing women as we say YES to ourselves and our most authentic way of being!

As a member of my inner circle, you get a special insider offer. Use the code ALCHEMY for a $50 discount off your ticket price!

Early Bird registration ends May 31! Register now to reserve your bunk.

See you at camp!

Beauty as a Spiritual Practice: The 29 Day Taurus Challenge

What is the "Beauty Way?" How can the Taurus magic of beauty, embodiment and sensuality support our healthy personal practice?

The guiding principle of Taurus magic is, "Beauty as a Spiritual Practice, and Intimacy as an Art Form."

I first began my conscious initiation into the Taurus mystery school about 4 or 5 years ago. This exploration came around the time of my recovering from an abusive relationship and its associated wounds. Practicing the Beauty Way was enormously supportive of my healing path.

But my investigation went much farther than that: as I delved into the Taurus mysteries, I felt my way through a new way of being embodied in the world. For the first time, I allowed myself to fully receive in all ways, and experience visceral pleasure and enjoyment.

Taurus is the magic of the body, and how we experience the world through our senses. When Taurus magic is expressed and healthy, we allow ourselves to live fully in the body, experience true sensual pleasure (sensual=gratifying to the senses), and walk the Beauty Way. Taurus is the magic of receiving and devotion to the Self, simply for the sake of enjoyment.

As I explored the Taurus mysteries, I opened myself up to receive more and more beauty from the world around me. I savored delicious food, I dressed in soft fabrics, I enjoyed full belly laughter, I cultivated rich friendships and I explored Tantra and new practices of intimacy. I indulged in pleasure simply for pleasure's sake. I established my worthiness to receive compliments, affection, money, respect and affirmation.

Walking the Beauty Way has influenced all aspects of my life. Now, I look for beauty not only in the apparent (nature, poetry, love) but in the not-so-obvious: the art of running a business, the musicality of skillful conversation, the taste of learning new words and the texture of new ideas, the elegance of a well-organized home, the beauty of a still mind in total presence... you get the idea.

Artwork by Chani Nicholas

How can we witness more beauty in ourselves, in each other and in the world around us? How much can we open ourselves to receive?

Last year, I gave myself a personal challenge to practice the "Beauty Way" during the Taurus lunar cycle. Every day, I made it a practice to find, appreciate and share something beautiful. This led to so many rich discoveries and new layers of gratitude. I was delighted by taking pleasure in my life in a new way! The more I opened myself to receiving Beauty from the world, the more I found myself receiving in other ways, as well.

This year, as we approach next week's New Moon in Taurus, I am inviting you to join me in this challenge! What happens when we look for that which brings us pleasure? How much can we open ourselves to fully receive beauty? I challenge you to practice the Beauty Way with me!

Beauty as a Spiritual Practice: The 29 Day Taurus Challenge

Challenge guidelines:

• The challenge starts at 4:59am on May 15 (Taurus New Moon) through 12:45pm on June 13 (Gemini New Moon).
• Join the Facebook group here.
• Post every day! Or as much as you like.
• Share a photo or brief paragraph of something beautiful you witnessed or experienced, and what you received from it/how it contributed to your personal practice.
• To be eligible for prizes, photos must be accompanied by a caption/takeaway. Paragraphs do not need to have a photo (but it is highly encouraged).
• You can post multiple times per day if you like, but for contest purposes, I will only count 1 entry per day.

Prizes!

• The person with the most eligible posts (most days walking the Beauty Way) will win one FREE 1-hour session of your choice with me! ($250 value)
• The person with my favorite Beauty as a Spiritual Practice post will win one FREE 1-hour session of your choice with me! ($250 value)
• The runner-up participants in each category will each receive one FREE 30-minute session with me!

I will offer examples leading up to the beginning of the challenge! Stay tuned for updates, ideas and start walking the Beauty Way!

Ready, set, GO!

Sacred Finances (Are you in right relationship with your money?)

Let's talk about money!

...did you just cringe? A year ago, I probably would have. Or at least given a reluctant sigh.

However, over the past year, I've been diving deep into my relationship with money, the financial side of my business, learning to love profit margins and paying myself a salary. Since practicing some very specific things over the past year, I have noticed a very significant change in my finances:

So far in 2018, I have grossed an equivalent income to the entire year of 2017, and I have netted almost triple what I netted by the end of last year.

I feel like I can't overemphasize this. Let me say it a different way. So far, in 4 months, I have grossed the SAME amount of money and netted almost 3X the amount of money as I did during 12 months last year. This means I'm on track to triple my income.

Why am I sharing all of this? After all, talking about money is generally taboo. However, I have a few very specific reasons for speaking so openly about a crunchy topic:

1. I believe that the more we avoid discussing something uncomfortable, the more power we give it. Every time we avoid talking about money, we become more afraid of it. Therefore, by bringing it out into the open, we can become more comfortable with it.
2. Healers and people working in the spiritual/personal development field especially tend to have wounds around money. "I don't deserve to be paid for what comes naturally to me." "How is it fair for me to charge someone to help them?" "My teacher didn't charge for healing work so neither should I." Sound familiar? All of these block us from owning our prosperity.
3. Finally, if there is anything that I did to help myself that might support you on your path, I want to share that with you! It is my mission to empower other people through my own life and choices. If some of these tools, techniques and resources might be helpful, I want you to have them.

In no particular order, here are some of the things that I have done in the past year to come into right relationship with money: (All of this is to the best of my memory... honestly, there's a lot of this that has been happening over the past few years in my internal work.)

• I consciously claimed that I wasn't happy with my current financial situation. (This might seem too obvious, but it's an important step. If we're settled into complacency, or a belief that we're "getting along okay," nothing will change.)
• I talked to money. I treated it like an entity with a unique consciousness, had conversations with it, wrote letters to it, and got to know it as a specific frequency, rather than an abstract.
• I took $3500 in hundreds out of the bank and meditated with a stack of cash. I held it in my hands, went through the stack and thanked every bill, set them out on an altar and acknowledged them every day for a month (read more about that here).
• I journaled about money. A LOT. I wrote about my beliefs around money, my relationship to receiving, my understanding of my own worthiness, and my place in the global economy.
• I moved to a new space that enables me to comfortably work from home. I now have a gorgeous office that is a 20-second commute.
• I made a living prosperity altar. I asked the tree outside my office window to be my "Prosperitree." I placed crystals around the base, hung a beautiful bird (squirrel) feeder to bring traffic to the Prosperitree, and I water it regularly with prayers and nutrients.
• I listened to Fredric Lehrman's Prosperity Consciousness. Repeatedly.
• I quit my part-time job as a substitute high school teacher and tutor. This job was barely bringing in any money, but I kept it around as a subconscious safety net. As long as I had it on the side, it meant that I had a fallback in case my business wasn't thriving (read more about that here).
• I released parts of my work and my offerings that were no longer lighting me up. It meant "leaving money on the table," but it also meant disengaging with old energies to make room for the new.
• I got very clear about who I wanted to serve and how I wanted to do that. This also meant "leaving money on the table," but it also meant that the clients who I did choose to take on were far more aligned with my work and my practice.
• I started looking at the longevity of my business, and building in practices that would allow me to do less, but be more effective in what I was producing.
• I got over my fear of selling people into my work by practicing it a bajillion times.
• I started working with a new mentor who has a healthy relationship with business.
• I started tracking and paying attention to all the nitty-gritty financial parts of my business, rather than just the big picture of income/expenses.
• I read Profit First by Mike Michalowicz. Repeatedly.
• I shifted from my bank to a credit union. This served to work with a financial institution that was way more in alignment with my values, but also enabled me to actually practice the techniques in Profit First and Prosperity Consciousness.
• I practiced seeing my business as the thing that would fuel and fund my lifestyle, rather than my life fueling and funding my business.
• I started honoring the actual value of my time, and asking for that level of compensation.
• I started budgeting for travel, for self-care and for financial independence.
• I got really good at being uncomfortable. ***This process started way more than a year ago, but it has served me so much in my financial work that it deserves a place on this list. The better you can get at being okay with being uncomfortable, the easier it will be for you to sort through your finances.

My best advice to you (if you want to come into better relationship with your finances) is to steel yourself, sit down and actually start looking at this stuff. Looking at your financial situation won't make it any worse, I promise! But it WILL help you feel more empowered to actually know what's going on with your money.

Here are some of my favorite exercises I did that I invite you to practice:

• Talk to money. There is no particular quantity required for this. Get a dollar bill out of your wallet and hold a conversation with it. Ask it questions.
• Journal prompt: "What beliefs do I have about money? What does that say about me? How do I want to feel about money?"
• Make a prosperity altar. It can be a living altar like mine (a tree or plant that feels especially abundant), or an interior altar of your choosing.

Here's to our prosperity!

The Acualization of a Vision

How can a little, gold matchbox symbolize so much?

This past weekend marked the first of three retreats with my I AM Alchemy students. This initiatory weekend involved a fire ceremony, and as part of the ritual items I provided, I had metallic gold matchboxes custom printed with my I AM Alchemy program logo and a special quote.

I love them SO much.

It feels almost over-the-top how much I adore these little matchboxes. I mean... it's just a matchbox, right?

When I shared these sentiments with my mentor, she asked what else the matchboxes might mean to me. I considered for a moment before replying that these matchboxes were the first physical, tangible items produced in relation to my program. Everything thus far has existed as digital material or ideas in my head. In a way, these matchboxes were the first time that I AM Alchemy has had a "body."

As someone who provides the invisible (Spiritual Mentorship and Mastery is a service-based business with almost nothing tangible involved), opening the box to see these beautiful, shiny matchboxes left me feeling a sense of joy, giddiness and childlike pleasure. I took one out and admired the gleam, the quality of the matches, the perfect printing of the logo, the saying I carefully chose...

I AM Alchemy has been in the creation process for at least three years. I have produced various pieces of the material, called it a few different things and generally kept it small as I continued to learn exactly how it wanted to be born. Now that it has finally begun as a year-long, deep-dive journey, these sweet matchboxes feel like a kind of "proof" that it exists! To me, they symbolize the years of inquiry, study, investigation, writing, trying out material, channeling, planning and TRUSTING that this body of knowledge needed to be shared. These matchboxes symbolize every moment of doubt I overcame, every time I wanted to quit and didn't, every tear I shed wondering if I could ever actualize the vision I had for so long. They are evidence to me that I am capable, that I have created something of value and that finally, this program has truly made its way into the world to initiate others into the path.

Yes, they are "just" matchboxes. But it feels SO good to hold the box, admire the golden sheen, and with childlike enjoyment, strike a match and witness a spark igniting to actualize a dream.

Are you interested in participating in I AM Alchemy next year? Get on the wait list for 2019, and you'll be the first to know when I open applications this fall! Plus, receive an Early Bird Bonus!

Journal Prompt:

What vision of mine is ready to actualize? What does it need for that to happen? What do I need for that to happen? What validation do I need to receive to "know" that my vision has truly been born?

Personal Accountability in the Face of Tragedy

Dedicated to Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra Hart

This article contains no links, offers or promotions. I want to focus on two things only:

1. Honoring the murdered Hart children
2. Personal accountability

(If you are unfamiliar with the tragedy of the Hart family, please read here and here.)

I am holding myself accountable.

When I learned about the tragic death of the Hart family, I assumed it was an accident. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe the driver had fallen asleep at the wheel or had somehow lost control of the car.

I knew of the Hart family largely through the periphery of my community. I spoke with Sarah once, chatted with Abigail and Hannah about their costumes and never again personally interacted with any of them.

I fell for the carefully curated image they presented. I saw what I thought was a group of happy, healthy kiddos running around, freely connecting with community and sharing their love. I saw the photos when they popped up on my feed, and never thought twice that anything might be amiss.

When I heard about the death of these children, I thought it must have been a horrible mistake. As more articles described the charges, the abuse and details of the scene, I felt taken aback that this tragedy was looking less and less like an accident.

I am challenging myself to say anything about this topic at all, because I'm not directly involved, I barely knew the family and I generally dislike engaging with Facebook as a conversation platform (*note: I originally published most of this article as a Facebook post).

...but despite all of that, I was unknowingly complicit in condoning not only the terrible abuse of these children, but of white supremacy, white bias, and participating in the suppression of people of color.

By not saying anything, I would be letting myself off the hook, in a way. But that's not how I roll.

I'm hesitant to make this about me, because the world knows we don't need more of that, but that's really my best place to start. If I don't hold myself accountable, who will? If I don't challenge my own subconscious ideas and background narrative, who will? If I don't address my underlying beliefs about privilege and racial justice, who will?

If I don't ask myself how I indirectly participated in the murder of six children who were members of my community, who will?

Most of my work focuses on the micro: how can I support people as individuals? How can I help every human I meet to feel more empowered, healthy, aligned and present in their heart?

I hesitated to share this article because this is a very macro-topic of social justice, but when I ask myself how I can show up and serve more fully, I can approach it from a micro- point of view.

If you would like to join me, please see below for three invitations.

Invitation #1: A prayer for Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra Hart

We call upon and invoke the presence of our own Innocent Hearts, Archangels and Ascended Masters, guides and teachers of Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra, to please be present for this highest of healings for them, for their highest and greatest good. Please support their process of transition. We ask that their karma may be cleared of all abuse, fear, trauma, pain and suffering incurred in this lifetime and in all their lifetimes. Please help them to integrate the lessons of their lives and their deaths, so they do not need to repeat this pattern again. We ask that they receive support in shifting their soul patterns to align with health, happiness, vitality, joy, expansion, ease and love. Please help them move through the veil with ease and grace, knowing that they are loved, supported, held, Divinely protected and guided. Please let them release all that which does not serve them, and receive exactly that which they need on every level--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, throughout all dimensions and throughout all space and time--so that they may be completely whole and healed. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the blessings.

We offer our deepest love to Hannah, Devonte, Abigail, Markis, Jeremiah and Sierra. We are so sorry for the traumas that you endured during this lifetime. Please forgive us. Thank you. We love you.

Invitation #2: A prayer for Jennifer and Sarah Hart

We call upon and invoke the presence of our own Innocent Hearts, Archangels and Ascended Masters, guides and teachers of Jennifer and Sarah, to please be present for this highest of healings for them, for their highest and greatest good. Please support their process of transition. We ask that they receive the support that they need in order to move through the Realm of Suffering Souls. Please help them to align with forgiveness, compassion, grace and love. We ask that their karma may be cleared of all patterns of abuse, violence, trauma, pain and suffering incurred and perpetrated in this lifetime and in all their lifetimes. Please support them in integrating the lessons of their lives and their deaths, so that they do not need to repeat this pattern again. Please let them release all that which does not serve them, and receive exactly that which they need on every level--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, throughout all dimensions and throughout all space and time--so that they may be completely whole and healed. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the blessings.

Invitation #3: Journal and Meditation Prompts

It is only by asking ourselves the challenging questions that we can push our edges and grow. I firmly believe that system-level change begins with the individual--meaning that our personal patterns and belief systems directly translate to the patterns and systems present on the societal and global level. If we wish to change the system, we must look at the core beliefs of the people in the system: change happens from the bottom up, not the other way around.

If we live in a society that condones white supremacy, white bias and child abuse, we must investigate each of our core, underlying beliefs. This is where it can get a bit challenging. Looking at something in ourselves that is surrounded by emotional charge, societal conditioning and so much tension and judgement can make anyone shy away. But if we never look at it, it will never change. So we must look at it.

The good news is, you do not have to share your journal with anyone! (I do, but that's me. I have a higher threshold for personal discomfort than most people.) Your innermost thoughts and beliefs can stay on the page--that blank paper is your refuge.

That being said, please take this as an opportunity to be honest with yourself. You might uncover something you don't like--some hidden belief or bias, something that maybe you wish you didn't know about yourself. This is the risk we run whenever we do personal work! And yet, it is also the reward. When we shine a light on our deepest shadows, it can feel profoundly uncomfortable. Please know that you are safe, it is okay for you to look at these parts of yourself and that overall, you will be more empowered as a result.

Let's start with the self:

What are my beliefs about my own racial identity? What does that say about me? How do I want to feel about my racial identity?

Now let's zoom out a bit:

What are my beliefs about other people of the same racial identity as me? What are my beliefs about people of other racial identities?

Let's bring us all together:

How do I consciously AND subconsciously relate to people who are the same racial identity as me? How do I consciously AND subconsciously relate to people of other racial identities?

What next?

How do I want to show up in the world in the context of my own racial identity? How do I want to relate to people of other racial identities?

This is by no means a comprehensive guide. I absolutely do not claim to be an expert on racial justice. However, I am an expert on personal work and investigation, and this is the best I have to offer: a place to start.

If you're interested in more, check out this resource that a friend sent my way: SHETalks WETalk: Race Talks for Women.

Reclaiming Our Innocent Hearts

What is the role of Innocence in the heart of the awakened Spiritual Warrior?

Let me begin by saying that I have never placed an enormous priority on the value of Innocence. To me, the word has often been associated with the idea of naïveté... ignorant of and unwise to the darkness in the goings on of the world and the human realm. I remember reading William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience in high school English class and picking up on the foreboding undertones regarding the dangers of vulnerability contained in the poems on Innocence. I associated Innocence with childhood, and subconsciously rejected this virtue as synonymous with "unqualified." Especially at the beginning of my professional journey in my early twenties, I was eager to not be seen as “Innocent.”

However, I received some profound teachings regarding Innocence last weekend during a deep meditation ceremony. This gift has since radically shifted my ideas around the quality of Innocence.

Let me share with you some excerpts from my journal about this meditation ceremony:

As I entered a deep meditative state, I began to receive images and information. At first, my guides showed me animals. I connected with (and in some cases, became) a whole array of different creatures, including cats, various kinds of fish, sloths, wolves, foxes, snakes, and so many birds. I noticed as I did so that one quality was ubiquitously present in all of these beings: they lived in Innocence, and in order to connect with them, I also had to be in a state of Innocence. I registered this as congruent with my lived experience of working with animals: in order to engage with animals and connect with them on the heart level and communicate with them psychically, I need to embody my Innocent Heart. I had never consciously recognized the particular flavor of this feeling, but upon further reflection, the energy is unmistakable: being in the presence of an animal (either in the physical or the psychic realm) immediately drops me into my own Innocence.

Following this array of beautiful connections, my guides showed me a series of very dark entities. I saw an enormous, shadowy mask of a being that fed on fear, and I witnessed how these Fear-Feeders cover the Earth, ravenously consuming the energies of human stress, despair, anxiety, anger and loathing… but their favorite food is fear.

I watched this giant shadowy shape with a feeling of detached curiosity. It aroused no terror in me and I felt no need to defend or protect myself. I knew that I was safe. As I regarded it, I noticed at its base the figure of an orange cat walking nonchalantly toward it. The Fear-Feeder had no effect on the cat. I released a gentle breath, and the Fear-Feeder disappeared.

“Fear cannot live in the Innocent Heart.” I heard these very distinct words, and again, I was shown the Earth. This time I saw that the Fear-Feeders easily attached to some people, but not to others. Looking more closely, I noticed that these dark beings hungrily feasted upon the energy of those people who had lost their Innocence, but seemed somehow invisibly repelled by those whose protection came from their Innocent Hearts.

Reflecting on this information post-ceremony, I find myself sitting with this question: What is the role of Innocence in the heart of the awakened Spiritual Warrior?

As a self-identified Spiritual Warrior, I have long associated this archetype with the qualities of courage, resilience, compassion, grace and the ability to fight and be fierce, if need be. The Warrior of the Light must be willing to face the darkness and work in the Shadow realms, though their ultimate power lies in peace.

Until now, I had never attributed the quality of Innocence to the embodiment of the Warrior archetype. However, after witnessing the Shadow entity have no effect upon the cat in its Innocence and arouse no fear in me as I embodied my own Innocent Heart after connecting with the animals, I realized that Innocence is the ultimate protective force. Instead of banishing the Fear-Feeder with an intention, surge of energy or by invoking my Spirit Guides, I exhaled a gentle breath from a state of Innocence and the Shadow being vanished immediately, without a trace or a struggle.

In addition to acting as a protective energy, the quality of Innocence enables deep connection. In the Innocent Heart, there is no room for shame, guilt, blame or unworthiness. Instead, there resides love, compassion, grace, curiosity, acceptance, joy, authenticity, and plenty of spaciousness to invite shared experiences. Think about young children in their Innocence: they love easily, feel no sense of shame or judgement, and effortlessly invite others to join them in their space of enjoying the world.

Is it possible to reclaim our Innocence once we have seen and experienced the darkness?

I firmly believe that there is no experience so terrible that we cannot heal from it and release the wound completely. In light of the messages received during this meditation ceremony, this conviction now includes the belief that part of our journey is to reclaim our Innocence, not from a state of denying or forgetting the darkness, but from knowing that it is there and choosing not to be afraid. When we can accept that the darkness, shadow beings and Fear-Feeders are an ever-present part of the energetic balance of the cosmos, without succumbing to fear or despair, we shall be truly free and empowered. In this case, the Innocent Heart is not naïve, but makes a conscious choice to embody its original nature. It does not deny the existence of the shadow, or engage it in battle, or fear it—the Innocent Heart is simply immune. Its protection is its very existence.

As I sit with this information and integrate the teachings, I invite you to join me! See below for a suggested meditation and journal prompts. Together, let’s explore our Innocent Hearts and find more ways that this quality of Innocence appears in our lives. The Innocent Heart chooses the path of love, and love liberates all beings.

From one Innocent Heart to another, you’re doing great out there!

Here is a suggested meditation ritual for you to explore your own relationship with Innocence:

(For the suggested altar arrangement, please do not choose items that you think “should” be associated with innocence! Let every selection reflect a specific intention and invoke a genuine sensation of enjoyment. If you need some support, call in your Child Self to help you choose those things that reflect your authentic Innocence.)

Find a beautiful candle in a color and scent that is the most pleasing to you. Let it be something that you genuinely enjoy and appreciate. (Bonus points for a beautiful candle holder or dish.) Set the candle, along with flowers, crystals or any other items of your choice, on a sacred altar space. If you do not already have an established altar, please consider this an opportunity to create one!

Place yourself in front of the altar, light the candle, and offer this prayer:

“I call upon and invoke the presence of my own Innocent Heart to guide me in love, grace and compassion. Please help me to fully embrace and embody my own Innocence and reclaim this natural state of being. I ask my guides and teachers of Innocence to please reveal themselves to me, so that I may learn from them and receive the wisdom of their teachings. May my heart be forever pure, and love forever shine.”

Allow yourself to drop into a meditative state and see what comes to you. I recommend sitting with this for at least 10-15 minutes, although please feel free to stay with it longer if you like. When you feel complete, you may close with gratitude:

“It is with so much gratitude that I integrate the wisdom of these teachings. To all the guides and teachers who made themselves available to me for this work, I thank you, I honor you and I lovingly release you now.”

Make sure to journal about your experience! See below for additional journal prompts. Feel free to repeat this meditation and see what comes up as you continue to connect to and build a relationship with these teachers of Innocence.

Journal prompt:

What is my relationship to the quality of Innocence? How can Innocence support me on my path?
When do I feel most connected to my Innocent Heart? How can I more easily embody my Innocence and share it with others?

Grab a journal and a pen. Don't overthink it, just write and see what comes out!

Spring Equinox

Yesterday was the Spring Equinox! (Cue Michelle's happy dance and sigh of relief.)

As we step through this Seasonal portal, it's an opportunity for us to bring closure to the most recent chapter and plant the seeds for new growth (see suggested meditation below).

Today, I took a moment to sit with some Winter energies that I am ready to release. One of the primary themes of this past season for me has been inactivity, immobility and some stagnation. Due to my shoulder injury, my movement practice (and thus, my personal practice) took a serious detour and I spent far more time than I would like inside, and not able to pursue my usual level of activity.

As I considered the lessons of Winter and the other energies at play, I honored the stillness that I enjoyed as a result of this slowing-down phase. Last Winter was very active for me, and even though this Winter felt a bit stagnant, there was also a greater opportunity for going within and experiencing quiet.  I invited the gifts of Stillness to stay with me as I move into this Spring phase, and gently honor and release the energies of immobility, inactivity and stagnation.

The seed of intention I planted for myself is around comfortable movement, activity, and grace. I planted the seed of healing, easy motion, physical strength and flexibility in my shoulder to let it grow and blossom within me.

What chapter are you ready to close? What seeds are you planting?

In case you missed it or want to add something to your Equinox practice, here is a suggestion for meditation:

If it feels comfortable to you, go outside barefoot and put your feet on the Earth. Tune in with your breath and arrive fully in your body.

Bring to mind the energies, events and themes of the past three months... what was happening for you over the winter? What are you ready to honor and release from this time? With your breath, invite these energies to leave your field. You may also offer this prayer:

Thank you, Winter, for offering me the lessons of ______________________. I fully honor the gift of these lessons, and I am grateful for how these energies served me. I now release the energies of _____________________. I fully close this Winter chapter as I step through the portal into Spring. Thank you for the blessings.

Once you have fully honored and released the energies from Winter, consider what seeds you would like to plant for the Springtime. Call these energies to mind, and you may visualize them as seeds in the palm of your hand. The seeds glow bright with the light of your intention. You may offer a prayer:

I fully activate these seeds now. Let the energies of ______________________ sprout, grow and flourish in me during this growing season of Spring. I fully align myself and my process to the Spring energies of abundance, fertility, new life and blossoming. Thank you for supporting me in bringing life to the energies of ___________________________. May these seeds grow within me for the benefit of myself, for all those around me, for all beings on Earth and for the Earth herself. Thank you for the blessings.

Place your hands on your body in the place where you would like to plant the seeds of your intentions. Feel them in your body and your field, and make sure to "water" them with further love and attention!

The Door of Initiation

How do we interact with our initiatory experiences?

Many times, until we learn to recognize them, we don't recognize our initiatory experiences until well after the fact. We perceive them as struggles, losses, challenges and opportunities, yet it is usually not until after we have passed through the "door" that we realize the true significance of crossing the threshold.

A lot of the people I work with come to me after they have experienced an awakening initiation: they have stepped through some sort of doorway (sometimes consciously, sometimes not) and now find themselves in unfamiliar territory where the world is not the same... and neither are they.

These doorways of initiation and awakening appear in all forms: job opportunities, death of a loved one, relocation, kids growing up, new people appearing in our lives, financial losses or failed careers, or even just waking up in a different reality.

How we interact with our initiatory experiences usually depends on whether or not we're aware that we are currently crossing a life-altering threshold. Sometimes it takes everything we have to choose to step through that doorway, and sometimes it feels as though we are dragged through it, kicking and screaming.

I have found myself in both of these positions: taking a breath to center myself, then deliberately crossing a threshold into a new way of being--sometimes with excitement, sometimes trepidation, usually both--and also, I have cried, howled in pain and clawed tooth and nail to try to get back through certain doors of initiations in the Shadow.

I feel inspired to share these thoughts today because we've all been here. And we will all be here again. Every single one of us has felt the squeeze, the uncertainty, the discomfort and growing pains associated with an initiatory experience. Learning to recognize them makes it easier to approach with purpose and resolve, rather than dread.

What would it feel like if you knew that your current experience was an initiation in disguise? How would you interact with it then?

Journal prompt:

"What door is appearing to me now? How do I feel about stepping through it? How have I interacted with my past initiatory experiences? How can I claim and recognize them in the future?"

Don't overthink it, just write and see what happens!

To All the Changemakers: Do you trust yourself?

"I don't trust myself."

After having 20+ Personal Alchemy conversations over the last two weeks, this was the biggest theme I noticed across the board. I spoke with people in the personal development field, Spiritual seekers, coaches and healers. I spoke with people at the beginning of their journey and well-established practitioners. Almost everyone, when I asked what was keeping them from reaching the goals they shared with me, answered some variation on the theme of "I need to trust myself more before I can ____________."

Let's let that sink in for a moment.

Why don't we trust ourselves? If almost everyone feels this way, if this is so pervasive and universal, why aren't we talking about it more? Moreover, why do we feel guilty about it?

This was the other theme I noticed: almost every single time that someone shared with me that they did not trust themselves, it was followed by something like, "But I know I should," or "I'm working on it," or an embarrassed laugh.

It's like we think everyone else has it figured out. I could have told you before having all these conversations, and can 100% confirm to you now: nobody has it all figured out 100% of the time. That includes how we trust ourselves... or don't.

Every one of these people also shared with me beautiful dreams, visions that they had for themselves, their lives and their work in the world. I heard ideas about opening healing practices, writing books, starting nonprofits and opening retreat centers. And I also heard just as many people listing self-doubt as the reason for not fulfilling these dreams.

What is the cost of not trusting ourselves?

One of the pieces of advice I gave to a lot of people (that I'll share with you now) is that we can treat these moments when we don't trust ourselves as opportunities to remember who we are. Think about it: if you just met somebody and you don't know them, you're probably not going to trust them implicitly right off the bat. But by learning who they are, how they make decisions and live in the world, you can determine if they're trustworthy.

I invite you to go through that process with yourself. During those inevitable moments when we doubt ourselves, it's probably because we've forgotten who we are, we've drifted away from our center and are no longer connected with our core value system and way of being in the world. From that standpoint, we view these dreams and ideas as vague possibilities... something that exists only in a theoretical universe where we have it all figured out.

Slow down. Take a few breaths, call your energy and your power back to your core, and invite yourself back into your body. Create a sense of safety where you are fully connected with your highest self. If it resonates, offer yourself this affirmation:

I know who I AM.

I know what I Am.

I know how I serve

I trust myself completely.

After that, try asking...

Do I trust myself enough to__________________?

Calling All Changemakers: Last chance to apply for I AM Alchemy!

The Certification Training Course in the Art and Science of Personal Transformation
April 10, 2018 - March 30, 2019

Application Deadline: March 13, 2018

Through our I AM Alchemy work, you will:

• Receive profound training in practical applications of magic, ritual and ceremony that will have a material, measurable effect on your life, your practice and your world through creating your reality and actualizing your intention.
• Learn the philosophy, principles and practice of Alchemy from a modern, grounded perspective.
• Become a magical practitioner capable of setting effective intentions, changing structures, altering reality and shifting the blueprint of your life.
• Bring your I AM presence, your true Divine nature, to full actualization and expression.
• Discover techniques to bring greater power and depth to your personal and/or professional healing practice.
• Participate in practicum (facilitate Alchemical experiences for your fellow I AM Alchemists during the second half of the year).
• Receive certification as an I AM Alchemy practitioner.

Are you ready to access the magic of I AM Alchemy?

The Nature of Service, and Free Content for You!

What does it mean to serve?

I sit with this question often, as I wonder about the role my work plays in the world and how I am driven to be "of service." To serve means to provide for, to present someone with something, to attend to, to deliver, to be of use. All of these may be true, and yet they feel very technical to me.

When I ask myself, "how do I serve?" I come up with some variation of this core answer:

I make myself available.

This availability looks very different now than it did many years ago, as I discovered the importance of personal boundaries and maintaining my energetic protection. However, it still means that I'm living my life in such a way as to offer my time, my knowledge, my insights and personal experience for the benefit of others on the path.

Being available in this way usually entails a certain level of vulnerability and transparency for me.

Through making myself available as part of my service, I have told stories and shared publicly about moments in my life when I experienced deep trauma, shame, abuse, fear and heart-wrenching grief. I have told stories that don't make me look good, don't paint me as "qualified" or contribute to my professional image at all. I have shared moments of uncertainty, questioning and times when I have later changed my mind.

...and I am happy to share all of these moments and stories with you as part of my service. I know that, in doing so, I am making myself available to YOU, so that you know that you are not alone in your experience.

It is said that a Shaman's life does not belong to them: it belongs to their Tribe. A Shaman lives their life in service to the health and well-being of their community, and makes themselves available for the benefit of those around them, of all beings on Earth and of the Earth Herself.

As I bring a new vision to the archetype of the Shaman, by doing this work, I reclaim that my life DOES belong to me just as much as it belongs to my community. In doing so, I redefine the nature of service: how can I be just as much of service to others while still being of service to my own Highest and Greatest Good? How can I share my journey with others in order to inspire, uplift and connect us all? How can I serve even more?

All of us who offer our lives and our work in Service may ask ourselves these questions, and continue to discover the answers.

Free Content and Resources for You

One of the ways in which I enjoy making myself available in service is through creating FREE content and resources for you! I have hundreds of hours of free audio, video and plenty of articles available on all sorts of topics. And it's all FREE!

Check out some of the resources:

• Free Monthly Master Classes on a variety of amazing topics! See below for March's class, and links to past classes.
• Shaman Sister Sessions Podcast (just made a new website for the podcast! Links to 50+ past episodes and information to sign in to listen to the live recording. Sign up for SSS newsletter to receive the weekly episodes directly in your inbox, as well as calendar updates with upcoming episode topics!)
• My blog with tons of articles and insight I've gained from my personal and professional journey.
• Follow me on Social Media: Instagram and Facebook for updates, stories and photos!