Portland

Are You Stuck in the Cycle of Transformation?

Are you feeling stuck or blocked in your life?

Are you trying to make shifts and changes, but feel like you’re slogging through molasses?

Are you looking around at your life, knowing that something has to change, but you’re not even sure where to start?

I’ve got you covered.

Let’s talk about:

The most common places people get stuck in the Cycle of Transformation

Here are the most common ways people get stuck in the process of transformation:

  1. Resistance and fear of surrender: not being willing to enter into the process in the first place.

  2. Cleansing, releasing and grief: becoming so immersed in loss that they are unable to evaluate or take action.

  3. Over-analysis: disconnected from body and heart wisdom, unable to move beyond thinking/planning into action steps.

  4. “Good enough:” taking initial action steps and stopping there, mistaking the middle for the end, not following through.

  5. Rejecting or resisting new energy: not allowing yourself to actually receive and experience your new self, feeling unworthy, avoiding new energy.

  6. Recreating patterns: trying to do something different without actually inviting your new self to emerge, end up recreating old, unhealthy patterns and choices.

  7. Over-attachment: holding so tightly to comfort and familiarity, unwilling to enter the cycle again, resisting transformation as a cyclical, inevitable force.

Do any of those sound familiar?

If so, Alchemy is the answer.

With Alchemy, you can confidently transform yourself and others with the power of ancient spiritual wisdom and practical skill development.

If you want to master the mystery school teachings and practical spiritual skills that empower you to heal your own body, mind and spirit…

If you want to awaken your deepest gifts and confidently facilitate transformation for others…

You need the I AM Alchemy 200 hour practitioner training.

In the I AM Alchemy course, you’ll master the 5 Transformational Keys that will help you truly transform yourself and others:

  1. Alchemy Fundamentals: Master the Cycle of Transformation and practical application of spiritual technology.

  2. Alchemy of Self: Use Alchemy to liberate trauma, dis-ease and stagnation. Come home to yourself and your sacred purpose with Alchemy wisdom teachings.

  3. Embody Alchemy: Bring Alchemy into your body and Earthly experience through movement practice, embodiment, qigong, breathwork and somatic cultivation.

  4. Spiritual Collaboration: Cultivate powerful, working relationships with Divine beings of Alchemical wisdom.

  5. Practical Magic: Master the process of ritual and sacred ceremony. Cultivate your facilitation skills to create powerful transformational portals for yourself and your clients, in 1:1 or group settings.

On top of that, you’ll get personal support from me, plus a cohort of like-hearted seekers also in the crucible of transformation and creation.

The course begins in March, and applications are open now!

If you’re one of the 12 people who is finally ready for big transformation and wants my help to make it happen in 2025…

>>>Click here if you’re ready to get unstuck.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

The Cutest Transformational Love Story

I am heading to a friend’s wedding this weekend, and their love story is both super cute and an awesome lesson in transformation and alignment.

(Shared with their enthusiastic permission. Yay love!)

The Cutest Transformational Love Story

She and He met in kindergarten. (Awwwww!)

They remained friends even when She moved away at age 8. There was always a connection and feeling like they’d end up together.

And then He got engaged to someone else.

But it didn’t work out.

They had a, “Will they? Won’t they?” moment, but He wasn’t ready.

Their friendship cooled off and they fell out of touch. She was living in Colorado, He was in Portland.

Then She got engaged to someone else who lived in Portland, and moved back for that relationship.

And that REALLY didn’t work out.

She and He reconnected as friends because they’ve known each other since they were 5. He helped her move out of her ex’s house.

And no surprise --

They fell in love and are getting married this weekend!

I have been so happy to have a front seat to their romance. And it’s also been a fascinating study of the process of transformation. She and I have had many long discussions about this wild ride.

Here are some of the key lessons that I know She would want me to share with you:

  • She got engaged to someone who was definitely the wrong person for her because she was settling. Even though she knew the kind of love she wanted to create, she doubted if it would happen. And she was super unhappy. But when she let go of the thing she knew wasn’t right, it made space for the thing that was definitely right. It was just a matter of timing and alignment.

  • Throughout the breakup and transition process, she experienced a lot of self-judgement because she was feeling depleted, unmotivated and not like her best self. But she recognized that she was going through a deep death and releasing cycle, and needed to give herself more grace, space and rest to support that process.

  • While She was still in the throes of ending the old relationship, she stayed aligned with her intuition. She told me repeatedly, “This feels really important and I don’t know what’s happening but I know I’m supposed to be here.” Even though she was very uncomfortable and couldn’t see what was coming next, she trusted that everything was moving as it should.

I am so happy for my wonderful friends! And I am so happy to support them in their journey of transformation, actualization and love.

Do you need help coming into alignment?

Are you going through a challenging transformation cycle right now?

Do you want some help with that?

If so, I’ve got you covered. The answer is ALCHEMY.

With Alchemy, you can confidently transform yourself and others with the power of ancient spiritual wisdom and practical skill development.

If you want to master the mystery school teachings and practical spiritual skills that empower you to heal your own body, mind and spirit…

If you want to awaken your deepest gifts and confidently facilitate transformation for others…

You need I AM Alchemy Mystery School.

If you’re one of the 12 people who is finally ready for big transformation and wants my help to make it happen in 2025…

>>>Click here if you’re ready for your own transformational story!

These Practices Will Save Your Butt (when you need them most)

Simple practices will save your butt when you need them most.

I am finally emerging from two solid weeks of a very severe respiratory infection. It has been brutal. I haven’t been that sick in over a decade.

During that time, the things I was doing to take care of myself got pared down to the simplest, most effective and most necessary. I didn’t have energy for anything else.

But here’s the important part: My version of “simple practices” is actually a pretty solid baseline of physical and energetic health tools, because I have spent years making them second nature.

Here’s some of what that included:

  • All the immune supplements and potions (mineral detox, 12+ different kinds of mushrooms, nano silver, superfood hot chocolate, electrolytes, vitamin C drink I made from Douglas fir twigs from my land, plus six types of tea and all the nourishing soups and broths).

  • Medicinal aromatherapy (immune booster capsules I made from six types of essential oils, Raindrop protocol blend made from seven essential oils applied twice a day, diffuser and steam inhalation of respiratory and immune support oils).

  • Qigong and movement practice as I was able (dredging the lung channels, Ringing the Heavenly Bell and other lung channel practices, shaking and clearing, short walks outside every day).

  • Energy healing (clearing and purging, microcosmic orbit meditation, I even tried a Shamanic journey during one of my feverish episodes but I wouldn’t say that one was terribly effective).

  • Of course, lots of rest and snuggling with my dog and cat.

For someone else who doesn’t have the tool kit that I do, my care routine may seem overwhelming or out of reach, especially during a time of crisis.

At some point between states of feverish listlessness, I thought about this in terms of the challenges people are facing all the time: grief and loss, depression/anxiety/mental health, physical illness, spiritual psychosis, mediumship awakening and more.

When you are in challenge or crisis, it will not be the fancy or complicated practices that save your butt. It will be the simple, effective practices you can do without thinking.

When we’re in crisis (whether it’s an activated nervous system state, a trauma response, or a depressive or dissociative state), higher cognitive function shuts down.

In those moments where you are in the thick of challenge and you need your practices to help you stabilize and regulate, you will not remember the complicated meditations or invocations, or the order of the steps of a long practice.

In the moments where you are sick, afraid, tired, in pain, dissociating or all of the above, the simple practices that you have done thousands of times will help you discharge and clear energy, stabilize enough to bring some cognitive function back online, and resource yourself sufficiently to take steps towards care and relief.

Here’s the other very important part:

Doing the simple practices over and over when you have capacity to learn them will ensure that they’re second nature to you when your cognitive function is impaired.

I guarantee you the only reason I remembered the ingredients to all those complicated recipes when I was sick and feverish is because I made them hundreds of times when I felt well and healthy.

The only reason I was able to dredge the lung channels and do other qigong practices was because I’ve done them over and over for years and I didn’t have to think about it.

The fundamentals of energetic fluency are very simple practices. And they are often overlooked or glossed over in favor of shinier, more exciting practices.

But the shiny practices will not help you when you need it most. In fact, the more complicated they are, the less likely you are to remember how to do them when you’re in crisis.

It will be the simple, fundamental practices that save your butt when you need it most.

Do you want to develop your energetic fundamentals to make sure you have effective tools when you really need them?

I hate to bring up the scary state of the world/country/politics, but it is indeed scary and probably only going to get worse.

If you’re reading the news right now and dissociating —

If you feel powerless, afraid and like you’re struggling to put one foot in front of the other —

If you are called to spiritual practice as an effective tool to support your personal empowerment, well-being and fortitude (viva la resistance!) —

>>>Book a call with me to talk about what type of support is right for you!

Direct Contact with the Mysteries Will Change You

Direct contact with the Mysteries will fundamentally change you.

Ironically, the more easily accessible spiritual teachings become, the more we have to go out of our way to experience that direct contact.

Yesterday in our I AM Alchemy group call, we talked about the two main ways we are learning and transforming through this course:

  1. Materials (modules, textbook, practices)

  2. Direct transmission (actually being in the Crucible of Alchemy)

It’s easy for us to focus on the tangible (materials). We can watch the training videos, read the book, do the practices, show up to class and session.

But the tangible materials aren’t the thing. The tangible materials are the way in which we learn how to access the intangible thing.

The materials are the tools we use to regulate our nervous systems, open our awareness, focus our consciousness and get out of our own way enough so we can actually feel and participate in the Mysteries.

This direct contact with the Mysteries is where we transform.

Not from watching the videos. Not from reading the book.

In Alchemy, the practitioner seeks to create the Philosopher’s Stone: the most perfected, illuminated state of being. (In pop culture, this is usually associated with creating gold and the Elixir of Life, aka Immortality Juice.)

But the Alchemist cannot create this perfected state of being separate from herself. She must enter the Crucible of transformation as well. She must surrender her body, heartmind, and soul to the forces that govern all of life.

In I AM Alchemy, we use teachings and practical tools to open ourselves to directly experiencing the Mysteries of transformation.

But the teachings are only the beginning.

Are you ready to be changed by the Mysteries?

I’m inviting 12 fully committed soul seekers that want to enter the crucible of Alchemy in 2025.

12 people who are ready to master ancient mystery school teachings and practical spiritual skills in the next year so they can heal their own body, mind and spirit.

12 people who are ready to awaken their deepest gifts and confidently facilitate transformation for others.

The course begins in March, and applications are open now.

If you’re one of the 12 people who is finally ready for big transformation and wants my help to make it happen…

>>>Click here if you’re ready to be changed by the Mysteries.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

Devotion Begins Where Inspiration Ends

Both of my wrists and my right shoulder were really sore when I woke up this morning.

At first I had no idea why I had this mystery soreness. I couldn’t think of anything I had done that would have caused it.

And then I realized that it was because I just picked up a guitar again 5 days ago (after barely playing for a very long time), got super excited about learning 2 new ceremonial songs, and overdid it on my wrists and shoulder.

I took today off from playing guitar to give my wrists and shoulder some rest, but I was disappointed to take a day off because I was *so* close to figuring out this one chord progression. Playing consistently for 3 days in a row gave me a taste of real progress and I was chomping at the bit for more! More music! More growth! More better sounds!

Why did I pick the guitar back up and play so much after a long period of no music practice?

Because I was really lit up about these 2 new ceremonial songs, and inspiration is like rocket fuel.

But here’s the thing: inspiration is inconsistent. It is fickle. I can’t always count on it to be around. That’s why I hadn’t practiced music for a few months.

I know that if I want to truly develop my musical skills (and not make myself sore when I play guitar), I need to treat my practice as a devotion. Finding a way I can engage with my music practice even when I don’t feel inspired will be the key to me continuing to grow as a musician.

Why am I telling you this story?

Because I have seen the same trajectory play out with my clients and their spiritual practice, over and over.

My clients get inspired and excited, which is awesome. They want to cultivate their mediumship! They want to be a healer! They had a visitation from a Dragon and they want to know everything about Dragons! They want to grow their Shamanic practice!

I love the inspiration phase. It feels so fun and alive and sparkly. It’s easy to make time for a practice when we feel inspired. It’s also a much faster learning curve at the beginning of a trajectory—when we go from zero to working on something, it’s exciting to feel like we’re making leaps and bounds of progress.

But inspiration is inconsistent. Every single one of my students and clients eventually hits a point where they lose touch with the inspiration. The initial fast growth starts to stabilize as they get into more subtle skill development, and it might feel like they’re not moving fast enough or making progress. And I get it—I’ve been there, too.

Devotion begins where inspiration ends.

Devotion—loving dedication—is where we root into our commitment. It’s where we come back to our core “why.”

When we make our practice a devotion, we keep showing up, whether we’re inspired or not. This is where we grow consistently. This is where we prove to ourselves that we are trustworthy and capable. This is where refined skill comes from. This is where we develop nuance and mastery.

Have you been running on the rocket fuel of inspiration, but you’re ready for more consistent growth and devotion in your spiritual practice?

I support my students and clients with their consistent devotional spiritual practice through Shamanic mentorship and Alchemy training.

Get Support:

Are you ready for practical support for your spiritual journey?

Book a call with me to talk about what type of support is right for you.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

PS — I host ceremonial song circles once a month or so just outside of Portland! Do you want to attend? Invitations go out to my email list. Sign up here to make sure you get the invites.

I almost stepped on this feather.

Spirit is always communicating with us.

Are you consistently receiving the messages? Can you hear the whispers, or only the shouts?

Yesterday morning, I was out walking and going down a negative thought spiral when I almost stepped on this feather. I think it was a primary wing feather of a Barred Owl.

Shaman Michelle Hawk in Portland, Oregon. Animal guide intuitive messages from barred owl feather.

In an extra dose of magic, the same thing happened a month ago: I was out walking, spiraling down a negative thought pathway when I almost stepped on a primary wing feather of a Bald Eagle.

Both times, I stopped, took a deep breath, and received the message: zoom out to see the bird's eye view. What does this situation look like from an elevated perspective?

Both times, I was able to relax, shift out of the doom spiral and into compassion, patience and peace. I made gratitude offerings, meditated with the messengers and went on my way feeling supported and inspired.

I am so grateful to the nature spirit messengers who help me come back to Truth, Love and Joy!

Do you want to cultivate your intuition and connect more deeply with your spirit guides?

Are you ready to fully open to the messages that are already coming to you, whether you can hear them or not?

Are you ready for practical support for your spiritual journey?

Get Support:

Book a call with me to talk about what type of support is right for you:

BOOK A CALL

Discounted Shamanic Healing Sessions Ends January 31

I am very pleased to offer three options for discounted 3-session Shamanic Healing packages, available through January 31!

(Beep beep, tooting my own horn for a minute): I am a very intuitive and skilled practitioner, with over 20 years of training and experience in Shamanic healing and journey work. I have helped a *lot* of people with work like this. Do you need this, too?

Here are the three options for the session packages:

Discover Your Animal Guide

Animal Guides are powerful Shamanic allies that offer deep wisdom, healing and protection.

With these 3 sessions, you will:

  • Discover the identity of your Animal Guide.

  • Receive teachings, transmissions and healing directly from your Animal Guide.

  • Build a powerful magical relationship with your Animal Guide.

  • Open the door for your animal guide to share powerful Shamanic visions with you.

  • Work with your Animal Guide to help you understand and express your core essence and unique magic.

  • Invoke your Animal Guides to support you in your meditation, energy work or healing practice.

Book this package with 1 payment of 750

OR 2 payments of 397.

Past Life Healing and Integration

Do you have pains, fears or patterns that seem to have no logical explanation? Have you tried everything to address it, but it feels like there’s something subconscious you can’t quite access?

This is often the case when people experience wounds or traumas in past lives. The echo of that trauma is etched on the blueprint of your soul, and you carry that wound or pattern with you into other incarnations.

Past Life Healing can help you:

  • Completely heal inexplicable pains, fears or patterns.

  • Release trauma blueprints from past lives that are impacting your current incarnation.

  • Resolve and close karmic patterns and cycles for relationship healing.

  • Clear past life trauma echoes that manifest as physical pain.

  • Release phobias, addiction or unhealthy behavior patterns.

Book this package with 1 payment of 850

OR 2 payments of 447.

Soul Retrieval Shamanic Healing

Soul fragmentation and soul loss can occur when people experience traumatic events, injuries or abuse. Soul loss can also come from prolonged stress or emotional strain, fear or grief. Societal distortions and oppression, ancestral wounding and collective pain can also cause soul fragmentation. Soul loss from past lives can also impact us in this incarnation if it goes unresolved.

The effects of soul loss often cause people to feel like “something is missing.” It can manifest as anxiety, depression, feeling distracted or disconnected from their lives. Physically, people can experience symptoms of soul loss as tiredness or fatigue, chronic illness, dissociation and addiction. People often feel disconnected from their passions and purpose, have difficulty taking concrete actions to do anything differently, and struggle with worthiness and belonging.

Soul Retrieval is a very powerful form of Shamanic healing work. I have supported many people with this, and clients have reported results such as:

  • Immediate relief from chronic pain

  • Sleeping well after years of insomnia

  • Reconnecting with inspiration and creativity

  • Feeling excited and awakened, on-purpose

  • Feeling peace and forgiveness with challenging family relationships

  • Being able to eat foods that had previously caused reactions

  • Being able to take concrete action steps for basic life care (cleaning, grocery shopping, exercise, establishing a healthy 3D life routine)

  • Influx of money from various sources

  • Feeling empowered to set healthy boundaries

  • Releasing old fears and limiting beliefs

  • Ending substance dependencies

Book this package with 1 payment of 950

OR 2 payments of 497.

Of course, if you want support with something else, you can always book a call with me to talk about your unique journey and what kind of support is right for you, or learn more about my work here.

Embrace Your Transformation: A Journey Beyond the Ordinary

Dear Seeker,

Have you ever encountered something in nature that stopped you in your tracks, making you question your perceptions and beliefs? Recently, I had such an experience with a beautiful snake on a hiking trail. (If you missed my last article, go check it out!) This encounter reminded me of the transformative power that lies within each of us, often hidden beneath layers of fear and societal conditioning.

Just as many people fear snakes, we often shy away from our own potential for transformation. But what if, instead of retreating, we chose to embrace the unknown? What if we saw our fears not as barriers, but as gateways to profound personal growth?

You might be:

  • An energy healer seeking to unlock your authentic gifts

  • Someone committed to personal growth, looking for practical spiritual tools

  • Going through a major life transformation or deep healing journey

  • Seeking to reconcile ancestral and karmic wounds

  • A new or aspiring intuitive practitioner, channel, or medium

  • An experienced spiritual seeker feeling stuck or plateaued

  • A medical or therapeutic professional wanting to integrate spiritual gifts into your practice

  • Someone with a "normal" career yearning for a meaningful spiritual practice

  • Involved in sacred plant medicine work

  • Feeling isolated on your spiritual path and seeking community

  • Called to embody a new way of being and contribute to global consciousness shift

If any of these resonate with you, I invite you to consider transformational mentorship with me. Like the snake shedding its skin, this journey offers you the opportunity to release old patterns and step into your true potential.

Through our work together, you'll receive:

  • Personalized guidance to anchor your unique spiritual gifts

  • Practical support for processing life transitions

  • Tools for trauma healing and energetic block removal

  • Assistance with soul retrieval and past life integration

  • Safe exploration of your intuitive and channeling abilities

  • Support in receiving and integrating spiritual initiations

  • Fresh perspectives to renew your growth

  • Help aligning your practice or business with your authentic self

  • Guidance in integrating spirituality into your career

  • Activation of your natural gifts and intuitive channel

  • Assistance in making sense of your various trainings

  • Support in rewriting energetic codes and healing ancestral trauma

  • Empowerment to embody your mastery and creative potential

  • Guidance in awakening to your Sovereign Self and Personal Power

  • Support in discovering and living your unique Sacred Purpose

Like the too-often misunderstood and vilified snake, your path to transformation might seem mysterious or even frightening at first. But I assure you, it's filled with beauty, strength, and wisdom waiting to be uncovered.

Are you ready to shed your old skin and embrace your true potential? I am opening a limited number of spaces for 1:1 clients to come do deep work with me. Details here.

Book a call with me today, and let's explore the transformative journey that awaits you. Together, we'll navigate the shadows and emerge into the light of your authentic self.

Click here to schedule your initial session with me. Your transformation begins now.

BOOK A CALL WITH MICHELLE

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk

P.S. Remember, just as the snake lives in intimate contact with the Earth, your transformation will ground you deeper in your true nature. Don't let fear hold you back—reach out today and take the first step on your transformative path.

Integrity and Multi-Lineage Practice

Good medicine travels. It always has.

The proliferation, adaptation and syncretization of spiritual practices, belief systems, therapeutic and medicinal practices has occurred throughout human history. Taoism was strongly influenced by Buddhism. Mystics and spiritual practitioners traveled across the Himalayas and shared practices and ideas. Western Alchemy, which began in Ancient Egypt, spread throughout Alexandria, impacted and majorly influenced Greek philosophy, spread through the Arabic world and experienced its heyday in Europe. Eastern Alchemy arose out of Taoism, and spread throughout Asia to join with the Alchemical texts in the library of Alexandria. The spread of spiritual practice and philosophy is not a new phenomenon, despite the recent surge in globalization of spiritual practice through ease of travel and the internet.

There are many paths to the top of the mountain, and all different traditions that abide by universal truth ultimately work with the same archetypal frequencies under the same set of universal laws. Of course there are differences in how these truths manifest according to the geographic/climatic/ecosystemic and cultural context, but the core archetypal frequencies are the same.

For example, the same deities appear in different cultures under different names: Athena in the Greek tradition is syncretized with Brigid in Celtic tradition, Iansã in Afro-Brazilian traditions such as Umbanda and Santería, and Oyá in Yoruba. Each of her faces is represented differently. She is honored in different ways according to the cultural context of different groups of people, on different feast days, with different offerings and songs. But the core archetypal frequency of her medicine is the same across traditions, and she appears to people all over the world to deliver her medicine, no matter what name they call her.

I’ve been reflecting on spiritual globalization more than usual lately in relation both to my own mixed lineages, and those of my students and clients. As a modern, western Shaman living in the United States, supporting people all over the world, the question of integrity in holding multiple lineages is vitally important and has always been part of my awareness. But recently, there seems to have been another surge in cries of cultural appropriation. I welcome the opportunity to reflect on integrity in my practice, how to support my students and clients in the most ethical, aligned way that honors and respects the lineages I hold, the traditions they come from, and support my clients in their aligned, integrous, multi-lineage practices.

I am a person of mixed, but mostly white, European heritage. My ancestry includes indigenous people from the Celtic nations, nomadic horse tribes from the Eurasian steppe, as well as colonizing people from England and France who came to North America. I am a Shaman and spiritual practitioner who holds multiple lineages. My primary Shamanic lineage comes from the Shaman Clan Baksa of what is now Hungary, but those people migrated from Siberia thousands of years ago, following the reindeer across the continent as the ice receded after the most recent glacial era. Additionally, I hold lineages from the Celtic tradition, Western and Eastern Alchemy, and Dragon lineages. These are the lineages I hold and have been initiated into, but I have learned from and studied many others. I have lived in the US most of my life and studied with Turtle Island indigenous teachers from different tribes. I have worked with teachers and lineages from South America, including the Huni Kuin people of the Brazilian Amazon, practitioners trained in Umbandaime and Santo Daime, Templo Ampiri and Shipibo lineages, to name a few.

My clients and students are also usually multi-heritage, multi-lineage people who have either already studied from several different traditions, or they have come into their spiritual or Shamanic awakening and want to do so with integrity. My clients sometimes feel trepidation because they don’t want to unintentionally hurt anyone’s feelings or be accused of cultural appropriation. As one recent consultation told me, “I don’t want to be that middle-aged white person saying, ‘I’m a Shaman.’”

Here’s the thing: Spiritual practice is universal. Animism is universal. Shamanism is universal (despite the seemingly common, erroneous belief that it’s only Native American or Siberian people who can practice Shamanism). And the vast majority of spiritual practices that we see expressed in the modern world are not “pure,” meaning that they most likely have been influenced by other practices, or even adopted traditions or ideas from other lineages sometime in the last several thousand years.

I take ethics and integrity in my practice very seriously, and I think there’s a fine line between honoring the traditions of a given spiritual practice, and perhaps misplaced dogmatic purism.

The reality of spiritual practice in the modern world is that the vast majority of practitioners will work with multiple lineages, or hold practices that have integrated influences from other traditions. This is especially true in countries with high populations of people from mixed cultural backgrounds, such as the US, but also true even in remote areas of the world. The person who studies yoga (originally from India) also studies Reiki (originally from Japan) also works with sound healing (from many different traditions) also has an altar to Mother Mary (Christian mysticism) and Sekhmet (ancient Egypt) and a medicine wheel (many different indigenous cultures all over the world) in their backyard. The Sweden-born practitioner raised in Germany studies TCM (traditional Chinese medicine). The Mexican-born healer will not only study curanderismo from their grandmother, but come to the US and get their massage license. The indigenous paje (medicine person) in the Brazilian Amazon serves indigenous medicine, plays African rhythms on African style drums, plays European guitars, sings medicine songs in multiple languages, and makes their beautiful beadwork from Italian glass beads purchased with US dollars.

Yes, spiritual globalization and the travel of good medicine is as old as humanity itself. I believe wholeheartedly that when done with care and devotion, it is appropriate and beautiful to study and hold multiple lineages of practice from different traditions. I believe that our study, appreciation and honoring of spiritual practices from around the world supports greater empathy, respect, and global community between different cultures and groups of people. I believe that people grow, mature and become more loving and compassionate through exposure to ideas, traditions and beliefs from many traditions. I believe that it is possible to approach more than one spiritual tradition with deep devotion, reverence and to receive initiations responsibly.

I also have seen firsthand that there are people in the world who do not do this responsibly, who have created a business under the guise of spiritual service, and profit off of their misrepresentation of lineages that they have not properly studied. There are people who are “spiritual tourists,” who take a weekend workshop and immediately turn around to regurgitate these teachings for a profit. There are people who consume spiritual teachings and then present them as their own, with no acknowledgment to their teachers or to the lineages from which they came.

I understand why people get upset when they see (or think they see) instances of cultural appropriation. There are definitely examples of this in the world, and plenty of people who are out of integrity with this. I occasionally hear from internet trolls who call me a “plastic shaman” because I’m white and I charge money for my Shamanic work, or they say I can’t be a Shaman because I’m not Native American, or all sorts of other things. Even though it’s annoying, I offer the benefit of the doubt that people are saying something because they’re concerned about potential harm caused, or that I might be taking advantage of indigenous people, and I’m able to come back to my compassion and care and remember that they don’t know anything about me, and they just see another white person calling themselves a Shaman.

I understand when people cry cultural appropriation because of their care and concern, particularly for historically marginalized populations (usually BIPOC people). When possible, I try to engage with these people in a conversation about my Shamanic practice, and address their concerns respectfully. Sadly, most of the time, people are not actually open to any discussion about this. They don’t want to hear that I’ve been studying and practicing Shamanism since 2003, and have apprenticed with my current teacher since 2009. They’re not interested in considering the possibility of healthy and responsible spiritual globalization.

I’m not saying this in any kind of “oh poor me” way. I really don’t care what these people think of me. But what I do care about deeply is how this close-mindedness potentially inhibits the healthy and positive sharing and collective appreciation of different traditions and cultures. I am concerned because of all of the people who might be going through a spiritual or shamanic awakening, but might be too intimidated to pursue training and study because they’re afraid of getting called out. I worry that the shadow side of this attitude is another form of rigid, dogmatic purism that says these spiritual teachings are only for a select group of people, and criticizes anyone who might simply be looking for help through a challenging time, or discourages someone who wants to step into service to their community.

As a multi-heritage, multi-lineage Shaman and spiritual practitioner, I know that there are many paths that all work with the same universal truths. I have walked several of these paths for many years and become very masterful in these realms. Some paths I will never walk in this lifetime, but I respect and appreciate their wisdom. I trust that all people will find the paths that are right for them, and I am committed to guiding those who come to me in the most aligned, respectful and integrous way as they explore how the truth of universal law comes alive through them.

Are you a multi-lineage practitioner?

Are you going through a Shamanic awakening?

Do you want to receive healing, training and support from a master healer and teacher who gets it?

Hi! I’m Michelle Hawk— Shaman, Alchemist, master healer and spiritual mentor. I’ve been studying and practicing Shamanism and other forms of healing work and spiritual practice since 2003.

I am opening spaces for new clients to come into 1:1 work with me!

***There are no prerequisites for working 1:1 with me. I work with advanced practitioners who have years of training and study and want personal support for themselves and their work. I work with new and aspiring healers and practitioners who want support in foundational skill development and processing their awakening. I work with spiritual seekers who are not practitioners and want powerful tools for their own healing and transformation.***

This work is for you if:

  • You’ve been studying energy healing or various modalities for a long time but it feels like something’s missing. You want to go beyond the certifications and modalities to anchor into your personal gifts and authentic magic.

  • You are committed to your personal growth and development. You want practical spiritual tools in your personal tool kit that are more than guided meditations.

  • You are going through a big life transformation and you want practical support to help you process, stay grounded and feel present/connected to your inner wisdom through the transition.

  • You are a practitioner, healer, therapist, coach or medical provider. You have been “in the closet” about your Shamanic, intuitive or magical self, and you are ready to stop hiding and start sharing this aspect of your practice.

  • You feel alone on your path, you don’t have any spiritual community and you want to be able to talk and process with someone who doesn’t think you’re bonkers.

  • You want support from a grounded spiritual mentor who has been on this path for a long time, who can help you see what you might be missing and give you specific tools, teachings and guidance that is aligned for you as you grow and transform.

If any of this sounds like you, I invite you to step into 1:1 work with me.

Our sessions together may include some combination of the following:

  • Shamanic and energy healing work.

  • Teaching and instruction about specific principles and tools of spiritual practice from Shamanism, Alchemy, and other lineages.

  • Shamanic journeying, intuitive and mediumship practice to connect with the spirits for guidance and healing.

  • Personal ritual or ceremony.

  • Learning and practicing embodiment and movement work, consciousness practices, energetic techniques.

  • Personal guidance, processing, support and reflection.

  • Working with your spiritual business or soul-aligned practice (designing your new program, making a retreat budget, updating your website and your intake forms).

With Transformational Mentorship, you get me in your corner for 6 months of personal support. Check out all the details here, and when you’re ready, book a call with me to discuss if this work is the right fit for you!

You can also book an in-person 1:1 retreat with me at my temple home on sacred forested land just outside of Portland, OR! Book a call with me to discuss your personal retreat.

If you’re ready to take inspired action on your healing and transformation journey…

If you’re reading this email and thinking “Yes, that’s me”…

If you want me in your corner for personal support and guidance…

Use this link to put yourself on my calendar.

I look forward to speaking with you soon!

Freedom Through Commitment

What are you committed to this year?


Those of us who follow the path of Spirit know what it feels like to commit to something that defies logical explanation.

Even if it's terrifying. Even if it goes against everything we thought we knew.

When I AM Alchemy was asking to be born in 2017, I was apprehensive. At that time, offering a year-long course tied to a syllabus sounded constricting and limiting. One of my core values of practice is freedom, flexibility and immediacy, so I can follow the emergent currents of energy and the illuminated path in my personal and professional practice. Sometimes that can change from year to year, or season to season.

Fellow Seeker, I'm sure you understand. When Spirit is calling, we heed the call.

But the thing about this course is that it has a life force of its own, and as such, it has a process of evolution and growth within the body of knowledge itself. I AM Alchemy is not a dry, scripted teaching from a dusty book. It is a vital, living entity that has its own energy flow and plan. Someone asked me during the early years of I AM Alchemy how I organized and offered my teachings, and the most honest response was simply, "I listen to what wants to be shared."

This is the difference between teaching and stewardship. Yes, I have a plan. Yes, I have a course outline and recorded videos and documents and structure. But more important than this is the capacity to listen and to transmit what wants to come through, and knowing that it will be exactly the right thing for my students.

Even now, as I have shifted from teaching the classes live to sharing the teachings over video recordings, there is flexibility and freedom for real-time transmissions, and I am always listening.

Ultimately, my role in this process is to simply pass along the messages. As a steward of this mystery school, part of my job is to be quiet and allow myself to be guided, so that I can guide my students in turn. This is my commitment to Spirit and to Alchemy itself, and as long as I practice this work, I honor this commitment. As long as I honor this commitment, I have the freedom I desire in my practice.

My commitments to this body of knowledge allow me to be an active participant in the mystery, which always feels like the most illuminated path.

In preparation for one of the I AM Alchemy course retreats, I ask my students to write their own commitments. This practice is our way of making a contract of sorts with ourselves and with the work. We witness each other in our commitments during ceremony, and the power that comes from this practice always blows everyone away.

What happens when we make these commitments? What happens when we spell out in writing what we are signing up for as an Alchemist on this planet?
 
Seeker, what are your commitments?

Here are some of mine. Check out below for the prompts I offer my students if you would like to write your own.

As an Alchemist, I commit...


As an Alchemist, I commit to holding myself in trust and compassion through change as I discover and know fully all parts of my Self. I commit to bringing magic to every facet of my life.

As an Alchemist, I commit to bringing more subtlety, intentionality, precision and grace to my work. I commit to redefining my personal practice to align more supportively and harmoniously with my well-being.

As an Alchemist, I commit to carrying out the operations of the Sun, Moon and Earth here on this planet for the Highest and Greatest Good of all beings.

As an Alchemist, I commit to being an instrument and steward of this body of knowledge, to ensuring its path in the modern world, and to honoring and participating in this cycle, always. I commit to holding the torch so that those who are ready may find the path. I commit to listening always to this work, and offering teachings in alignment with the instruction I receive.

 
If you are ready to step into your own commitments to the path, then I AM Alchemy is right for you. If you are ready to answer your deep soul calling to live your purpose... If you are ready to step into fulfillment of your Soul Contract and commitments... If you are ready to remember who you truly are, claim your I AM and inspire others to do the same... If you are ready to walk the Earth as a Divine Embodied Being...
 
...submit your application for I AM Alchemy now.

I AM Alchemy begins March 17. Are you ready to commit?

Journal prompts:


What are my commitments to my Self?
What are my commitments to my practice?
What are my commitments to Spirit?
What do I need in order to honor those commitments?

I AM Alchemy:
Study the Mystery
Practice Transformation
Actualize your Radiance

Your Spiritual Growth and Education in 2024

Happy Gregorian new year, friends and like-hearted seekers!

If you're taking the opportunity to vision, set goals and orient yourself for the year ahead, good for you! (If not, that's fine, too.)

If you're like me, you probably have a few courses or retreats on your radar that you would love to do, but need to plan, schedule and budget for.

Now is a great time to set goals and intentions for spiritual growth and skill development in conjunction with year planning.
 

Here are some helpful things to consider. Ask yourself:

  1. What are my priorities for my spiritual path this year? (For example: skill development and certification in a particular modality, personalized 1:1 mentorship with a teacher, sample from a buffet of different modalities, get your personal practice really dialed in, etc.)

  2. What training, education, support and/or mentorship would be most supportive for me to address those priorities? (For example: go on that retreat, work with that teacher you've been following for years, take lots of mini courses, etc.)

  3. What prerequisites and preparation do I need to pursue those priorities? (For example: are there certain courses that require prerequisites? Is there advance preparation required for a retreat?)

  4. What commitment of time and energy am I willing to allocate to my spiritual priorities this year? (This can be flexible as necessary, but it's helpful to realistically assess your availability and be honest with yourself about your capacity. For example: take a year-long course and devote up to 5 hours per week to study and practice, take a 7-week course in the fall when kids go back to school, go on a 10-day retreat once a year, 10 minutes of daily personal practice, etc.)

  5. What is my budget for my spiritual priorities this year? (This can be flexible as necessary, but I have found it to be helpful especially when planning for higher-investment training, retreats, mentorship and tuition. I have a continuing education budget in my business and consistently spend 5-10% of my gross income on courses, skill development and healing work for my own spiritual practice and so that I can grow as a practitioner and serve my clients more effectively. For example: you want to take a course that costs $15k but offers monthly payments that work for your budget, you can comfortably spend $200 per month attending local events and circles, you set aside $50 per month in your budget to take that $400 course, etc.)

  6. What deadlines, prices and scheduling/3D logistical information do I need to track this year? (For example: the course you want to take begins in September and costs $X, so you need to look for early bird registration starting in July and allocate $Y in your monthly budget so you're ready to pay in full, and block the October retreat dates off in your calendar and request time off from work for that long weekend.)

I regularly consider and review these questions when deciding how to plan and where to invest in my spiritual path and skill development. I hope this helps you!
 

Is working with me on your radar for 2024?


Here are some of the ways you can work with me this year for your path, spiritual mentorship, continuing education and skill development:
 

1:1 Transformational Mentorship

  • Topics and skills: Personalized mentorship and healing work for your spiritual path. Includes energy healing work, developing your unique spiritual and intuitive gifts, personal practice, movement and sound, support for your spiritual and/or healing business practice. Includes training as needed from my many bodies of knowledge, including energetic mastery, shamanic practice, mediumship, Alchemy and more.

  • Prerequisites and preparation: None required.

  • Time commitment: 2 sessions per month for 6 months, plus personal practice, homework and integration between sessions (average 3-7 hours per week).

  • Budget: Pay in full $4500 or six monthly payments of $797.

  • 3D considerations: Rolling enrollment according to vacancies in my calendar (apply anytime). Consultation and application required. Sessions are virtual or in-person near Portland, OR.

 

I AM Alchemy

  • Topics and skills: Shamanic Alchemy apprenticeship. "Spiritual grad school." Includes online curriculum, live group classes, 1:1 mentorship sessions* and four 4-day, in-person retreats* (*with Apprentice Path).

  • Prerequisites and preparation: For people of intermediate to advanced spiritual background. Recommended that candidates have foundations of energy healing and personal practice.

  • Time commitment: 3-6 hours per week for one year, plus four 4-day, in-person retreats*.

  • Budget: Student path (classes only) $3197. Apprentice path (classes, 1:1 sessions and retreats) $9497 plus retreat lodging and travel to and from retreats. Payment plans available.

  • 3D considerations: begins March 17, 2024. Closed cohort (enrolls once a year), accepting applications now. Year-long apprenticeship. In-person retreats held near Portland, OR. Fly into PDX. Consultation and application required.

 

Dragon Initiation

  • Topics and skills: Initiation into the Sapphire Dragon Line. Includes supplementary training and transmissions from the Dragons.

  • Prerequisites and preparation: The Dragons have been calling you and guiding you to this initiation.

  • Time commitment: 3-day in-person retreat plus three 1:1 sessions, to be completed within 6 weeks.

  • Budget: $4500 plus lodging for retreat, travel to and from retreat. Payment plan available.

  • 3D considerations: Rolling enrollment (apply anytime). Consultation and application required. Retreats held near Portland, OR. Fly into PDX.

 

Sacred Ecology

  • Topics and skills: How to work with land and nature spirits, Shamanic practice, geomancy, foundations of ecology.

  • Prerequisites and preparation: None required.

  • Time commitment: Seven weekly 90 minute classes, plus optional 1:1 sessions.

  • Budget: $777 (classes only) or $1697 (classes plus 1:1 sessions). Payment plans available.

  • 3D considerations: Closed cohort (enrolls once a year). Begins May 2024, Early Bird enrollment and discount begins April 2024. Online course, optional 1:1 sessions held virtually.

Personal Retreat

  • Topics and skills: Add an in-person 1:1 retreat to our work together. Includes energy healing work, qigong and movement practice, shamanic journey, nature time, support for your spiritual and/or healing business practice. Includes training as needed from my many bodies of knowledge, including energetic mastery, shamanic practice, mediumship, Alchemy and more.

  • Prerequisites and preparation: 1:1 mentorship with me.

  • Time commitment: 3 or 4-day in-person retreat.

  • Budget: $3600-$4500 plus lodging for retreat, travel to and from retreat. Payment plan available.

  • 3D considerations: Rolling enrollment, add personal retreats to other work with me for personal healing and mentorship work. Retreats held near Portland, OR. Fly into PDX.


Best wishes for your spiritual growth and skill development in 2024!

My #1 Piece of Advice to Healers, Coaches, Practitioners and Fellow Seekers...

My #1 Piece of Advice to Healers, Coaches, Practitioners and Fellow Seekers on the Path

Nobody ever told me this.

In my 15+ years practicing Shamanic work, 12 years practicing Reiki and 9 years owning and operating my own business, not one single person ever gave me this piece of advice.

Which I find hilarious, because it's one of the most common pieces of advice that I'm offering to my Spiritual Mentorship clients.

As I continue to work with more and more people in a mentorship capacity (healers, coaches, practitioners, both those who are new to their practice and those who are well-established but wanting to serve more), one glaring commonality keeps coming up:

"I can't ____________________ until/because _______________________."

I can't start taking clients until I make a website.
I can't start offering sessions because I'm not totally clear on my niche yet.
I can't do healing work for other people until I've healed myself.
I can't take clients until I've practiced more and am really good at ______ first.
I can't _________ because I don't have a certification.
I can't quit my job because my healing practice isn't where I want it to be yet.
I can't shift the focus of my work because I'm known for __________.
I can't introduce this new practice I'm really excited about because it means I will lose clients who are used to me serving in a certain way.
I can't ___________ because the market is saturated and a bajillion people do that.

Do any of those sound familiar?

We humans are really, really good at coming up with reasons why we shouldn't do something that will stretch us, challenge us and move us in a direction of growth and expansion. I'm not sure if healer/coach/service-types are more prone to this (or if maybe that's just who I hang out with), but I can't tell you how many people over the years I have heard give all sorts of reasons why they can't offer their work.

Believe me, I do this, too! I have been through all sorts of my own versions of these statements over the years. They still come up, but I've learned to recognize them and move through them with a smile.

How?

Okay, so this #1 piece of advice actually comes in four parts. Here they are:

1. There is no "arrival."

Many of these "I can't" statements are conditional upon some sort of "arrival" or achievement--the idea that we must reach some sort of arbitrary finish line in order to finally offer our work or service.  Here's the kicker: the finish line keeps moving.

The more we know, the more we realize we don't know. (Or maybe that's just me.) We think that getting that certification will finally enable us to do this work, and then once we have it, we think we need another training on top of that, and then  we need to go study this supplementary practice, and then go train with XYZ expert in the field...

Guess what: we are never "done." There is no "arrival." There is no "I am finally qualified because I have all the certifications and know every little thing so now I can officially open my practice and start helping people!!"

Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, or has stopped growing, themselves.

You don't have to have all the answers to be a good healer/coach/practitioner/whatever. And while there might be some fields where certification or licensure is required by law, for the most part, you probably don't actually need to cross whatever arbitrary finish line you created for yourself in order to serve the people you want to help.

In fact, by waiting to offer your work until you've "arrived," you are making yourself unavailable to the people who need you.

Which leads me to...

2. Just do the thing!

Yup. It's that simple. Just start offering your work. Don't wait until you figure out exactly what you're offering, don't wait until you have a website, don't wait until you quit your corporate job, don't wait until you've healed yourself completely (see #1).

...because the best way for you to figure out what you're offering is to get immediate, direct feedback from doing the work.
...because the best way to make your website is once you already have a clear vision of how you are supporting people.
...because the best driver and inspiration for you to leave your corporate job to do the thing you love is doing the thing you love.
...because we are never done our healing journey. It is possible to be a phenomenal healer and still be on the path ourselves. In fact, it is impossible to be a phenomenal healer and NOT be on the path.

By simply doing the thing, eventually you will...

3. Master your craft.

Mastery comes from practice. There is no shortcut. There is no other way around it. Stop looking for a magic quick fix.

...and enjoy the journey of discovery! What happens when we treat the process and practice as the goal itself, instead of any imagined end result?

  • We allow ourselves to be fully present within the process.

  • We treat ourselves with more compassion, patience and generosity.

  • We treat others with more compassion, patience and generosity.

  • We are able to practice our craft with curiosity and awareness, as opposed to judgement and comparison.

  • We release attachment to outcome and take pressure off ourselves.

  • We usually enjoy ourselves more.

  • We get really freaking good at the thing we are practicing.

When we treat Mastery as a journey of practice, rather than any sort of state of enlightenment, it becomes more accessible to us and to our potential clients. I can guarantee you that anyone would rather work with you, the human who is practicing and mastering their craft all the time, than the all-enlightened-super-perfect-master-on-the-mountaintop. You've got this.

Which leads me to (most important part!!!)...

4. Let your I AM be your Medicine.

In other words, let your most authentic, fully expressed Self be your service. Yes. It's that simple. YOU, yourself, are the best Medicine you could offer.

As long as I'm making guarantees, I guarantee that there is someone out there who needs you, exactly as you are, to support them on their path. Not the version of you who looks cool on Instagram. Not the version of you who seems to have their whole life together. Not the version of you who has finally "arrived." (See #1.)

You, in your I AM, as your fully expressed Self, are ready to offer your Original Medicine to the world. Let that be enough.

Because it is enough.

Because you are enough.

This is one of the biggest challenges I have faced, personally and professionally: the idea that my Self, my I AM, exactly as I AM, is the perfect Medicine for me to offer. That it can really be that simple.

And the more that I have embraced my I AM and allowed my Original Medicine to come through in my work:

  • I trust myself more than I ever though possible.

  • I AM supporting myself and my clients through even bigger life challenges and changes with ease.

  • I have dramatically upleveled my practice and my business to greater degrees of alignment, effectiveness and grace.

  • My work is even more subtle, even more powerful and more enjoyable for me and my clients.

  • I AM experiencing more freedom of choice, time, resources and abundance.

  • I feel more authentically embodied in my life and my practice than ever before.

What would that version of your life be like? What would that version of your practice feel like?

Can you let your Self be enough?

If this advice resonates with you, I would like to offer you an invitation:

Next week, on Monday, August 13, I will open applications for I AM Medicine: the fall iteration of my Spiritual Mentorship work that begins September 4th. There is space in this work for you to explore your own I AM and claim your Original Medicine.

Are you ready to release any sense of "arrival?" Are you ready to just do the thing you have been waiting on? Are you ready to master your craft? Are you ready to let your most authentic Self be enough?

Any good mentor is walking the path with you, and I promise that I AM right here on this journey, too.

Peek Behind the Veil: What happens at I AM Alchemy Retreat?

I just got back from our second four day retreat with my I AM Alchemy 2018 students, and I feel...

...full of energy, enjoyment, grace, and amazing food.

...inspired by my amazing students, by my personal takeaways, and by the body of knowledge itself.

...supported by my wonderful Shaman Sister, Katherine Bird, and by Ruthanne and Heaven and Earth Retreats.

...eager to share the magic with you!

Here's a sneak peek inside what goes on during a magical I AM Alchemy retreat:

Every morning, we began our day with Qi Gong practice lead by guest instructor Katherine Bird. Kat brought us practices from her Medical Qi Gong studies to support the energetic work. During this retreat, part of our focus included working with the Three Essentials (Salt, Mercury and Sulfur) and our personal Planetary Constitution. Here, Kat introduces us to the philosophy behind our movement practice:

We learned how to calculate the personal planetary constitution of everyone in the class, based on the Alchemical doctrine of Planetary Rulership. This includes primary archetypal influences, personal "power hours," and supporting the energies with corresponding metals, herbs, colors, foods and embodiment practices...

I AM Alchemy Retreat Teachings Planetary Correspondence
I AM Alchemy Retreat Planetary Constitution Moon Mars

 

...Then we studied  the necessary correspondences to support our personal Salt, Mercury and Sulfur Level Planetary Forces. I'm a double Moon plus Mars, which explains a lot.

I AM Alchemy Retreat Class Lightworker Portland Alchemist

We played games and found out who among us is competitive (hint: 2/3 of Team Mars, big surprise). We ate incredible food, we did intuitive readings and healing work for each other, we took a stargazing stroll and saw Jupiter, Saturn, Venus and Mars. We laughed a lot and witnessed each other through our joy and our tears. We examined our personal and professional practices in light of this mystery school and renewed our commitments to Self and Spirit as wayshowers for a New Earth.

I AM Alchemy Retreat Altar Ceremony Oracle Magic Eclipse Vision Quest

We all took an afternoon of solo ritual space to Vision Quest and practice journey work to step into this next initiation phase of our course. Everyone worked some pretty powerful magic and came back with epiphanies, commitments, messages from Guides and new, powerful energies to supercharge the next stage of the journey.

 

I AM Alchemy Retreat Personal Practice Journaling Alchemist Teaching Portland

 

 

The weekend included plenty of time for journaling and personal reflection. In such a beautiful setting, you can't help but breathe a little deeper, tune in to a more subtle awareness and just let yourself simply be.

 

 

I AM Alchemy Retreat Portland Alchemist Magic Spirit Synchronicity

 

 

There were signs and synchronicities everywhere! We received plenty of visits from animal guides, whispers from Spirit, and massive inputs of eclipse energy. Every sign felt like a message from Source, saying "you're on the right track. Enjoy the journey."

 

 

I AM Alchemy Retreat Heaven and Earth Portland Alchemist Training Teaching Magic

 

 

Plus, we got to wake up with this right outside every morning. Check out the view from my bed:

 

 

I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful, nourishing, inspiring retreat experience! This work is so much FUN, and I get to share it with a cohort of passionate, powerful students who are changing their lives and changing the world. It is truly an honor and a joy to dive deeper and deeper into this work. I AM Alchemy is stretching me, pushing me and inspiring me to uplevel my practice and my craft in ways I never imagined. What a journey.

If you're interested in I AM Alchemy 2019, get on the wait list here!

I'll be taking the next few days to rest and integrate! Catch you in August.

The Magic of YES and No

I love YES!

There's so much possibility and opportunity that comes from Yes. Going on cool trips, receiving gifts, trying new things... there are so many great things that can come from Yes.

But where does our YES start to feel like a burden?

We receive a lot of training on the correctness of Yes. "It's rude to refuse." "This person said Yes to me, so I have to say Yes to them." "If I don't say Yes, I will look bad." Even in games and practices, we are encouraged to say Yes to keep the conversation dynamic flowing.

A few years ago, I started embracing NO. I said No to invitations, offers, dates and gifts. I said No to people who didn't feel aligned with my values. I learned to love NO.

Recently, I've been playing with my YES and NO even more, when it comes to my work. As I am shifting the focus of my offerings and my practice, it means that I am moving away from serving certain types of clients, for whom I still hold a great deal of love and compassion.

These have been some of my most challenging NOs to date. As a healer, when someone comes to me in need, it pulls so fiercely at my heart.

Yet, when I say YES to these clients, I feel the burden of turning away from my own, authentic service.

I sat with this over the weekend during an intensive training. As I journaled about my business values and practices, one of the fears that arose was, "I cannot fulfill my most authentic service and still be available to the people who need help."

I contemplated this belief from a place of compassion... for myself, and for those who reach out for a kind of support I am not prepared to deliver. I asked myself, "What is possible if I let this old story go?"

The answer that flowed from my pen said, "It is possible that I can serve from a place of freedom, enoughness, trust, from knowing that I am still serving those who need me, trusting that I am working for change, and that those who are suffering will still receive from my work... that my practice holds the vibration of Joy and Freedom."

In other words, I could offer my NO with love. I could offer a referral, or another type of help that would be more supportive for the person in need. I could hold my NO as a sacred ally to support me in my authentic service.

And when those people come to me who are completely aligned with my work, who light me up to support them, I can offer my deepest heart YES. My fierce YES comes from a sense of freedom, excitement, conviction and inspiration...

...and that is the only kind of YES I want to offer.

Speaking of YES...

I would love to invite you to join me at Camp Yes this summer!

Camp Yes

 

Imagine lying in a hammock under huge cedar trees and remembering what it is like to actually relax and be present. Imagine stepping away from all the noise to tune in to your inner voice and wisdom, while floating on a unicorn (I'm not kidding) down the river. This is a place to reconnect with yourself and your purpose through the power of Play!

What would be possible if you said YES to yourself? To your heart's mission?

I will be facilitating a playshop at Camp Yes about working with the magic of YES and NO! Come join me and a group of other amazing women as we say YES to ourselves and our most authentic way of being!

As a member of my inner circle, you get a special insider offer. Use the code ALCHEMY for a $50 discount off your ticket price!

Early Bird registration ends May 31! Register now to reserve your bunk.

See you at camp!

I AM an Alchemist

I have been working on developing an I AM Alchemy year-long training and certification program.

It's amazing how the core essence of who we are and what we're doing in the world can be right in front of our faces, and yet it sometimes takes years of practice, learning, falling down and peeling back the layers to see it properly.

I AM an Alchemist, and I have been one for not only this entire life, but definitely many lifetimes. Mentors and friends have reflected this to me over the years:

"Michelle, you're addicted to personal growth."

"Transformation is your THING."

"You work with the process of change better than anyone I know."

And yet, for most of my life, I was blind to the bigger vision of what I was doing.

I feared change because I didn't understand it. I submitted to transformation with gritted teeth because it felt beyond me, bigger than me and outside of me. I felt subject to the whims of the Universe and awash in a sea of energetic currents, and it felt as though every ounce of ground I gained took colossal effort.

Over the years, I softened my relationship with change. I learned to align with the Universal energy currents--the Cycles of Power--and to ride the waves rather than try to steer against them. I developed tools to bring ease and grace to my life. I learned to enjoy and look forward to the process of transformation with excitement, because I finally understood it. I had the tangible skills and embodied practice to become the magical creator of my life.

Alchemy is the art and science of transformation. For thousands of years and and for many devotees, the process of Alchemy provided the keys to undergo initiations of the spirit, burning away all that was heavy and impure in order to reveal the gleaming gold of an awakened soul.

In the year of I AM Alchemy, we'll be applying the magic of Alchemical principles and practices to master the process of transformation and create an easy relationship with change. We'll play with the Universal currents of energy and learn how to channel them into grounded manifestation of our intentions.

We'll explore our powers of self-transformation and actualization in order to come into the fullest expression of our I AM, bringing our God selves into existence on the Earth plane.

If you are interested in joining me on this journey, contact me and I will send you the information for the next steps.

Many blessings!

Summer Solstice: Expansion & Contraction

I don't know about you, but I need a break.

I just arrived a few hours ago in San Diego to visit my dear sister, Katherine Bird. Over the next several days, we'll be facilitating ceremony, attending ceremony, doing healing work and offering our channeling and mediumship skills as guest experts in a Galactic Channeling Activation intensive workshop.

This is definitely not a vacation.

And yet, as soon as I arrived, I felt my nervous system immediately go into a state of contraction in anticipation of rest and nurturing.

When working with Cycles of Power, expansion and contraction are both equally important parts in the ebb and flow of energy. Today, on the Summer Solstice, we exist in the biggest possible container of light--the greatest potential for expansion. We have been building to this point for the last few months and the energies of expansion will continue to prevail throughout the summer, then wane back into contraction in the fall. This is the time to harness the power of illumination to reveal the deepest parts of ourselves that might otherwise stay hidden.

ILLUMINATION. WITNESSING. REVELATION. EXPRESSION. These are the keys of the Summer Solstice.

So, where does Contraction fit in all this?

Contraction is the space that enables us to go within, set our intentions, write the contracts (literally, "CONTRACT-ion") for our soul blueprints, work with the Karmic records and adjust our energy frequencies. Contraction is the essential counterpoint that turns Expansion into an effective, directed process, rather than an unsustainable explosion of energy.

I need to contract first in order to expand even more.

As I prepare to dive in deep and move some massive energies (I can feel it already), I will be taking some time for stillness and receiving. I'll be attending a singing and voice activation workshop with a master sound healer, lounging in the sun with my sister and snacking on healthy food. I'll be journaling (see below for my Solstice Gift to you!), setting my intentions and preparing to deeply alter my soul contract.

And then, I'll be ready to expand even further and continue the Cycle of Power.

What are your intentions for this powerful time?

Happy Solstice!

Identity Structure

This article is a follow-up exercise to my last post.

What makes up an Identity Structure?

Identity structures are exactly what you'd imagine: they're all the parts of ourselves that constitute any component of what we might identify as "Self." Some of the things included in our identity structures are:

-Physical body: What container do you live in?
-Emotional body: How do you feel about things?
-Mental body: What do you think about things?
-Energy body: What is your vibration and how does it respond to the world?
-Thoughts and beliefs: How do you think and feel about the world?
-Relationships: What role do you play in other people's identity structures and what roles do they play in yours?
-Childhood/past events: What formative experiences shaped your beliefs about the world?
-Memories: What is your subjective interpretation of past events?
-How you spend your time: Sacred Work/job, activities, pastimes... what do you do with your precious days?
-Language: What words do you use to speak about yourself and your existence?
-Interests: What captivates your attention?
...and SO many more!

Understanding Your Identity Structure

In order for us to work with the nuances of identity structure, we have to know what comprises the foundation of our Being. Here's my best advice to you:

Start with ONE of the points above. With your journal, sit quietly in meditative space and write intuitively about what comes up for you when you examine that facet of Self. For example, if you were to choose the "Memories" option, you might ask yourself, "What are some of the strongest memories I have from my childhood? What emotions are attached to those memories? What do those memories say about me? How do I feel about them?"

After you feel complete, review what you wrote and notice what jumps out at you. Is there any new information there? What themes do you notice? Does what you wrote feel positive and in alignment with a healthy identity structure? Does it feel as though it needs some further investigation and support to be fully processed and integrated?

The Outcome of Working with Identity Structure

Why do we do this? Ultimately, knowing who we are on all levels and allowing it to be witnessed is what lets us live our fullest expression. By diving deep and asking ourselves, "Who am I?" we create space for healing, processing and a healthy way of being in the world for ourselves and for everyone else.

Identity: The Dangers of Suppression

"Who am I?"

No small question, to be sure.

I spend a lot of time thinking, teaching, speaking and writing about identity and its manifestations in myself and my clients. Who are you as a healer? How does your Soul's Mission express itself? What parts of your Medicine are ready to be claimed? These are all sub-questions of that core inquiry: Who am I?

Up until recently, the concept of identity seemed to me to only be a net positive process of investigation. In other words, of course it's a good thing for people to discover and claim all parts of themselves! A few weeks ago, however, I had a startling revelation that has drastically altered my viewpoint on the universal implications of claiming our identities.

In the way that we remain casually connected with people through social media, I saw the coming-out declaration of an old classmate of mine. In a lovely and articulate post, she introduced herself as a transgender woman and showed her true face to the world. One line in particular struck me deeply: "This past year, as I approached my 30th birthday, I realized that while everyone else was exceedingly happy with who I was, I was decidedly not, and, if I didn't do something about it, I knew I wouldn't make it to my 40th."

As the implications of this sunk in, I realized that while it is not only a positive and healthy thing for us to claim and honor our identities, NOT doing so is not a neutral choice, it is an ACTIVELY DETRIMENTAL and DANGEROUS one. The results of suppressing or ignoring any part of our true selves are damaging and potentially life-threatening.

I was staggered. Something had clicked for me in a new way as I thought about all the means that so many of us take to shut down or stifle parts of ourselves. When it comes to our fundamental existence, there is no such thing as neutral: we are living and thriving, or we are withering and dying.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Let's think about this from the societal perspective. The way we behave and the choices we make in the world gives permission and sets the tone for other people to do the same. We are resonant beings whose frequencies respond to each other, so when people in a society are well, happy and fulfilled, it ripples out to others. The same is true for disharmonious frequencies. When people are unwell, unhappy and suppressed, that ripples out as well.

It is imperative, therefore, not only for our own health and well-being, but for that of ALL beings, that we choose to fully claim and honor all parts of our identities. If we don't, they wither, and we collectively create a society of slowly dying people.

I say this not to induce despair, but to emphasize the vital nature of this question: "Who am I?" If we don't fully know who we are, how can we honor those deepest parts of ourselves? How can we give life to and nurture the many faces of our infinitely complex being? How can we grow and thrive and, together, cultivate a society where all beings are inspired and given permission to fully express the truth of their hearts?

From one Warrior of the Light to another, I promise to keep asking myself that question every day so I can continue to honor all parts of my being. I do so not only for myself, but for the health and well-being of ALL beings.

So I ask you, now:

Who are you?
 

Life Review: Birthday Edition

My upcoming birthday is prompting even more introspection and self-examination than usual! I'm turning 30 on Thursday, and as I prepare to celebrate my life and usher in a new decade of even greater awesomeness, I'm taking the time for some considerable life review.  (I also have a GIFT for you!! See below.)

One of the big things that came up as I was on vacation a couple of weeks ago was appreciating just how quickly change occurs. I was at SOAK (a regional Burning Man event which I have been attending since 2011) staring at the massive bonfire and remembering who I was one short year ago, and how I was in such a different place in my life. I continued to follow this train of thought back over the years and was struck with so much appreciation for the way in which change occurs much more quickly than we realize. Maybe this isn't new information to you, but it was a revelation to me. I know I tend to run around the world with a certain degree of impatience, always wanting to accomplish things as quickly and efficiently as possible because there's so much to do!! However, things only feel like they're moving slowly when I zoom in and look at the short-term. As soon as I was able to widen my perspective and take in the last year (and widen even further to take in the last several years), I felt enormously humbled for just how much change I have created in the last year. Let's take a look at some highlights (and lowlights, because those are important, too):

  • On my birthday last year, I officially began claiming my medicine in an even deeper way by calling myself Michelle Hawk and honoring the name that Spirit had given me.
  • (Just over one year ago, but it's so close that we're counting it) I successfully redid/rebranded my business and launched my gorgeous new website.
  • I went through the trauma of losing my home and my amazing roommate, was gifted with a safe place to land over the winter, and two months ago moved into an amazing Goddess Temple house in a beautiful neighborhood.
  • My wonderful witch mother, Rosemary, and I officially released and began teaching our Illumination Reiki™ curriculum. We've been working on this for YEARS and it feels amazing to put this out into the world!
  • We also began teaching our classes at a gorgeous studio space (Vibrant Studios) in SW Portland. If you haven't seen it yet, we'd love to have you join a workshop and check it out!
  • On the personal note, I took a deep look at my patterns in relationships. I learned hard and valuable lessons from a couple of boyfriends and did amazing healing work to heal and finally release some old trauma from an abusive relationship.
  • My wonderful sister Katherine Bird and I began our video podcast, Shaman Sister Sessions, which will soon be available on iTunes!
  • I successfully trained for and ran my FIRST ever race! I ran a half marathon (ran every step of the way, no stopping or walking) and finished just over my goal of 2 hours (2:01:13, which is pretty darn close). 10k coming up next!
  • I reworked my healing and mentorship offerings to include Spiritual Warrior Mentorship for my clients who are ready to fully claim the magic of their Divine nature.
  • I gave a twist to my New Moon Rising intensive program and am delighted to offer it in its newest incarnation this fall!!
  • I spoke at a conference for the first time, taught a breakout workshop at another conference, traveled to California to teach at a retreat and was invited to speak at another conference in October (I just learned that I'll be giving the closing keynote speech on the first day!!).
  • I finally started treating my work like a business, instead of "just" my life purpose and passion. I cannot overstate how huge this is.
  • I released a lot of old beliefs, did a lot of hard personal work, coached myself through heartache and tears, loved myself fiercely enough to hold my ground and speak my Truth, trusted myself and Spirit enough to take some big leaps and danced plenty along the way!

It is so important to look back every now and then in order to really appreciate how much we have changed, how far we have come and how darn quickly it all happened! Thank you for the part YOU have played in my journey. It is a pleasure to walk with you on this path. Let us continue to witness each other in our magnificent unfolding.

Many blessings,

Michelle Hawk Signature

Okay, your turn! And here's the GIFT part:

In celebration of my 30th birthday, I am offering you a free 30-minute call with me! One on one, your chance to chat with me about whatever you like. Life purpose stuff? Big questions? Important decisions? Spending half an hour just catching up and telling jokes? Sure! Send me an email (please include your phone number) and we'll set up a time to talk.

 

In addition, I have an invitation for you.

While this is not required for you to claim your GIFT call with me, I highly suggest doing this exercise before we talk (or anytime). Grab a journal, cup of tea and settle in for some life review of your own!

  • Make a list (like I did above) of the standout events, accomplishments, revelations, personal growth moments, low points, etc of the past year. 
  • After you have your list, give yourself a hug! You've done a lot in just a short time.
  • Next, rate each list item on a 1-10 scale in terms of emotional charge (1 is no emotion attached, 10 is very emotionally charged).
  • Everything that scored an 8 or higher, look at more closely. As you re-read these items on your list, drop into your body and your breath. Notice what sensations and emotions are attached. Do these things feel expansive or contractive? Are they associated with joy, fear, love, rage, grief, pain, euphoria or something else?

The emotional charge that we hold from these defining events informs our current experience and way of being in the world. Notice what revelations come up for you as you look at this list. If you choose to claim your GIFT call with me, we can look more closely at some of these things and identify how they're impacting your lived experience, and what alchemy needs to take place in order to integrate the lessons.

I Am Not A Musician

I AM NOT A MUSICIAN.

…or so I keep telling myself, but my relationship to music and the way it manifests through me seems to be up for reconsideration.

I love to sing. My voice has always been my chosen musical medium, and other than my ceremonial hand drum, I have only ever played an instrument with the intention of providing a background for song to pour through me. Over the last several years as I stepped more fully into the practice of channeling healing songs during my energy work, what began as a few hesitant notes and chants eventually grew in fluency and fluidity. They now flow effortlessly in a cascade of moving energy to support nurturing, catharsis, activation, clearing and death. The healing songs I bring forth have given a voice to the grief, joy, innocence, pain, sweetness, rage and love of my clients (and of myself). Sometimes these songs have words, but mostly they consist of a blend of syllables and tones that provide some semblance of structure to an otherwise formless melody. While there might be similar themes, most of the songs are completely new in the moment and leave my consciousness as soon as they pour out of my throat. One or two, however, have come through so often and so strongly that I know them as allies that are here to stay and can call upon them consciously.

So, you might ask, what is it that has me meditating on the medicine of music? Let me take you through some standout events of the past week.

Last Friday, I attended a gong meditation and sound healing bath. I absolutely love these events and always go deep with the sound healing, and this was no exception. Despite the volume and intensity of the gong, I fell asleep, as I do when receiving deep healing. When I awoke near the end of the event, I suddenly heard a chorus of flutes within the shimmering tones of the gong. I listened, transfixed, and perceived the melodies of the ancestors making their way through the gong vibration. I felt my body respond with subtle shifts and releases as the sound of flutes intensified.

The next evening, I went to the closing ceremony of Sun Gate studio. In addition to the beautiful community container and celebration of the space, this wonderful event featured some amazing live music. As I drank in the deep heart songs, I heard that same chorus of ancestral flutes! Someone there was playing the flute, but what came through was much richer and more ancient than a single instrument and I knew that the ancestors were making their presence known. Later in the evening as other musicians shared their medicine, I experienced similar sensations of seeing/knowing/feeling the space from which they were channeling, and feeling that intimate connection with my own version of bringing forth healing songs.

Also at this event, I ran into a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in a while. He is a wonderful cellist, and we have enjoyed the occasional singing and playing together. He asked me, “Michelle, when are we going to make some music together?” I told him I don’t play an instrument, and he said “Well yeah, I know, but you sing.” I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember the feelings of resistance and shame and shyness that rushed through me, because after all, I’m not a musician and would have nothing to offer.

Fast forward a couple of days to a conversation with a friend. I don’t remember how the conversation arrived at this point, but he said something to the effect of “You’re going to sing during your speech” (meaning the speech that I gave yesterday at Embrace Festival) and my reaction was along the lines of “Haha, yeah right. I’m not a musician.”

The conference began on Friday, and the very first speaker was a woman from Australia who captivated me with her heartfelt talk on nonviolent direct action… and the pieces of songs of Australian First People that she wove into her talk.

Yesterday, I gave my speech at the conference, and as my friend predicted, I sang onstage. It was entirely unplanned, but as I gave my talk, I realized that I was actually offering a group healing session to the audience. In typical fashion, a healing song poured out of me. That was the first time I had ever sung a healing song in any kind of public context—a fact that didn’t register with me until just now.

Last night, I received some more deep medicine of powerful heart music during the Embrace Festival closing ceremony. I enjoyed every musical offering, but hearing Peia and the profound ancestral magic that poured out of her left me dissolving and raw.

…oh, and yesterday, a friend with whom I haven’t spoken in several months got in touch out of the blue to ask if I wanted to buy her ukulele.

…and the woman from Australia, after hearing me sing a healing song during my talk, said she wanted to give me some songs, so we sang magic together as we walked through the streets of downtown Portland.

I don’t really need to be a “musician.” I don’t even know what that means. But I do think my relationship to song and the way in which I share it with the world is up for reexamination. I know I cracked at least a few people open from giving my talk, and song medicine was a part of that. Given my philosophy on radical transparency (the reason I publish all the personal musings), if anyone anywhere could benefit even a little bit from me sharing a story, no matter how vulnerable, then I share it. I think the same goes for song. I have no idea what that looks like moving forward, but I will hold space for it to manifest in its perfect space and time.

Words—my normal, comfortable means of communication and a significant component of my medicine—seem to be failing me at the moment. The same thing happened repeatedly last week whenever the music cracked me wide open (as it did a few times) and I was left trying to communicate that which exists beyond words. Better quit while I’m ahead and leave it to a song for another time.